Monday, June 19, 2006

What now? What happens next?

I don't think I've ever been as nervous about a hockey game as I was this morning when I suddenly bolted awake at the ungodly hour of 10:30 a.m. (well, ungodly when you work the evening shift, anyhow) after a sweaty, fitful night of Cup-related dreams with but one, single thought on my mind: This is really happening.

Tonight, the Oilers are playing in the seventh game of the Stanley Cup finals. Tonight, somebody wins. Tonight, finality. After a playoff run that seems to have spanned generations in its harrowing vastness and rewritten every history book it kicked over along the way, the endpoint is finally in sight. If it wasn't such a terrible movie, I might feel more comfortable saying that tonight is our Event Horizon. But yeah. That shit was pretty bad. (Remember when the guy gets trapped in the airlock without a spacesuit on and actually survives jumping through space by curling into a fetal position and squeezing his eyes really tight to prevent them from exploding? That was by far the stupidest thing I've ever seen happen in a movie. And I've seen both Freaked and Cabin Boy.)

Anyhow, when I say that tonight is our event horizon, clearly I mean not that tonight is our problematic psych-horror Ghost-Ship-for-the-sweatpants-boner-set space film starring Sam Niell, but that, like it or not, we have reached our point of no return: tonight we come face to face with the boundary in space-time at which the escape velocity for a given mass has reached the speed of light, making retreat impossible. Oilers fans have been swept to this brink by the relentless tides of history, and now there is nowhere to go but forward, towards a temporarily unknowable chain of events and our emergence on the other side, into in a world in which either the 2006 Edmonton Oilers have succeeded in defying the odds, won sports' ultimate title out of sheer will and determination and completed one of the greatest sports stories of the modern age, or one in which they have not.

Normally in the case of a mass reaching event horizon, the velocity of the object will also render the observation of events impossible. Luckily for us, however, this is where the horribly laboured metaphor ends; we Oilers fans can observe just fine. In fact, all we can do is observe, to stand gape-mouthed, wide-eyed and helpless as this coin toss tumbles unpredictably through the air before coming to a rest somewhere around 10:30 p.m. tonight.

One can never reasonably write off this talented Carolina team, but based on the ebb and flow of the last two games, you have to like the Oilers. The Hurricanes have seemed tired, desperate and disorganized, where Edmonton has been focussed, determined and at times, even exceptional. But the wild card for both teams this evening, I think, will be the zealousness of the refereeing. Both powerplays have proven capable of destroying the opposition, and no matter what happens, you can bet your mortgage on the fact that the losing team will flag some ridiculous call as the Delilah to their Samson. But in the retrospective clarity of a final result, this will be pointless. To whomever wins the Cup, it will seem as though this point could have been reached in no other way.

So what now? What happens next? I can barely contain myself to find out.



mike w said...

You had hockey dreams, too, huh?

I keep telling myself that if they lose there's still a lot to celebrate and I'll try to not be depressed watching that craggly Rod "the bod" bastard lift the Cup. I can't even entertain the other possible outcome, of course. Just no overtime please, my mind can't take it.

gary b said...

Brothers and Sisters:

This is it.
Tonight is the night.

One way or the other, it ends in tears.
Here's to tears of Joy, and a lot of grown men (and ladies) bawlin' their eyes out.


Black Dog Hates Skunks said...

Chris! Its McCreary and Watson, the same guys who did G6. At least its not the whistle happy duo of McGeough and Devorski.

Stress started yesterday after waking up from the biggest bender I have been on in quite a while.

Son is teething violently so no Paupers for me tonight. My wife is going to be going to bed when I get home from work.

Hopefully it won't be both the boy and I who are redfaced and in tears @ midnight.


Alana said...

Sooo...Where are we watching the game?

namflashback said...

I liked the calls on Saturday (lots on the retaliator). At any rate, the Oil better keep their sticks in check and use shoulders not forearms.

The Oil will situationally:
win 5-5
match on the PP
will threaten on the PK
score a 4-4 goal

The result will not be clear with 5 minutes to go.

This will be one of the most exciting SCF's in the past 16 years.

Anonymous said...

I keep telling myself a grown man does not giggle giddily in anticipation. It doesn't seem to help.

James Mirtle said...

Just don't be the '94 Canucks... man that was devastating.

LAlovesdogs said...

This. Is. It. I haven't been this excited since May 31st, 1987, when the Oilers took it to the Flyers in Game 7 in what was one of the most breathtaking Finals EVER. (OK, Messier and the Rangers in '94 was pretty exciting too, sorry Canucks fans). I skipped class to watch hockey that fabulous day in 1987, and I just called in sick to work. Not too bad for an American gal, eh? (who says only Canadian guys like hockey?!??) GOILERS!! PS. I HATE Rod Brind'Amour.

Sean said...

I think that about sums up how we're all feeling. Except for your criticism of Event Horizon. I fucking loved that movie.

Anonymous said...

Two destinies are about to collide, leaving either a world of darkness and despair where our overlord eats puppies and children's dreams, or the dawn of a beautiful new era of Oiler Hockey Hegemony where peace will reign upon the face of the earth once more like, offering a balm to all our ills like the first drops of rain on a starved, parched landscape.

Dave said...

Yeah, except for that silly airlock part, Event Horizon rocks socks.

Got an Oilers T for my b-day today. If any of the team are reading this, I think you all know what you can get me tonight. I don't even need a card with it.

And I can't even pretend to be remotely interested in work today. Butterflies? Hell, I feel like Joey Moss is singing the anthem in my stomach.


Chris! said...

For all interested, we'll be watching the game at Rowers Pub at 150 Harbord St. tonight. Seating is limited, but it's also off the beaten path and won't be too busy. Rad?

Anonymous said...

thank you all that ain't evil for mccreary and watson, or if that seems premature, to be thankin' 2 refs in advance for not suckin' ass, then to hell with mcgeough and devorski. you 2 don't belong in the finals tryin' to keep up, and makin' up calls when they can't keep up. just gettin ready to do my radio show here at CJSR and tryin' to imagin' what i'm gonna say over the air that goes beyond "GOILERS", "WHOOO", and other such nonsense, which is all that is in my brain currently. well, i've said it before and now one last time



Dave said...

Switch it up and yell: "Let's Oil Goers!"

TigerCheeks said...

Anyone watching the game in Vancouver? D*mn job...

Alana said...

Apparently I was talking in my sleep about hockey on Saturday night. As in, I had a full-on conversation with Dave about hockey. While sleeping. GOILERS!

Anonymous said...

wow everyone's having hockey dreams huh?

i dreamt the canes won 7-4 in game on dreams, get in synch with reality a lil would ya?

Todd said...

A Canes fan just saying thanks for enjoyable reading over this series...I have enjoyed the blog and appreciate the passion you guys have for the Oilers. Chris, that's a great post...pretty much sums it up for us too. Well I would say good luck tonight but that would be I will say may the sun rise the same for the vanquished tomorrow...whoever the vanquished is. Met several guys from your area at the RBC (games 2 and 5) and do appreciate the Oilers tradition...hope we can build the same here.

P.S. Why not show Capt. Rod a little more love?? He's a workhorse and, with the exception of this little hiatus he's taken for the last 2 games, he's gotten the job done for us all year.

bluebloodrunsthick said...

Our season hangs in the balance and for some reason i'm way less anxious about this game than any other in the playoffs so far. Maybe it's because of how dominant they were last game and how Carolina was flat and a step behind us.

The way the Oil has responded and fought through adversity this whole run makes this all that more special. This would be one of the most remarkable comebacks in sports history nevermind hockey history and would prove that the Oil of 2006 is the most resilient team in NHL history. I've been watching hockey and following the Oil since 84 and I've never seen this much heart, grit and determination on one team as on this run.

I'll be watching at a buddy's with the boys close to Jasper. Afterwards when they win I dare not step foot on Jasper nevermind Whyte after what happened Saturday night. I was assaulted by a cop for jumping up and tapping a lightpost with my hand. I filed a complaint with EPS this morning and a detective with internal affairs is investigating the cop for wrongful conduct. Hope he gets shit on. If not, I'm probably suing and I have 4 witnesses and also it was on A-Channel in Edmonton.

Anyways, had to take a week's vacation time off work to recover from the big bruise and cut on my head. I work at a financial planning firm and see clients everyday so there's no way I could make it in to the office today. Fuck I hate the EPS. And oh yea...


Randy in the Med Hizzuh said...

May the Oilers have the robotic determination of a Robo-Cop, yet the indomitable spirit of a Murphy. I hope you poor long-suffering bastards go from pathetic to overbearing tonight. Huzzah!

James Mirtle said...

For all interested, we'll be watching the game at Rowers Pub at 150 Harbord St. tonight. Seating is limited, but it's also off the beaten path and won't be too busy. Rad?

A change in venue! How... risky.

I'll be down somewhere on the Esplanade, likely Scotland Yard, as that sounds like the least hockey-like place known to man.

mudcrutch79 said...

Jesus're practically part of the Oilogosphere at this point. Rowers it up.

James Mirtle said...

Wanted to make it. Turns out Rowers looks like the least wheelchair-accessible bar (for my friend, not me) that was available which means I cannot attend.

mudcrutch79 said...

Bummer. We're going to riot on the corner of Bloor and Spadina I think post-game-if you want to light cars on fire, come on out.

Coluch said...

My house for a screening of "Event Horizon" followed by the game at 8?

Also Chris!, I can't believe you didn't use the famous quote from that movie "Liberate tutemae ex inferis" the proverbial hidden message that they found on the ship.

Save Yourself From Hell, Carolina.