Tuesday, May 23, 2006


Oilers 5
Anthropomorphic Animal Sports Enthusiasts 4

Whew. Holy shit — like so many summer blockbusters reviewed by Joel Siegel of the Movie Minute over the years, that game was one hell of a rip-roaring thriller of a rollercoaster ride full of ZOW! and ZAZZOO-WAH, wasn't it? Actually, I’m not sure he ever said that last part. Well, maybe he blurted it out loud during the presser for Ice Cube’s Are We There Yet?, but he certainly never wrote it in a public forum. I mean, hey, I would know. I LOVE HIS WORK.

Anyhow, what were we talking about? Oh yeah: how the Oilers went from spanking the Ducks by an embarrassing 4-0 score to barely surviving an onslaught of goals that succeeding, if not in winning, then in bringing the Rexall party back down to earth. I don’t think I’m alone when I say I found this game to be a little unnerving, despite the favourable outcome.

I mean, sure, the Oilers are still up three games to zero, and their advancement to the Stanley Cup finals (???) is all but assured — but at the same time, the Ducks learned an important lesson today, and that’s that Dwayne Roloson is not infallible: throw enough pucks at the net, and something’s going to go in. While it didn’t result in a win tonight, this revelation might not bode well as the Oilers try to close out the series. Plus, it’s scary when the Ducks score, and it makes people cry. Like me. And baby Jesus. And sometimes Joel Seigel.

So, uh, what else did we learn today?

• This series is not at the point where I can eschew posting a beard photo and still expect the Oilers to convincingly win.

• Given his contribution to history, it’s still okay to feel a little bit sorry for Todd Marchant.

• Based on recent photos, Scott Niedermayer is roughly two weeks away from the most glorious wizard beard the world has ever known, complete with emphatic white streaks. Let’s hope he runs out of time.

Teemu Selanne is a dangerous man, and not just because he kills a hobo before every game.

Sergei Samsonov’s visage could best be described as “lupine.” Which is fitting, because tonight he was to hockey as Jason Bateman was to basketball in Teen Wolf Too.

• There is a surprising amount of alcohol in a bottle of wine.

• Having no job and being able to sleep all day renders this last point irrelevant.


lowetide said...

Great summary. I found myself wandering away from the action tonight (past Ice Cube and Teen Wolf and even pet rocks) to a 1975 Montreal-Buffalo game just like this one.

I'd bet you the final score was 6-4 Buffalo and I do remember a Rene Robert goal where he came in on Dryden, stopped on a dime, went roof, hit the twince behind the crossbar and watched the puck bounce out so quickly the game kept going.

They eventually counted the goal, and they did tonight too on the deflection.

I don't know how the 1975 Islanders felt (it was '75 right?) but imo the Ducks feel like they're not close to full measure for the effort they've put forth so far this series.

Something tells me it isn't over yet.

sacamano said...

Baaa. It's ovah.

Andy Grabia said...

Their advancement to the Stanley Cup finals (???) is all but assured.

What the hell is wrong with you man? I kinda hope Blogger breaks down for the next two days. We are getting out of control.

Chris! said...

What? Can't a man call a 3-0 series lead what it is — a hefty security deposit on a ticket to the big dance — without pissing off the hockey gods? Yeesh. I know it's not over til its over — or ovah, as it were — but Christ. Can't we live a little here? I'm not in Edmonton; I don't get to blow off my steam hoisting girls up in shopping carts and stabbing people until my forearms burn from overexertion after every game. THIS IS ALL I HAVE. Don't take it away, Andy. Let me live.

Anonymous said...

Damn straight Chris! this is totally over right now. Two teams. That's it. 42 Leafs and 75 Islanders. It's done. Oil are in the dance and it's gonna be Buff I think.

Long live the Thirsty Turtle and Pecker! Enjoy the party everyone!

Go easy on the CANADIAN cuz there ain't much around mofos!


mike w said...

Besides I'm still superstitious (or is it OCD?) and would never utter such a thing, so it all evens out.

Anonymous said...

People people... calm down! We haven't won anything yet! The Ducks sure gave me a scare tonight!

And I have to say that no one should thinks it's done until the fat duck sings damnit! It's isn't even close to over! I think the Ducks might make a series of this yet!


Colby Cosh said...


Anonymous said...

It's totally over unless the Ducks come back.
No really, it's over.

Bob Cole is in full voice, it's awesome. Whoever has been complaining about him better check their heads. It's like a 60 minute Leonard Cohen song, one of the good ones.

Peca's goal was a carbon copy of the one from the game before. I bet not one person is complaining about how much he cost now. The Oilers would probably pay a million dollars a goal for the rest of the playoffs.

Here's to Goggles Pisani!


lowetide said...

Let's be clear on this: the Oilers have a tremendous hold on this series but through 9 periods I don't see any quit in them AND they are in a worse place than they deserve to be based on their level of play.

So maybe they give up and hand game 4 to Edmonton. Maybe the Oilers recover from the flu and play their best game of the series. Maybe Roloson, Pronger and Peca lead the way one more time.

But it doesn't feel like a sweep, even at 3-0.

crase said...

they won't lose in edmonton next game. they got a skate deflection, nice flashes from salami(their only horse), and some weird jump over the puck goal. roloson should have got a star.

the brooms will be out for us getting in the cup finals? i wish i would have placed that bet in vegas in october. groil!

Scott Hennig said...

Can anyone explain to me why more-than-a-handful of fans in Rexall boo'd the presence of The Commish - Gary Bettman when his name was put on the jumbotron?

If anything Oilers fans should be demanding he get early consideration for the Conn Smythe.

If it weren't for Bettman and him digging in his heels for a salary cap, the Oilers wouldn't have Peca, Pronger, Spacek or Roli and the owners would be actively searching for a sugar-daddy to bail them out and move our team to Omaha

Andy Grabia said...

People said the same thing about the Yankees and the Red Sox two years ago, and we know how that turned out. It's like Le GG gving the thumbs up from the box to the jumbotron after his second fight last night: those things have a tendency to come back and haunt you. Don't give you opponent any reason to fight, even karmically.

TigerCheeks said...

Wizard beard? I personally thing ScoNeid looks like Grizzley Adams...

mike w said...

>Can anyone explain to me why more-than-a-handful of fans in Rexall boo'd the presence of The Commish

Because, um, Bettman and the owners have mismanaged the league for almost 20 years?

Scroll way back to the first few posts in this blog to see what we mean.

mudcrutch79 said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
jon said...

Ahh, I'm having a blast going through the archives. It was a funny summer after the lockout was ending. I didn't quite realize it at the time, but all that free time and good marks from the year previous were directly the result of time not spent following and watching hockey (bouts of depression were also conspicuously absent, perhaps the specific result of the Oilers not playing).

Kyle Kosior said...

I am with Cosh on this one. The sweep is coming. I want it to silence the hordes of media critics who make excuses for the Ducks and chalk up Edmonton's run to pure dumb luck. I see nothing wrong with walking with a little swagger these days.

namflashback said...

Did all of you notice how the crowd broke into the "We want the Cup!" chant just prior to the near comeback by the Ducks?

If you don't want the team to get ahead of themselves (and you shouldn't), then don't get ahead of yourselves yourselves.

Jes Gőlbez said...

Welcome to the New NHL, where .500 teams become cup finalists overnight!

*shakes fist*

mike w said...

>Welcome to the New NHL, where .500 teams become cup finalists overnight!

Jes, considering where the Canucks are heading, you'll should be praising this.

Dan-O-Mite said...

Okay, how about this one to chew on:

If the Oilers don't win tomorrow night and beat the Ducks in four, they won't have enough juice to play whoever gets by in the east. So they might as well just give up the series.

Vic Ferrari said...

Can anyone explain to me why more-than-a-handful of fans in Rexall boo'd the presence of The Commish - Gary Bettman when his name was put on the jumbotron?

I think he got an even bigger smattering of polite clapping, but the booing was clearly louder. Mostly a shitload of indifference though I thought.

As to why: My theory is that has little to do with his actions and everything to do with his image. He's a non-hockey lawyer who looks and acts a bit like a weasel in every interview. A hard guy to love really.

I've often meant to google back through the NHL news during the lockout year and grab the first half dozen quotes from both Burke and Bettman. Then do a quiz on a fan board and see if anyone could match the comments to the speaker (weeding out the ones where one of them is referring to their own current or previous positions of course). I'd bet that the average score is 6 of 12 correct. Brian Burke just has a higher TVQ.

Related note: The jumbotron cameo response that I cannot understand is the Ron Low one. Why the hell does Low get such a huge roar of approval? Even Ron looked shocked by the response. :D

Vic Ferrari said...

Let's be clear on this: the Oilers have a tremendous hold on this series but through 9 periods I don't see any quit in them AND they are in a worse place than they deserve to be based on their level of play.

Yeah, I kind of feel the same way. I heard a Ducks fan call the local sports radio after the game, and he felt that the Ducks had been the better team in the series so far and probably deserved to be ahead on merit, but were behind on bounces. And really, it's hard to disagree.

But with the 3-0 lead, and the Oilers yet to play their best in the series (largely due to the flu bug I'm sure) ... methinks that the Ducks are going to need some terrific determination and execution, plus a lot of madass luck, to come back and win now.

BTW: The bookies are agreeing with Chris! here. Giving the Oilers a 63% chance of finishing off the Ducks tonight. Which is a helluva edge for a playoff game, even on home ice. And especially so when you consider that so many Oiler players are ailing.

Dennis said...

Hard to argue with that Ducks fan but at the end of the they should be kicking themselves because they couldn't beat a flu-riddled team and they also have to realize the Oilers netminding has been better.