Thursday, June 22, 2006

Micheal Bublé?

As jameso (nice template, by the way) points out in the last comments section, evidently the Oilers (and Hurricanes) have playlists up on iTunes. These playlists are amazing. I won't list them all, but here's the most surprising song on each one (in no particular order).

Shawn Horcoff: "Save a Horse (Ride a Cowboy)"- Big and Rich

Surprising mostly because his list is a mix of pop punk and power chord rock, this is either proof that a love of terrible, terrible country music is universal, or that living in Alberta, specifically Edmonton, will poison you. At least he didn't pick "Honky Tonk Badonkadonk" (I'm not making this song up, sadly).

Honourable Mention:"Gold Digger"- Kanye featuring Jamie Foxx: Fine song, but almost as inexplicable among Blink 182 and Nickelback

Matt Greene: "Take Your Mama"- Scissor Sisters

This is like Elton John without the edge, from a nouveau Village People. Seriously, it makes his addition of Hall & Oates' "Rich Girl" and The Flaming Lips' "Do You Realize??" look almost hardcore. Forever more, I will have an image of Matt Greene singing "Goodbye Yellow Brick Road" in the penalty box with star sunglasses on. I wouldn't be at all surprised if he gets pucks fired at him practice for this stuff.

Honourable Mention: "Do You Realize??": This song broke my heart and all, but I just can't picture Matt Greene punching people in the face, then telling them they have a beautiful smile.

Brad Winchester: "What You Know"-T.I.

I could forgive Kanye or something, but this is bad crunk music, and it's at the bottom of a list featuring Dave Matthews, Coldplay, wimpy Ryan Adams and Rush. Short of him somehow being friends with T.I., I cannot figure out where the hell this comes from.

Honourable Mention: "Two Step"- Dave Matthews: I'm pleasantly surprised that the Dave Matthews song he picked isn't "Crash Into Me" (making out in college dorms in the mid-90s, anyone?), though disappointed there's any Dave Matthews at all.

Ryan Smyth: TIE; "Jessie's Girl"- Rick Springfield, "Brown-Eyed Girl"- Van Morrison

I had no idea that Ryan Smyth liked to go dancing at O'Byrnes on Saturday nights. I'll bet he sings the "Ba Ba BA!" every time "Sweet Caroline" comes on.

Chris Pronger: "Without Me"- Eminem

Alan Jackson, Toby Keith, Brooks & Dunn, Eddie Rabbit, and, uh, naturally, Eminem. This reminds me of a very unfortunate incident in my youth where I ended up at Stage 13 the summer this song was incredibly popular. A bunch of jackasses in pickups who would normally be dragging rap artists behind them across the dusty dirt trails blasting this non-stop, turning it down only to tell dirt-baked 30-something women who should be alcoholics to kill the pain of living to "Show [them] your tits!" My respect for the Orbs just dropped a notch.

Honourable Mention: "Kickstart My Heart"- Motley Crüe: This isn't surprising at all, I'm just sad he wasn't here a few seasons ago, when this was the Oilers' pre-game music.

Fernando Pisani: Nothing

Seriously, if you would have told me to guess what Fernando's tastes were before this thing, I would have more or less come up with this list. Default, Pearl Jam, Foo Fighters, Eminem, Nickelback, Green Day: EH! BADA BOOM, BADA BING!

Jarret Stoll: "Killing in the Name Of"- Rage Against the Machine

The music itself is perfectly understandishable, I'm just really surprised a guy from Melville got past the ham-handed politics, never mind even found their first album. I guess I listened to Rage Against the Machine in high school, too, but nobody ever let me put it on in the dressing room, and for good reason: for pure rock sound, it's hard for this to compete with "Kickstart My Heart."

Honourable Mention: "The Dolphin's Cry"- Live: This song would kill to be "Crash Into Me"; it's the poor man's "Crash Into Me." John Mayer outwrote this damn song. For shame, Jarret Stoll: I can only assume your love-making abilities make up for your taste in make-out songs.

Dwayne Roloson: "More Than a Feeling"- Boston

"It's more than a feeling,
When I hear that old song they used to play (more than a feeling)
I begin dreaming (more than a feeling)
till I see marianne walk away
I see my marianne walkin away (cue wild guitar)."

Awesome, Roli, simply awesome.

Honourable Mention: "Lukey" and "The Old Black Rum"- Great Big Sea: Oh, Dwayne Roloson is THAT guy. At least he shied away from "The Last Saskatchewan Pirate."

Ethan Moreau: "Harvest Moon"- Neil Young

Sweet, Ethan Moreau is a Neil Young fan.

Honourable Mention: "Old School Hollywood"- System of a Down: Well, fuck, he's also a System of a Down fan.

Mike Peca: "Home"- Michael Bublé

WHAT? Forget not scoring during the regular season, he doesn't deserve $4mil a year for having Michael Bublé at the top of his list. I thought you were supposed to be a killer, Mike Peca. What the hell happened? IS FRANK SINATRA TOO BADASS FOR YOU?! HUH?! DOES HIS UNDISPUTED MANLINESS SCARE YOU INTO THE ARMS OF THIS NEUTERED JACKASS?! WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?!

Honourable Mention: "You Never Can Tell"- Chuck Berry: Evidently he is aware that music was made before the 1990s, which makes his earlier choice even more inexcusable.

Georges Laraque: "O.P.P."- Naughty by Nature

Admittedly, this isn't surprising at all, given GG's well-publicized rap fetish. It's just really ironic that, if anyone on the Oilers is down with O.P.P., it's obviously Laraque.

Honourable Mention: "Eye of the Tiger"- Survivor: This was pointed out before, but I just can't get over the mental image of Georges boxing raw meat, or possibly punching Dan Boogard, while humming this to himself.

Todd Harvey: "We're Not Gonna Take It"- Twisted Sister

Okay, again, this isn't surprising, just incredibly awesome. I remember when Twisted Sister came to Klondike Days last year, and I went solely to see them play this song (after they had refused my numerous interview requests, by the way). My girlfriend at the time and I stayed for the first song, then went to go get pineapple ice cream, figuring that, obviously, they would either play it first or save it for their finale. We ended up having to sprint back, and only caught the last few chords of the song, because they played it in the middle of their damn set. As Dee Snider explained, "Now everyone who was here to hear 'We're Not Gonna Take It' can leave, and all the real f—in' Twisted Sister fans can f—in' rock!" (it's worth noting that he actually said it "f—in'," because Dee Snider is just that much of a motherf—in' bad a). We ended up staying anyway, which was worth it only for a rousing encore of "We Wanna Rock" punctuated by a six-year-old girl sitting on her father's shoulders flashing the devil horns.

In any case, with a healthy dose of Poison, Bon Jovi, Def Leppard and Motley Crüe also on his list, I assume Todd Harvey is a real f—in' Twisted Sister fan.

Honourable Mention: "Centerfield"- John Fogerty: Really kind of inexplicable, what with no other Creedence/'70s swamp rock in site. Maybe he secretely wanted to play baseball?


Alana said...

Aw. Can Roli get any cuter?

I want to party with Todd Harvey.

Alex said...

How about Laracque including three Prodigy songs, including the classic "Smack My Bitch Up".

Chris! said...

Like you, I'm astonished by Matt Greene's choice of "Do You Realize??" but perhaps more so by Todd Harvey's predilection for John Fogerty's Centrefield, as that was pretty much my favourite album when I was ten.

"Put me in coach
I'm ready to play
*clap clap-clap*

Actually, that makes a lot of sense.

Paul O-the O stands for Sports said...

Dave, if you were referring to the Minnesota enforcer being punched by Laraque, then the name is Derek Boogaard. If not, then I'm an idiot.
Also, don't forget this gem from Cam Ward's list:

"Rockstar" (Track 9): Nickelback is one of my favourite bands.

Showerhead said...

There is far too much Nickelback in the hockey world for my liking - I guess they don't have a whole lot of time to look up non-radio artists...

LittleFury said...

I vomited a little bit of my soul everytime CBC broke out the Nickleback during the playoffs. I guess the logic went "The Oilers are from Alberta. Nickleback is from Alberta. Ergo, Nickleback+Oilers=Alberta"

And look! Cam Ward loves them! Thanks, Jesus-boy, for giving me another reason to hate you.

Eau de Chacin said...

Some other standouts:

Doug Weight is the only one with a Limp Bizkit song on his list. I miss him less and less every day.

Pronger and Madonna's "Music" - yow. I guess there's a special affinity between ageing gap-toothed superstars.

Best playlist goes to Todd if the moustache left any room for doubt.

Matt said...

Barely related: I was about 99% convinced, until the '04 playoffs, that the Flames had forever jinxed themselves when they changed the pre-game entrance music from Van Halen's Jump to Y'all Ready for This by C&C Music Factory. I'm still slightly devastated.

Eau de Chacin said...

Hey, come on now - C&C Music Factory weren't responsible for "Y'all Ready For This". That's akin to confusing Snap! for Black Box.

Matt said...


MetroGnome said...

What a great, yet oddly disturbing, post.

Andy Grabia said...

Damn it. My ITunes was on the American page. I can't believe I missed this. Talk about whiffing on a pitch in the wheelhouse.

Best Choice: Tie. Mike Commodore and "Here I Go Again" by Whitesnake, along with Todd Harvey and "The Weight" by The Band.

"Are you kidding me?" choice: Cam Ward picking "The Rising" by Springsteen. His explanation: "has become our team's 'main' song in the playoffs." Well done, Carolina. Overcoming 9/11 is the EXACT same thing as you winning a Stanly Cup.

Least surprising choice: Eric Staal and his all-country list. I am a little taken back that The Dueling Banjo theme from Deliverence isn't on his list, though.

Coolest List: Brad Winchester. Simply because he has Ryan Adams on it. Matt Greene has a solid list as well, but he is dead to me.

Andy Grabia said...

I believe you are thinking of "Get Ready For This" by 2Unlimited, Matt.

James Mirtle said...

None of these guys listen to death metal?

Julian said...

Ah Janne..... i remember reading how the rest of the team hated it when Niiiniiiimaaaa would play his death metal. I wonder how that's going over in Texas.

Big props to Greene for the Flaming Lips. You can tell he's a college boy. I'll forgive him for one and a half of the penalties he took in the playoffs.

Red Tide said...

I am with James Mirtle ^^ on this one. I cant beleive so many of these guys listen to gay fucking music. Really though, hockey is a hard hitting , fast paced game and you would think that metal (any type) would be synonymous with it. I fail to see how the much loathed Nickleback/flavour of the week and shit like "Cotton Eye Joe" can get anyone pumped about hockey.

It sickens me... Yes I'm a metal head and I know not everyone likes that kind of music. I don't expect to hear it all the games but I had thought with the intensity of the music that it would pop up somewhere in this game.

I miss seeing Janne Niinimaa and Roman Hamrlik at shows like Napalm Death and Cannibal Corpse and at local bands shows. They were cool and always supportive of us.

Colby Cosh said...

I warmed up for the games all through the playoffs with "Achilles' Last Stand" and "Killing Yourself To Live". How come I have access to better music than the players do?

Adamn! said...

So, Shawn Horcoff fancies himself a "celebrity," does he? What, you score one triple-overtime goal in the playoffs and all of a sudden you're the next Jared Leto or Rick Moranis, cramming your inept musical tastes down the collective throat of impressionable iTunes masses?

I'll stick with the advice of Nickelback themselves, if only because I'm afraid Chad Kroeger will personally kick my ass if I don't...

Doogie2K said...

"Achilles' Last Stand" being the only song from Presence worth listening to, correct? I can't fathom there being two songs with the same name, but I have to ask.

And there's really no metal? Not even, like, old-school Metallica or Ozzy-era Sabbath? God damn.

Where's this link, anyway? I can't find it.

Dennis said...

I'd almost lobby not to have Rolo back based on his love for Great Big Sea. I'm only half kidding about that. Man I hate those fucking guys and I hate all Newfie and Irish music basically.

BTW...that line about the connection between aging gap-toothed superstarts was pure fucking gold.

And if Moreau said his favorite Young tune was Cortez The Killer or Winterlong then I'd call Lowe and tell him to give him a raise

Anonymous said...

Andy Grabia, You do realize that Ryan Adams is from North Carolina. He grew up in Jacksonville, NC & used to live in Raleigh.

Just wanted to point that out.

Alex said...

Good call Grabia on Winchester's and Greene's playlists. Great college rock selections from two college kids; I imagine that they hang out a lot listening to this music and playing Madden for the XBox 360. (how do I get an invite to this party?)

Also, I'm surprised that you didn't note that Winchester picked a Rush song.

Loxy said...

No one has said much about Peca's list.

I think the Chuck Berry song is not saying that he knows music existed before 1990.. I think it says that he's seen the movie Pulp Fiction.

Black Dog Hates Skunks said...

Moreau has to retire an Oiler now - Neil Young. Whoo hoo!

As for the rest of that jibber jabber you kids are talking about - man, do I feel old.

I think I just broke my hip.

Neil said...

The Stage 13 - Eminem comment was spot on!! That was in '02, what a spectacular mess that weekend was. Every goddamn vehicle was blasting that song. Made for a great drinking game, though.

Good times, good times.

Doogie2K said...

Speaking of the Orbs, Sportsnet's suggesting that maybe he does want to go, which I find very peculiar.

Jesse said...

Lyle Richardson just posted a letter on in the Trade Rumors section that says that Sportsnet's source on that story is Al Strachen himself, and that people inside the organization don't think Pronger is going anywhere.

Andy Grabia said...

Andy Grabia, You do realize that Ryan Adams is from North Carolina. He grew up in Jacksonville, NC & used to live in Raleigh.

Have I developed an anonymous stalker? This person follows me everywhere.

What do I care where Adams is from? Am I really supposed to hate him because he is from NC? And I never would have guessed that he was from NC, by the way. Thanks for clearing that up. The album titles and the fact that I can read liner notes weren't helping me at all.

Oh, and I noticed the Rush, Abboud. I most certainly did. Do-do do-do do-do.

Doogie2K said...

Have I developed an anonymous stalker? This person follows me everywhere.

So that's who was looking for Naked Grabia.

And yeah, I trust Spector a shitload more than I trust Strachan or Sportsnet. Sadly, even TSN seems to be going for this. Time for the Orbs to step up and crush the puny rumours.