Wednesday, June 7, 2006

Liveblogging the pain

This started a touch late, due to Blogger being down, but it's live enough I guess.

6:13pm

I know everyone has already pointed this out, but sweet tea and barbecue Carolina’s anthem singer is terrible. I guess it’s too much to ask for hitting the right notes, but maybe a little pronunciation? I swear I heard a “blag” and a “per-UH-lous.” Brutal.

On the plus side, as Bob Cole points out, it’s been exactly 99 days since Jussi’s first start. Maybe this is a team of destiny.

6:24pm--GOAL: Andrew Ladd

Bergeron is about one bad penalty from growing nine inches and big, floppy ears, then crying on his way out of town. Deflection aside, I thought we were supposed to be playing tighter? That was the end of a four-on-one, four-on-one, three-on-one sequence. I guess we think we can just win a shooting game. At least it wasn’t Jussi’s fault—there’s still faith.

6:31pm

Well, it’s taken about 70 minutes of hockey for me to go from deeply respecting Rod Brind’Amour (seriously, I used to trade for him in EA Sports games all the time—quality second-line centre, good hitter, fine faceoff man) to wanting to rip out his ACL with my teeth. What the hell is with his mouth, anyway?

6:35pm

Spacek screws up behind the net, Cole says, “What does that remind you of?” Fuck you, Bob, that’s what that reminds me of. Also, Bergeron is as nervous as he’s been since he got sent down to Hamilton. Someone needs to sit him down before he spontaneously grows the number 23 on his back (would 23 be the Oilers’ mark of the beast, for something topical?).

6:47pm--END OF FIRST

Exactly how many times are we going to get the puck 10 feet away from the net and not shoot? I can appreciate when Hemsky does it, but why is Pisani holding the puck?

All in all, a decent period. We got it taken to us for one stretch there, where Carolina got the goal, but so far it doesn't even look like we've adjusted our game all that much. GG made one uncharacteristic diving poke check attempt, but we seem to be okay with allowing a shot or two. Based on one period, Markkanen looks good enough--now we need to score on our goal-mouth chances (actually, in that respect, Carolina is looking more Oiler than the Oilers--bunch of scrambles with defencemen diving across at every opportunity and the puck just staying out).

6:55

Don Cherry is now picking the three stars for CBC. I also found some uniquely poetic irony in his pronouncement that he and Maclean were "having a few pops last night, and I got into this, even though I probably shouldn't have."

7:11pm (blogger froze out here, but again, recorded live anyway)

Who in the sweet hell has ever called Carolina a one-line offensive team, Harry Neale? Hasn’t everyone been talking about their depth this entire playoffs? Can’t you just look at their goddamn roster and see that?

7:17pm

Blocked shots! Glorious saves! No goals! Five on three! I think I believe! I think I believe! Oh, fuck, Torres, you would have to take a penalty, wouldn’t you. Redbeard fucker SOB. I’m glad Pronger slashed Brind’Amour.

7:21pm

SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVE!

7:22pm—Goal: Kaberle

That was about six seconds after Bob Cole said, “‘Get as close as you want,’ Edmonton says”: I hope you have to call lawn bowling in hell, you bald, Newfie bastard.

7:36pm

It's a little-known fact that lawn bowling in hell does not consist of lawn bowling as we know it, but rather features a team of treasoners and a team of usurers pissing molten lava directly at the media centre, which is a small, squalid shack made entirely of poisonous snakes. I hope Harry Neale is doing colour.

Also: WHY WILL THE PUCK NOT GO IN? WHAT HAVE WE DONE? WAS THE SACRFICING OF OUR NUMBER ONE GOALIE NOT ENOUGH? WHAT DO YOU WANT?

7:40pm--Goal: Stillman; End of Second Period

Fuck hockey. Seriously. Also, I have a feeling my alley neighbour just peeled out of his parking lot to go buy a bottle of Jack Daniels, a carton of cheap cigarettes, and a gun. At least, if I had a car, that's what I'd be peeling out of my parking lot to get.

Also, though I am Cam Ward's age and from his neck of the woods, more or less, I was never a good enough hockey player to have competed against him (that I know of). From what I've heard from people who were, and from people who he went to high school with, though, if the fate of the world depended on his ability to do Grade Nine math, we'd all be Scientologists, in a manner of speaking. This is entirely irrelevant in any way to the game, but it makes me feel a little better. I also hear his penis is quite small, and his mother doesn't love him. Because he's ugly. And stupid.

8:01pm

Calling it now: shorthanded goal. Ethan Moreau.

8:04pm

Fuck. Wait. Maybe not. Maybe yes.

8:05pm--Goal: Doug Weight

Confirmed fuck.

8:08pm

I don't even think there's a word I could scream right now that would convey the anger and frustration I am feeling at this particular moment. It would be the verbal equivalent of stabbing a puppy in the eye with a Hepatitis needle while his six-year-old owner looks on. Then kicking the six-year-old in the teeth.

8:11pm--Goal: Recchi

Please don't let them score again. If they score again, we're going to think about Conklin. All I want is for the game to end, and for no one important to get hurt. Oh, and if someone could remove my male-parts, so as they can stop getting kicked, I would appreciate it. Man breasts are a small price to pay for not experiencing this kind of pain.

8:13pm

Is this some sort of ordeal? Like, what else could go wrong? Are they going to put Roloson back on the ice and injure his other knee? Is Chris Pronger going to get shot in the face, then fall on Hemsky and Smyth, breaking their necks? Is a jet engine going to plunge through my roof and kill me where I sit? Well, no, that would end the pain. I hope none of my family are driving right now.

8:16pm

This is a bad time for razor commercials.

8:20pm

GG is on the powerplay. With Peca and Moreau. I wish I wasn't liveblogging this, so I didn't have to watch anymore.

8:24pm

The next penalty we take better involve impaling Rod Brind'Amour.

8:28pm

The Omen commercial just played. If you name your child Damien, aren't you just asking for it?

8:35pm

Glimmer of hope: Harry Neale just suggested that Tverdosky played a shift so he could get his name engraved on the Cup.

Alright, I have nothing. This is just...sigh.

8:40pm

It's like the five goddamned stages of a ball-kick loss: Hope, Denial, Frustration, Rage, Depression. I'm too forlorn to cry. Or drink. I need--love. Only love.

FINAL UPDATE AFTER SOME REFLECTION (9:35pm)

I blame it mostly on Torres. We had some solid momentum going after the 5 on 3 kill, and Shawn Horcoff looked like he was ready to single-handedly choke every Carolina defender on his way to scoring a hat trick. Then Torres took a stupid, useless, unfathomable penalty, Carolina scored on the powerplay, and that was that. He better score next game.

77 comments:

mike w said...

I don't understand all of this pinching from our defence. Why aren't we playing to our strentghs? Except for one small flurry the Oilers seem pretty good at getting the puck out of the zone, and clogging the neutral zone might frustrate the Canes into a another billion odd man giveaways. Their defence is terrible, especially on the backcheck.

mike w said...

Brind'Amour's face looks like a pile of rocks wrapped with skin.

Anonymous said...

7:20

2-0. Game over.

Fuck Carolina.

Anonymous said...

3-0. 2.5 seconds left in the 2nd.

Craptacular.

Chris! said...

Man, what the FUCK are we doing out there. Just embarrassing. I mean, sure, Stillman's goal was a dandy (did you see the way he flipped it over the goalie to the other side of the crease so he could come around back? Smooth), but jesus christ, you pansies. Where's your fucking *heart*?

We need a big, big third.

ROb! said...

i lost a bet $4.50 because it was Juicy in net.

:(

Alana said...

How cute is Roloson in his suit? Every time I see this guy, I just want to hug him.

matt said...

Roloson is the next Kelly Hrudey in the CBC booth.

Pleasure Motors said...

You bet FOR Conklin? I wouldn't even want that money.

James Mirtle said...

This liveblogging business is like watching PM slowly devolve.

Alana said...

5-0. Jesus fucking christ.

oskar caniac from sweden said...

Hohohahahahaha mohahahaha

---HockeyDude--- said...

conklin for game 3

Halfwise said...

I don't know which is the worst: listening to the CBC crew, watching the Oil getting schooled, or listening to Rod Phillips call them The Hurricane all the time.

Anonymous said...

The Edmonton Oilers are hockey's Terry Schiavo.

Pleasure Motors said...

Oskar, you're a son of a bitch. A straight-up son of a bitch. Fuck you. Don't even joke with me right now.

oskar the hurricane said...

"Oskar, you're a son of a bitch. A straight-up son of a bitch. Fuck you."

Yeah, yeah I know. But hey, the Oils are beeing crushed!

sacamano said...

You poor bastards. I'm sure glad I wasn't live blogging this debacle.

I'm furious. I'm so angry I might just go down to the airport to try to start a fight with Laraque.

What a bunch of jackasses.

Jeff J said...

"This liveblogging business is like watching PM slowly devolve."

Kill the beast! Cut his throat! Spill his blood!

Sucks to your ass-mar!

Anonymous said...

I don't really care about scores, the whole competition game thing is popular with sports-challenged couch-athlete types but whatever.
all I want from the whole stanley-cup soap opera is for the fucking american team to lose. I know the Oilers are only technically canadian but who cares at least they contribute their ticket sales tax back to the Receiver General. FUck the yanks. Fuck Carolina.

Alana said...

Fuck Carolina, indeed.

Anonymous said...

Brass Bonanza time!

LETS GO CANES!!! said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Alana said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
James Mirtle said...

Well, if this comment thread has any bearing, at least the Carolina hubris has come out (and it only took Edmonton's best player and a 5-0 blowout for it to happen!).

---HockeyDude--- said...

why did Jesus and the two theives die on the cross ? It should've been Smith,Staios and Bergeron !

Achtungbaby said...

That Carolina singer sounds like an American Idol reject? Whose sausage did she injest to get that gig?

Brushback said...

An amazing, heart breaking, hilarious post, considering the circumstances.

---HockeyDude--- said...

mine or achtungbaby ?

fish said...

I liked that Wendy's commercial where that kid hypnotized his parents with hamburgers. Yeah, that WAS FUCKING AWEEEESSSSOOOOOMMMMMEEEEEE

uh huh huh huh huh

Anonymous said...

"That Carolina singer sounds like an American Idol reject? Whose sausage did she injest to get that gig?"


she's pretty hot, the guy probably didn't resist

The Acid Queen said...

Goddammit, I wish the 'Canes trolls posting here would SHUT. THE HELL. UP. They're fucking embarrassing me with their classless Sabres-fannish assholery.

And again, I'm sorry about the extreme shittiness of our anthem singer. A lot of us down here have been screaming for her to get singing lessons or something since the start of the season, to no avail.

Fuck, what the hell happened out there tonight anyway? That was a complete lack of discipline and loss of composure on the part of the Oilers, which I was not expecting at all from them--and WTF was Laraque thinking, trying to Orpik Doug Weight like that? Totally unnecessary.

*sigh*

Luck in Games 3 and 4, guys. And all you Canes fans that are being assholes about this can take a flying leap.

lowetide said...

Geez that hero canal looks more like the poop shoot now. At least most of you are in your 20s and can drink yourself into that delightful buzz and watch the CBC at midnight (it's tonight right) for the 1984 game (Lumley drills the empty net from our end, Linseman is a beauty, Lafontaine scares the Bujesus out of you with 2 quickes and the first goal is 99 on a stunning pass from Kurri who goes into his own zone and sends a bullet to 99's parking spot at the blueline during a shift change. Those who don't remember that game and will watch it must be told that when Gretzky put that puck between Billy Smith's legs on that goal the roar in Alberta made Saskatchewan shit the bed).

Desdemona said...

3 of those 5 goals were flukey, but even if he had only let one bad goal in, Edmonton still scored a big fat 0.

I didn't recognize them tonight. I thought for sure that they would throw everything that they had at Ward and get a man in front of him. Did anyone else see all of those rebounds with his legs wide open for a 5-hole shot and no one to take advantage? And what was with all of the pretty passes in the first. Great puck possession, but it doesn't work if no one actually takes a shot!

Well, at least Markkanen isn't to blame.

Brushback said...

mine or achtungbaby ?

I meant Pleasure Motors' original post itself, not anything in the comment string.

It's impressive, how something so sad can be so funny.

bluebloodrunsthick said...

The Oilers will play better at home in game 3. Or else we are done like dinner. Something tells me that this schallacking was alot better for them than losing 2-1 late in the 3rd or OT. They'll go over the video and yes start shooting more on Ward and screen the guy. God. They also had not a one break tonight. That Horcoff shot over the crossbar with 3 mins left in the 2nd makes it 2-1. Totally different game. The Stillman goal was the killer. FUCK ME. Damn it's dead here on Whyte again... like a fucking Oilers fan memorial service. Cmon the boys did it to SJ. I was more concerned with them than with the Canes. They can do this. One game at a time. Also Markannen cannot be blamed whatsoever.

Chris! said...

If it makes any sense to say, Carolina isn't as good as the score suggests. The Oilers were just that bad. What a humilation. I didn't think that the Oilers could make me, personally, feel so embarrassed.

This wasn't Jussi's fault. This was the worst team loss I've witnessed since the dreaded Colorado game. God, what a bunch of losers. Pull yourselves the fuck together and beat this slightly-better-than-average team.

Achtungbaby said...

Thanks for apologizing for that excuse of a anthem singer AcidQueen. All of us up here in Canada would like to apologize for Celine Dion. Really, we're sorry for unleashing that upon the world.

mordecai, go! said...

I blame it mostly on Torres.

I would lay the blame mostly on MacTavish. Having the defence pinch aggressively was a terrible idea. Even if it's nerves, over-enthusiasm, or whatever, ultimately it is MacTavish's job to get his player's heads out of their asses.

The Oil gave up way too many odd-man rushes in the 1st. I don't care if it's Markkanen, Pat Roy or Wolverine in net. You have to at least give the poor son of a bitch a chance.

By the time it was 2-0, the Oil weren't even in the game anymore.

Dave said...

The only thing missing from that game was the Benny Hill music and a guy in a gorilla suit being chased around the ice by the zamboni -- during play.

On the upside, Roloson was rocking that Napoleon Dynamite suit. "Yeah, so I was doing my eye exercises the other day when a bunch of ninjas tried to steal my gold; I injured my fricken knee fighting them off. What would you do in a situation like that?"

Desdemona said...

By the time it was 2-0, the Oil weren't even in the game anymore.

I would say it was the 3rd goal with 2.4 seconds left or the Ethan Moreau interference call made almost immediately after killing a 5-on-3.

Since the crowd threw stuff over the glass in the first game because they thought that Carolina got too many penalties, how did they reward the refs tonight for giving them a ton of power plays?

Just to be clear I don't think that the calls were bad, except tripping on Laraque (he threw a mans head into the glass, "uh... tripping...???" - you know, if you didn't see it, don't call it) and one of the holding calls on Glen Wesley, but I didn't think that the refs were bad in the first game either and they got litter on the ice.

Speaking of all of that litter, no one answered my question: In G1, an Alberta man was jailed for throwing beef on the ice, was he later joined by the litter throwers? Or was that considered acceptable because it wasn't a waste of food?

Randy in the Med Hizzo said...

Acid Queen,
You, and Don Cherry, must have been watching a different game than me because Laraques hardly looked like a Game-on hell-beater.
Weird to hear Cherry talk about how Georges should carry the puck out from behind the net more, because that's exactly what I was talking about him NOT doing three years ago. He's like the stay Puft Marshmallow man out there.
Quick ones...
Bob Cole: Ridiculous. "Uh, since I've never had to pay attention to any team other than Toronto... the Oilers will want to kill this penalty, Harry."
"Water is wet, Bob."
Anthem Singers: Wait until the AcidQueen gets a load of Paul Lorieau -- the retarded half-brother of uncle Fester -- belt out the Star Spangled Banner.
Game 3: I don't know. 12 wins in one playoff year is pretty good.

lowetide said...

Lorieau must have a mad-ass jealous thing going on. That chick in Raliegh has learned to sing flat on every note DECADES before our guy perfected it.

Oh sure he has the combover and the size 60 "Husky Fit" pants but this girl is a star.

kubiak said...

I just want to poin out that I apologized for the singer on Monday. I really hoped they'd get an actual pro to do it.

As a ever-nervous Canes fan I feel I should point out that there were a few flukey goals (really only the second would have been a routine save) and if they didn't go in this would have been a much different game. Yeah, it'd still be 1-0 or 2-0, but if it were that close at the end I think the Oil would have put on a lot more pressure, and who knows what might've happened. Jussi did a good job, there were just a few lucky breaks. (Stillman's & Weight's goals especially.)

I'm impressed with Edmonton, and they're not going to give up. The next two games are going to be vastly different in tone, and I'm really looking forward to them! I'll be in the RBC watching them on the big screen.

I'd wish you luck, but we both know I really wouldn't mean it. ;-) (That's supposed to be joke, btw. I don't want to be an assholish fan.)

mike w said...

It's been a few hours, but...

WAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Krista said...

I blame all the Oilers except Jussi. It's as if they were trying too hard offensively to take the pressure off Jussi. "The best defense is a good offense!" Pffft. It obviously backfired - all those odd-man rushes, dumb penalties and their ensuing powerplays, which were met with penalty killing uncharacteristic of the Oilers.... BLARG! I could die of disappointment.

Anonymous said...

Steve Notley at angryflower.com said:

I tried to avert my jinx wherin every game I watched the Oilers lost, but to no avail. Indeed, apparently they were creamed eight ways to Tuesday. It hurt even experiencing it only through the occasional NHL.com update and sad-yet-brilliant post-mortem on Covered In Oil.

Horror! Calamity! Deep depression, icy cloud of doubt!

And yet! I admit, I know nothing about hockey and only care but recently. But! Are not the greatest Cinderella stories and heroes' tales born from black adversity? After the tragedy of Roloson's breaking in Game 1 and the team eating their own dinks in Game 2, is not the final prize all the richer? Should we not thank the Fates for delivering to us the makings of real valor, shinging in possibility, a glory forever unwon in the world where the Oilers swept or near-swept the series? We should be grateful for these losses where is forged the true iron of victory. GO OILERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Eleanor said...

Todd Babiak believes the Oilers' loss on Monday was caused by the damage he did to the new $2,000 varnish job on his hardwood floors. Suck on that, unemployed bloggers!

http://www.canada.com/edmontonjournal/news/blog/babiak.html

I'm looking forward to his next blog entry, in which Wednesday's loss turns out to be the result of Todd catching his new $500 sweater on a nail.

Brian said...

Wow. You guys really aren't taking this well.

Plain and simple: The Canes are a much better team than the Oilers...

Anonymous said...

People aren't taking it well because the Oilers haven't been playing the type of hockey that got them where they are today.

It's like a child coming home from school with a report card full of D's when they're an A student.

The Canes aren't better and you'd be wise to not get so cocky so soon.

I agree, I was more worried about SJ than I am about the Canes. Last night's game just cemented that belief.

To pull a Selanne, the Oilers beat themselves. The better team didn't win. blah blah blah

lowetide said...

I'm constantly amazed at Hurricane fans who don't understand the game. It's 2-0 now, not 4-0, and posts like brian's only serve to angry up the blood and if this thing turns around there's going to be more hell than a little bit.

Go your best Brian, we're going to remember it and give it back in spades.

mntineer said...

Thanks for apologizing for that excuse of a anthem singer AcidQueen. All of us up here in Canada would like to apologize for Celine Dion. Really, we're sorry for unleashing that upon the world.

But they, you have Gordon Lightfoot! Yeah, I apologize about Holly too. Maybe we can get someone with some talent to sings the anthems next time around.

Anyway - Oilers blew the last game big-time, but I expect them to make a series of it. I don't think the real 'Canes fans have any doubt about what the Oilers can pull out of the hat.

Here's to a wild game 3!

DrFrankLives said...

On the game, there's nothing much else that can be said. I'm ecstatic and secretly hoping you take a game so I can see this team skate again. BUt I wouldn't be all that disappointed if it doesn't happen. We'll see. your team is much too good and too proud to fold up and die, so I expect at least two more hard-fought games.

Jussi did not play THAT badly. four of the five goals were ones that Roloson would have had trouble stopping, too. Stillman's goal was a thing of beauty.

On the anthem singer - she has a pleasant, amateur voice. Obviously untrained, but since she started singing, the boys have been winning. I can deal with stretched meter and inconsistent pitch, if it helps get us that big shiny bowl.

LittleFury said...

As usual, it was Grapes' fault. His words of praise for Laraques must have got back to MacT and made him throw the worst player in the league on the ice in a must-win game. Laraques and MAB should watch the rest of this one from the press box. There's nothing to lose now, so why not throw peterson or Harvey and Tarnstrom or Ulanov out there?

Oh and to the d-bag 'canes fans above: I hope the war goes on forever and you get drafted.

Chris! said...

You know, I think I hate Canes fans more than any other fan that's trolled this board this season.

"Man, you guys sure are sore that your team played badly. Why aren't you talking about what a great team the Canes are?"

Cram it right down your ass, Brian. I know it's a lot to ask from a fanbase that needs sexy cheerleaders to convince them that what they're watching is enough like high school football that they should care, but show some class. Do you even have a clue what you're talking about? Are you really as stupid as you sound?

Thanks to Acid Queen for attempting to run damage control, but I think real fans like you are greatly outnumbered by these cackling jackasses who are just using their boss's corporate tickets to get out of the heat.

Idiots.

Brian said...

I agree, I was more worried about SJ than I am about the Canes. Last night's game just cemented that belief.

Going down 2-0 actually made you feel better about the Oilers' chances?

You sure?

Dave said...

Hockey cheerleaders may be the dumbest addition to the game since the glowing puck. Total cheese.

DrFrankLives said...

pvjfrBrian is a Philly fan who happens to live down here now, Chris, so, before you spout off to people you might want to back the hell off and think a bit.

I look back through this thread and I see a lot of "Fuck Carolina" and very little showboating by Canes fans, except for the moron who did the muwahahahaha crap.

I write a fairly goodnatured post and some asshole teels me he hopes I get drafted.

Well, I'm 35, there is no draft, I have two kids and one on the way, and I oppose the war. BUt hey, if my country calls, I guess I'll do my duty - as long as the CBC feed is broadcast on Armed Forces Television, so I can see the Carolina Hurricanes continue to whip up on Canadian hockey clubs.

:-)

mntineer said...

Cram it right down your ass, Brian. I know it's a lot to ask from a fanbase that needs sexy cheerleaders to convince them that what they're watching is enough like high school football that they should care, but show some class.

Although I do agree that Brian should quit baiting the Oilers fans on this blog's comments, I would like to point out that the 'Canes aren't the only hockey team in the league to have cheerleaders. The Islanders have the Ice Girls, the Canucks have the Ice Team, Buffalo had the Sabrettes (or something close), and so on.

As for 'Canes fans - we're a pretty sedate bunch, so don't let a handful of trolls ruin your preception of the majority of 'Canes fans, and I'll do the same with the Oilers, who have produced a few also.

Alana said...

Who cares if Brian is from Philly? He's still part of the Canes' "fanbase" - Why should Chris "back the hell off and think a bit"?

mike w said...

I find it hilariously sad that some Canes fans celebrate by trolling Oilers blogs IMMEDIATELY after the game is over. Do these guys beat up their dogs when Eric Staal scores?

Also, if you want to troll like 13 year-olds, please visit a more suitable website like:

http://hfboards.com/forumdisplay.php?f=38

LittleFury said...

"I write a fairly goodnatured post and some asshole teels me he hopes I get drafted."

You'll notice the post was addressed to "the d-bag 'canes fans above." (read: "Brian" and "oskar") Clearly, you feel the term d-bag applies to yourself, so who am I to protest?

In any case, if you think any Oilers fans are dying for your insights right now, goodnatured or otherwise, you're sadly mistaken. You're the enemy, hoss; you and the rest of your bandwagon-hopping bretheren can take your gloating and superciliousness elsewhere.

But then, it's probably too much to ask for Carolina fans to understand what hockey means to this city, province and country, or to know how much this Finals debacle hurts.

DRZ said...

"It's probably too much to ask for Carolina fans to understand what hockey means to this city, province and country, or to know how much this Finals debacle hurts."

Poor baby! If they did "understand", what would you have them do? Send flowers? Give us backrubs while making soothing little cooing noises?

Buddy, they know we're hurting; what's the point of trolling someone who doesn't give a fuck?

If the Oilers don't come back, how many months will you use your "hurt" as an excuse to be a pissy shit?

Wah.

Go, Oilers!

LittleFury said...

"Poor baby! If they did "understand", what would you have them do? Send flowers? Give us backrubs while making soothing little cooing noises?"

Not trolling and then whining about how their trolling efforts aren't being met with showers of rose petals would be a start.

"If the Oilers don't come back, how many months will you use your "hurt" as an excuse to be a pissy shit?"

I'm a pissy shit 365 days a year, regardless of the Oilers' status. I just don't get paid five cents a word to make that information public on a weekly basis.

Doogie2K said...

Random notes:

--Carolina anthem singer: hot, cute. Fastforwarded through the anthems anyway.
--Nothing wrong with hockey cheerleaders. Long as they shut up and sit down when the game's on like everyone else.
--Hemsky driving to the net and shooting? And the rest of the team (sans Markkanen and, at times, Laraque) shits the bed? Huh?
--I would've watched the classic game, but between work and depression, I decided against it. Besides, it'll be on DVD someday. You know it.
--My faith is flagging seriously right now. I don't even know if I could take watching a third game. Like someone else said, it's like February and losing to St. Louis all over again.
--I'm inclined to agree with the Bergeron-for-Ulanov-or-Tarnstrom idea right about now.
--I'm about one more shitty period away from advocating full on BSB mode. Not that I wasn't on the G1 winner, but after this, there's almost nothing left to lose.

DRZ said...

No... you do it for free on your blog, sucka.

Mope us up a Stanley Cup, eh?

d-lee said...

Glimmer of hope: Harry Neale just suggested that Tverdosky played a shift so he could get his name engraved on the Cup.
Harry Neale is an idiot. The Canes dressed Tevvy so they could have seven defensemen available. There was some concern about whether Glen Wesley would be able to play very much after getting hurt in game one. He was fine, and Tevvy only skated a few shifts.

If he had done the tiniest bit of research, he would have known that Tevvy played in 72 regular season games for the Canes. That's 31 more than are needed to qualify for getting one's name on the Cup. 41 regular season games with the team OR one SCF game. Not both.

Achtungbaby said...

Speaking of Gordon Lightfoot... "and I won't read that book again, because they end is just to hard to take."

Achtungbaby said...

Speaking of Gordon Lightfoot... "and I won't read that book again, because they end is just to hard to take."

Dennis said...

So..I'm from NL just like Bob Cole so is it alright for me to refer to Cam Ward as "a big beltbuckle wearing Albie fuck"?

Pleasure Motors said...

Well, Cam Ward is from Sherwood Park, so it might be more accurate to call him an "SUV-driving crystal meth-head Albie fuck," but whatever finds your lost remote.

LMFAO CanesFan said...

Holy Crap..this is the best blog site I have ever seen.

'cept I happen to like our Nat'l Anthem singer. Y'all need to lighten up, it's only 2 games!

DrFrankLives said...

"But then, it's probably too much to ask for Carolina fans to understand what hockey means to this city, province and country, or to know how much this Finals debacle hurts..."

I'm sure it means a lot. I mean, what else is there to do there? Once you've had one caribou, you've pretty much been there and done that, right? Sort of loses its ilicit thrill after a while, I would think. And so the Albertans turn to hockey. Can't say I blame 'em.



(... well, you did say it was war...)

lowetide said...

Dennis, you kill me. lol. Honestly your writing has a cadence about it that is very strong. Oh jesus I'm still laughing at your Cam Ward line.

Oh no. That was good.

Achtungbaby said...

lmao Canesfans, did you mean you 'like' her or you like her singing? If it was the latter, contact me and I'll show some real singers. You obviously haven't heard a good one yet.

Anonymous said...

"But then, it's probably too much to ask for Carolina fans to understand what hockey means to this city, province and country, or to know how much this Finals debacle hurts."


How long has professional hockey been played in Carolina? Does anybody on this blog even know?

Darren Kelly said...

I thought you guys would like to see this posting about the NBC broadcast in the States tonight.

-DK

http://darrenkelly.wordpress.com/