Tuesday, May 2, 2006

When fandom meets modern dance, hard-style


"Zetterberg," I muttered to no one in particular.

Stuck with another shitty, non-usable VCR and working overtime at my dead-end job, I spent most of the game refreshing Yahoo hoping against hope. Outshot 17-2 in the second? Six minutes of tied hockey all game? Didn't look good.

Then, despite Detroit being up in the third, some sort of clairvoyant premonition came into my head: a vision of a thousand Oilers fans on Whyte Ave just one turned-over car short of a riot, cheering like cleft-headed retards. My Edmontonian sense was tingling, but I was surrounded in a workplace full of unsympathetic Easterners, Leafs and Sabres fans, and mostly women who, sensibly, hate hockey. Pisani's two goals earned the Oilers two tightly pumped fist along with a hissing "Yesss!" just under ear shot, but I still felt like I was about to miss something. Despite working overtime, and being paid time and a half for it, I dropped everything and headed over to the Corporate Boardroom for the last five minutes of the third.

Just in time, I got a taste of cosmic justice with Hemsky's video review, and then, like lazer jazz on ice, Hemsky's winner, fittingly scored against the Red Wings' slipshod defence.
Cut to a blogger's gayest post-celebration dance in recent memory: a proudly metrosexual number that gets full marks for its pointe work, with a bit of spanish flavour that practically begs for castanets and ruby-studded boots (click on attached drunken, freehand sketch) . A high water mark for both the Oilers and one man's search for dance perfection.

mueva de un tirón sobre un coche para mí, mis amigos!

13 comments:

mike w said...

Stay tuned for a delicious photo gallery of cheering jacknuts, coming tomorrow.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Chris! said...

wow, 10 bucks? THAT'S THE DEAL OF A LIFETIME!!!!! Thank you, anonymous stranger!

gary b said...

amen brother.



dance with your bad self.

Anonymous said...

or get 'em for free!

http://www.cif-forums.com/vb/

mike w said...

>All 6 games on DVD for ten bucks. Seems like a fair deal.

Here's an idea: stop trying to sell your eBay crap on our site. Sound good?

Anonymous said...

Well, since posts are being deleted (which I don't understand since this blog is pretty much shameless plugs from people who wish they were good journalists), I will quickly say that it takes 16 games to win Lord Stanley's Cup. I forsee Edmonton winning 6 of the necessary 16. Oh well, at least you guys got your "once every 8 years we'll win a playoff round" celebration.

mike w said...

You may be right.

"Journalism" just pays the bills, anonymous. Modern dance will always be the first love.

Chris! said...

Gee, if the whole point of this blog is to shamelessly promote ourselves as journalists, we sure are doing a shitty job, what with the not using our names or plugging our work in any way. Good point, anonymous. Now go back to playing in that mountain of ten dollar bills you've undoubtedly earned by taping a bunch of CBC broadcasts and ripping them onto a DVD. After all, who in their right mind wouldn't want that?

Anonymous said...

Thankfully here in the States with our great economy, I was able to record them straight to DVD. With that being said, it's a fair mix of CBC, OLN and NBC. So if you're really excited about hearing the unbeliveably biased CBC broadcasters, alas, maybe this set isn't for you.

Another plus, at least I don't carry a fag looking beard like the beloved Chris.

mike w said...

Hear that Chris, YOU BIG FAG??

Eyeris said...

I saw the Dallas and Avs game on NBC that day and I have to say I was not impressed by their graphics department. Instead of having a small scoreboard on the upper corner, they actually stretched the scoreboard across the entire width of the screen. And when there's a powerplay, they tack on the PP clock beneath it. AND, they also had a shift clock beneath that mess sometimes. So basically a quarter of the screen was obscured by that mess and you can't see any of the cross ice passes because well, what do you know, Modano is in 2:30 of his shift!

mudcrutch79 said...

You know what's a sign of a guy kicking ass in a great economy?

Being reduced to taping shit off TV and then advertising it on blogs with readership in the hundreds as the proprietors of said blog make fun of you.