Saturday, April 29, 2006

And you were there ... and you were there ...

Whew. So last night, I woke up around five in the morning feeling angry and despondent over the fact that MacT had apparently, somehow, traded for Jose Theodore midseries, who then proceeded to let in five goals during the third to hand the Wings a 7-3 win in game five.

After a few seconds, it dawned on me that this was impossible and/or retarded, and coming to realize it had been a horrible dream was one of the biggest reliefs of my life. I drank some orange juice and went back to bed knowing that no matter what transpires this afternoon, it couldn't possibly be as shitty as that.

That's about all the pre-game jibber-jabber you'll get out of me today. We all know the Oilers have to win, and we all know how they have to play. (The answer is "well.") Sacamano makes his point with a little history lesson, while Lowetide calls upon the spirit of (the still very much alive) Jim Harrison for inspiration.

Me? I just want a win so we can start airing out the stench of Cool Ranch Doritos and Pabst Blue Ribbon all those Red Wings fans left behind when they showed up to explain why their team is actually comprised entirely of Christ figures made out of benevolence and cotton candy, and therefore should never be suspected of wilfully committing an infraction against an opposing team. Rest assured such unabated moronity (?) will be more inclined to stay home if they are robbed of their reason to gloat like a bunch of pudgy eight-year-olds who got a bigger slice of cake than their sister by a decisive 3-1 Oilers win.

Now, who wants to see my "BEARD". It's fucking AWESOME. Girls LOVE IT. It feels GREAT on my FACE and I never want to SHAVE AGAIN.


Pleasure Motors said...

In your post for game one, you were wearing a small green cap of some kind or another (it looks kind of like one of those pillbox army hats the kids like to wear). Game two, no hat. Game three, the brown hunting hat, game four, small green cap, today some other green/brown hat (not the small one).

Conclusion: stop wearing that fucking green hat when you take your beard pictures. Furthermore, it seems the Oilers will win today.

Chris! said...

I assure you the hats are selected at random, and serve little purpose other than to hide the fact that I usually have just woken up when I take the beard shot.

Still, you raise a good point. I'll burn this hat today.

Anonymous said...

4:30 am and Coil are winning 2-0! A Whyte Ave. "WHOOOOOOOOOOO!" to you all.

Cautiously optimistic with clenched gut,


Anonymous said...

Just posted the above and Horc scores, 3-0, WTF?!?!?

Morley just said the fans are heading for the exits.


Black Dog Hates Skunks said...

re: Wings fans - wonder if we'll see any of them today - ehh, probably not methinks

Colby Cosh said...

3-1 was pretty goddamn close. Nice job.