Saturday, June 10, 2006

Carbon monoxide poisoning and you.

As always, just when things seemed to be at their unexplainable worst, Edmonton's own philosopher/poet/coach shows up to put it all in perspective:

"I said it to the players today. Carolina is a little bit like carbon monoxide poisoning. You don't really sense it, you don't really sense the fear, but it's lethal."
Well, damned if that doesn't explain everything. All series, I've been staring aghast at the TV, consumed by the preposterousness of our situation, wondering aloud to anyone who would listen as to what was so fucking hard about beating these Carolina Hurricanes, who seem nearly identical on paper to the high-scoring and defensively porous Detroits and San Joses we've dispatched along the way. If I had known that we were battling not men, but rather a barely corporeal cloud of poisonous gas, I would have saved my breath for far more important things, like getting outside.

But, man. The nausea, the headaches, the dizziness we've all been experiencing... suddenly, they all make perfect sense.

Hopefully, the Oilers can wake up and realize this, too, before the last gasp of their playoff life is completely leached from their slumbering bodies by an enemy they may never truly know. The fact of the matter is, as MacT so eloquently put it, the Oilers have yet to know fear in this series. These Hurricanes have at times seemed so average, so beatable, and yet they've rather quietly gotten down to the business to kicking our asses right under our noses without us ever having realized it. How did this happen? Because we didn't have fear.

In not fearing our opponent, we have failed to respect their talent. And in failing to respect them, we have all but handed them the first two games by playing a fast and loose forechecking game, carelessly trading chances with a team that may just be deep enough to beat us at our own game.

This has to end tonight. If the Oilers are going to crack a window and clear the air in this series, we have to get scared. We have to tighten up our game and get fucking mad. I know, I know... it's tough to feel strongly one way or the other about a gas. It's like hating clouds — existent only in the realm of insanity.

Well, fuck it. Let's go insane.

Tonight, the Oilers will prove just how hard they are with a return to the stifling, bone-crunching defensive system that got us here in the first place. Tonight, the Oilers will win. Any other outcome must be impossible.

So win, you fuckers. Let the viking ghosts of Imatra fill you with their insatiable, murderous rage. Win.

We're watching the game at Paupers tonight (539 Bloor, on the corner of Lippincott), who tell me they are indeed opening the upstairs this time. Anyone in TO who can make it out, hope to see you there. Mudcrutch, Coluch, that means you.


Coluch said...

Nicely put Chris!.. nicely put.

I'm not sure about leaving my couch tonight though, as it seems to have a bad karma about it. A karma that defeats the Oil every time I encite it's wrath. If I do come though, I will definitely bring a cloud-stabbing dagger with me.

ALSO, did anyone watch the classic games on CBC!!?? What the fuck has changed our game so much that fans can no longer hop the boards, run across the ice, and enjoy a clebratory embrace with Oilers players - BEFORE the game is even over!? Why can I no longer accept the Stanley Cup alongside my team's captain without fear of getting tazered and sent to Guantanamo in a burlap sack? Why can't fans at Rexall cheer in unison while holding LIT FIREWORKS in thier hands as they did back in the Northlands days? Will I be allowed to circle the ice with my team this year when they win the cup, actually touching the cup repeatedly as fans did in the past?

Really all of these questions are just the lead-up to the two REAL questions that I MUST have answered:
1) What year did this all change? (my gut is telling me the year Bettman started and things got commercialised 90-91'ish)
2) Who else sees those days as true Hockey Heaven? Scratch that, who sees those days as simply Heaven?

bluebloodrunsthick said...

1)I think it all changed around when Gretzky actually left and we seen all the ads and salaries start to go up. I remember watching the 90 finals and no fans were allowed to get that close to the players in Boston. I also had more difficulty getting any hockey cards signed at the ramp by the players after the 91 season.(back exit of the coliseum where players would leave and walk to the bus to go the airport) I had no problems getting Yzerman and Lemieux etc. to sign my cards before that. I was like 10 though.

2)Yes that was heaven, especially the first cup. I got tears in my eyes seeing them win that all over again on Wednesday night... especially when Mess got the MVP. Hockey was so simple back then.

"I know, I know... it's tough to feel strongly one way or the other about a gas. It's like hating clouds — existent only in the realm of insanity."

LMAO that's f*&^ing hilarious Chris!

Yea let's hope the Oil doesn't trade chances or else they will be poisoned. Expect a much better team, a team who realizes what got them this far.


oskar the caniac from sweden said...

You just cant compare the Canes with Detroit. All season, the Hurricanes have been building a TEAM, not to be confused with the Detroit set up of LINES of good players.
I think the oilers will be playing another game at home, giving the Canes a hard time, and ive heard Tarnstrom the Swede is back on the ice, so congrats Oils!

Let the best team win. However this series will end, lets face it, our teams are the best this season and that means alot!!!

Coluch said...


bluebloodrunsthick said...

That was a clutch win! Nice to have a bounce go our way. What a tight game. Markannen was solid and our game was back to the way it should be. Even Mess was sitting with Lowe and Coffey cheering the boys on. That was nice to see. Now we need the next game even more than this one... I smell blood in the eye of the Hurricane!


Anonymous said...

As a Sabres fan, I can really appreciate this analogy having seen all seven against the Canes.