Tuesday, April 11, 2006

You're only ever hurt by the ones you love

Detroit 2, Edmonton 0
Fake Edmonton 7, Fake Detroit 1

I'm about ready to give up on sports. I have no real trouble losing (my baseball team of choice is the Kansas City Royals), but this, this is inhuman. Every year, it's nailbiting. Every year, we slide ass-backwards towards the playoffs after a promising season, every year slowly crushing my soul. You want to know why CinO are a bunch of drinkers? We're Oilers fans. It kills the pain of living.

Sigh. Anyway, the game was okay, I guess. I thought we were pretty lacklustre the first two periods, penalties notwithstanding, not so much lacking effort as just getting flat-out beat (though Legace was sharp tonight). We did decent in the third, but I don't think we had too many really good scoring chances, and Draper's goal seemed to sort of make us resigned to losing. I realize I'm prone to wild swings of emotion when it comes to the Oilers, but it was just depressing, watching us not score, time after time, listening to the out-of-town scoreboards with tales of six-goal routs and Calgary-beating playoff clinching.

This loss was extra hard on me, since the person I'm playing in the hockey pool has Legace, and that shutout is going to put him out in front. And, you know, having your heart ripped out by Dick Tarnstrom's gloved hand puts a damper on things (is it fair to picture Tarnstrom as the cosmic destroyer, crushing hopes and dreams with a wave of his snakebitten stick? Probably not, but he'll do, I guess--I've always thought mediocrity was the greatest of all evils).

Two things have helped to cheer me up somewhat: on CHED after the game, some local savant has decided that Ales Hemsky is actually terrible. He called in to explain why MacT should be fired (a sentiment I find myself more and more in agreement with every day, but we'll save that for another time), and his number one reason was that Hemsky wasn't doing anything. It's nice to know that, as blindingly emotional and irrational as I get about the Oilers, there's always a full slate of radio call-in morons making the world safe for ignorance. Also, as the subhead alludes to, my fake Oilers (circa beginning-of-this-year roster, sans Spacek and Samsonov and with Mike Peca rated quite high) beat the fake Red Wings quite handily. Hemsky got four points (take that, Overtime Openline retard!), including a ridiculously nice end-to-end rush capped by a give-and-go. It is one step closer to caring about my video game team more than the real one. The video game team never crushes my spirit. And I can always hit reset. Or throw the controller. Maybe throw the controller at the reset button. Or bench a player out of pure spite, hoping to "shake up" my team. Ah, video games, why can't life be more like you?

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

"Armed with Pronger, Samsonov and Roloson, Edmonton's ready to make some serious noise in the playoffs this year. They might even go all the way!"

All the way to the first tee! ahahaha

loweitde said...

I'm kicking ass on Hot Shots Golf as we speak. My caddy resembles Todd Harvey.

mike w said...

Leave us to our pain, archetypal anonymous guy.

Sean said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
jon said...

One has to admit though, there is something mildly amusing about the Ranger-esque demise of our team's playoff aspirations.

Anonymous said...

I'm going to advance a somewhat different stratagem. I posit that it is in MacT's best interest to quit this off season.

He could leave and they could engineer a Kevin Lowe media spin suplex and it's all about "team direction" and "best interest of the team moving forward" and he would have a new job and a new start, unsullied.

Or...he stays on and tries to teach a pig to sing. There is a bad smell on the team and you can't fire/trade the whole team. I predict it doesn't end well. He is basically one losing streak or bad goalie or even bad ref call away from his best friend giving him a public shitcanning. The worst thing that can happen to your future coaching prospects is to get run out of town by pitch fork wielding villagers because you stink when you coach.

So, stay and get one more year as a head coach and then spend the rest of your life in minor league rinks trying to make it back. Or leave and get at least another 2 or three years at another locale and maybe we'll find out if he's actually any good.

g

Anonymous said...

I'm going to advance a somewhat different stratagem. I posit that it is in MacT's best interest to quit this off season.

He could leave and they could engineer a Kevin Lowe media spin suplex and it's all about "team direction" and "best interest of the team moving forward" and he would have a new job and a new start, unsullied.

Or...he stays on and tries to teach a pig to sing. There is a bad smell on the team and you can't fire/trade the whole team. I predict it doesn't end well. He is basically one losing streak or bad goalie or even bad ref call away from his best friend giving him a public shitcanning. The worst thing that can happen to your future coaching prospects is to get run out of town by pitch fork wielding villagers because you stink when you coach.

So, stay and get one more year as a head coach and then spend the rest of your life in minor league rinks trying to make it back. Or leave and get at least another 2 or three years at another locale and maybe we'll find out if he's actually any good.

g

Scarlett said...

I can take losing to Detroit, but I'm still recovering from our loss to St. Louis. What an embarrassment! The Oilers shouldn't show their faces in public again after that debacle!!!

Dennis said...

Why would someone be a Royals fan? Other than growing up in the 70's and loving George Brett? I need to know more about this!!!

I don't think there's any question MacT's done as Oilers coach unless they get into the second round and I doubt that's gonna happen.

Did you read his quotes in today's dailies about how there's not a lot to be positive about?

The guy's clearly a beaten man.

Black Dog Hates Skunks said...

Dennis, back in the 70s and early mid 80s the Royals were a sweet sweet team - always competitive, good pitching and D, timely hitting, George Brett, Willie Wilson, Hal McRae, Frank White

What the hell ever happened to the Royals?

jonny said...

"What the hell ever happened to the Royals?"
Past Glory, Poor Management, Loyal Fans in a smaller market,

I spot an ugly trend

Dan-O-Mite said...

Okay guys, the girls' house blog has a Oilers update before you do. What's up?

Garnet said...

Yeah, you shmucks. The Oil clinch a playoff berth despite naysayers like myself and where are you? A fanbase turns its lonely eyes to you, woo woo woo.
Let's all look forward to our certain demolition by Detroit! Well, it beats playing Dallas again. Doesn't it?

pete said...

great blog.

that is all.

as an aside, the word verification for this comment is "gooilno"

if that doesn't sum up how up and down this oilers season was, I dont' know what does.