Jes Golbez has his love/hate list, and James Mirtle is trying to convince everybody to start picking Team Canada, so, me being an original guy, in the sense that ripping off multiple people and combining them into your own thing passes for original, I’ve decided to unleash Team Evil: the worst damn team in hockey. If this was an actual, established roster, rest assured that I’d start up a blog designed solely for the purpose of hating on them. Anyway:
Ilya Kovalchuk / Eric Lindros / Peter Bondra
Brendan Morrow / Henrik Sedin / Darcy Tucker
Brad Isbister / Chris Gratton / Dan Cleary
Jarko Ruutu / Sean Avery / Donald Brashear
Rob Blake / Derian Hatcher
Patrice Brisebois / Chris Chelios
Richard Matvichuk / Sean Brown
Kovalchuk: Miserable hot-dog punk.
Lindros: Under-talented, over-hyped, petulant, concussed, spoiled Daddy’s Boy (yeah, I liked the Nordiques, and yeah, I still feel it)
Bondra: He’ll score 30 goals a year, 25 of them meaningless, and he’s never heard of defence
Morrow: Residual Dallas hate. Prick.
Sedin: I’ve always despised Daniel, er, Henrik far more than Daniel, and I’m not sure why.
Tucker: Cheap-shot, yappy, Leaf-playing dirtball
Isbister: You can’t teach size, or hockey sense, evidently.
Gratton: Same as Isbister
Cleary: Why does he still get to play in the NHL? Oh, right, because he’s mastered the art of scoring more in the preseason than the regular season.
Ruutu: Do Vancouver fans even like this guy? All he seems to do is take dumb penalties.
Avery: I traded him off my hockey pool (PIMs!), so I can join the ringing chorus now.
Brashear: I actually remember feeling a little warm inside with the McSorely incident. There are enforcers, and there are goons; refusing to fight other tough guys makes you a goon, you dink.
Blake: When the hell is he going to get bad? Dammit!
Hatcher: Residual Dallas hate. Prick. He’s also slow, and related to Kevin.
Brisebois: Utterly useless in every way. Plus, now he plays for Colorado.
Chelios: Being a sure-fire Hall of Famer is easy when refs look the other way for two-thirds of your career. Chelios has 2753 PIM in his career; he should probably have at least double that.
Matvichuk: Residual Dallas hate.
Brown: Residual untalented Oiler hate.
Belfour: This has got nothing to do with Dallas, he’s just a prick. He’s such a prick, it just radiates through his goalie gear when he’s on the ice. There is nothing I enjoy more than watching Belfour get lit up. I think he’s probably my least favourite player in the league.
Snow: Why does he still get to play in the NHL? Is there not one better journeyman back-up anywhere? Is Trevor Kidd dead? Ron Tugnutt? Can we bring Salo back from Sweden?
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