Monday, June 19, 2006


So, uh, just one question: how the hell am I supposed to do this?

I'm just supposed to accept that it's all over, and go on?

What if we lose? How could that possibly be acceptable? Maybe April Dave meant it when he said that he'd just be happy to get out of the first round. Maybe December Dave will mean it when he says that it was a nice two months while it lasted. But how the hell am I just supposed to sit there, after two months of destroying myself physically and fiscally, after two months of the most earnest swearing I've ever done, drain my last beer, and say, "Oh well chaps, we'll get them next year"? How could any other run possibly compare to this? Do I cry? Hit something? Will I ever care about sports again?

But, dear God, what if we win? Will it possibly be as satisfying as these two months have made it out to be? Will it justify 22 years of essentially unrewarded devotion? Do I kiss people? Do I call my mother and tell her that, right now, Chris Pronger means more to me than her? Do I just have more beer, like this was any other night, and stumble home happy?

In the end, I guess, more than anything, I wish I was playing. Though my hockey talents let me know about a dozen years ago that I would never, ever be in such a situation as this, I wish I could actually step on the ice and do something, even just get steamrolled, so at least, at the end of the day, when I looked at myself, I could give myself an honest appraisal, champion or loser (or possibly honestly admit that I got jobbed, and make plans to kill Mick Mick McGough). But, no matter what now, know matter what I'm feeling or who I've threatened/kissed, I'll have to look at myself and honestly admit that I might as well start crying about cloudy days, for all the control I have over it.

For the next four-ish hours, I'm a cosmic cat toy, resting the entirety of my emotional well-being on a very sophisticated roll of the dice (and I'm not even the one rolling them). And what the hell am I supposed to do when they stop clattering around and show me their numbers? Huh? What?


mudcrutch79 said...

Hey, I've been loving your blog through the playoffs, but it's not very cool to swipe a post title without giving credit. Just sayin'.

mike w said...

Yeah Dave, you bastard.

We'll be seeing you at Rowers, Mud?

Randy in the Med Hizzo said...

Okay, here's my final prediction:
Two simultaneous riots at Whyte and Jasper, plus a monster-sized mess-up by the EPS and a forked-tongue cloumn from Paula Simmons. Remember that these are the same people who trapped 10,000 on the high level bridge a certain Canada Day ago.

Pleasure Motors said...

Sorry, MC, didn't have time to read the rest of the oil blogs--fin is what I always use in times like these. Full credit to you, though, for doing it first.

Chris! said...

Dave, I think he was referring to an earlier comment on my "Brothers and sisters" post.

Shucks, he didn't mean nothin by it.

mudcrutch79 said...

No worries-chris! is right.