Tuesday, April 25, 2006

May I suggest, ladies and gentlemen, that the time to "get electric" is now?

You've got to like Edmonton's chances tonight. They're playing smart defensive hockey (or, if you're retarded, "THE TRAP") and turning up the offense at all the right moments. Detroit has looked confused and helpless coming into the neutral zone, and the majority of their chances in the offensive zone have come from 60 feet out. This is how we're going to beat them — a plausibility that seems more and more real with each invisible Datsyuk shift and blocked Lidstrom point-shot.

"jpfalcon09" on the letsgowings.com forums suggests that Detroit's only hope is to play physical

How do you beat the trap? Dump and chase and be physical. If they want to trap you need to punish them physically to get guys out of position and work free loose pucks. Trap teams require their opponents to play ugly hockey and while it sucks to watch, it's still an effective way to hold down teams. Detroit needs to wake up, get physical and outwork Edmonton if they want to win this series.
And just who do Wings fans propose should step up and "punish" the Oilers forwards, exactly? It's not like there's a wealth of size and tenacity on the bench to choose from. (Hilariously, sacamano at BoA has noted some Detroit fans are proposing they dress Cory Cross as he's "the closest thing we've had to tough all year." Edmonton fans can only hope to god that they do.)

I'm thinking Oilers win tonight, but Detroit will split this homestand. While the good news may be our controlling play of late, the bad news is we sucked at home this year, while Detroit did very much the opposite on the road. Many have pointed out the Oilers may be suckered into playing too aggressively by a Rexall Place crowd swimming in beer, hardhats and misplaced anger — if we stay out of the box, we'll do okay.

In fact, we'll do more than okay. Roloson shuts the door tonight. Oilers win 2-0.

Annnnnd.... BEARDWATCH! Holy fuck — is it me, or did things just get a whole lot beardier in here? I have to tell ya, though, I'm really starting to become torn about my facial dedication to the Oilers' playoff run. On one hand, I want them to make the second round; on the other, this hair is starting to drive me crazy. While few can deny the visceral thrill of cultivating facial hair, what was once novel and faintly rugged has now become itchy and publicly humiliating. The fine line separating "forgot to shave" and "attempting to grow a beard" has been undeniably crossed. While still somewhat patchy, fullness and, ultimately, true bearddom, is now tangible and inevitable.

Just like an Oilers win tonight. Right? RIGHT??

7 comments:

sacamano said...

Hang on Chris!, hang on.

The itch factor disappears as quickly as it arrives: 3 days maximum.

I think you've got a nice base there for a killer French Fork

Matt said...

What a phenomenal website. The Organization for the Advancement of Facial Hair - wow. Anyway, Sacamano: how many of those have you sported in your days? I seem to recall both the chin strap and the Franz-Josef...

sacamano said...

I started off with the Balbo, which is what everyone who can't grow connectors is forced into, and then moved to the Petit Goatee when it became clear that the moustach just wasn't cutting it.

Like most guys in the early/mid-90's, I then graduated to the Goatee, follwed by the Short Boxed Beard, which turned into the Long Boxed Beard (not shown) because I didn't have a clipper and was too embarassed to go to a barber to have them trim it for me.

Since getting a clipper I have sported, for short periods of time, the Chin Strap, the Friendly Mutton Chops, the Franz-Joseph (which is really just a cleaned up FMC, which in turn is just a cleaned up Hulihee, which in turn is a cleaned up French Fork). Alas, I've neer been committed enough to bring out the latter two.

Good times, good times.

Matt said...

That is simply fantastic. Chris!, mike, Lumley: sorry to hijack your comments for these ridiculous, yet hilarious to me (and 100% true), tales.

DRZ said...

Stout heart, Chris! I can only beard up vicariously, through you....

James Mirtle said...

Oilers' Stanley Cup win = French Fork. No French Fork = no Stanley Cup win.

It's really all up to you.

jon said...

"Oilers' Stanley Cup win = French Fork. No French Fork = no Stanley Cup win."

Do what the man says...