Thursday, December 28, 2006

Kings in name only

Los Angeles (13-20-5) at
Edmonton (18-15- 2)
7 p.m. MT, Sportsnet

HI! So how about them Oilers, huh? No, seriously, how are they. It's been a while since I've paid attention to everyone's favourite near-impossible-to-follow-outside-of-Edmonton's-city-limits hockey squad, and I'm loathe to admit that I'm shamefully behind the curve. So: everything's going awesome, right? We still in third place in the West? Smytty still on pace for 40+ goals? Is Fernando "Dave Lowry" Pisani pitching in reliable secondary scoring by the bucketful? Hemsky and Sykora still in the top 20 in scoring?

Oh. I see. Oh. Shit.

Well, at least tonight might bring some good news, as the Oilers try for Franchise Win No. 1000 tonight in our first meeting of four against the perennially hapless Kings. They may have their fancy Slovenian ape-man Anze Kopitar and his high-falutin' 33 points, but dammit, we've got history on our side, and history says we beat the Kings. Edmonton won last year's four-game series handily, going 3-1 while outscoring L.A. by a margin of 16-9, and that was with a clutch of retarded raccoons wearing goalie pads stuffed in our nets. Add to that the fact that the Kings are coing in having won just one of their last five games, and tonight seems to have gimme written all over it — at least, it would if we were at all capable of consistently beating shitty teams.

Anyhow, I won't pretend to know what I'm talking about, but it's high time I got back in the habit. You know, in a non-Sister Act 2 sort of way.

6-1 Oilers, with goals from Hemsky, Torres, Beranek, and a Falloon hat trick. Horcoff gets two disallowed.


Anonymous said...

There is no way the Kings keep BOTH Zdeno Ciger and Petr Klima off the scoresheet with a 3rd string goalie in net.

uni said...

I hear that kid Kilger is a monster.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, with Stephane Fiset out, we're going to tear Berthiaume apart!


sacamano said...

You know, I've never really looked at the Kings logo very closely before; but now that you've blown it up for me, I can see that it is actually pretty cool.

This surprises me greatly.

Garnet said...

Yes, if nothing else, during this dark period for Kings hockey at least the team finally _looks_ right. Love the coat of arms on the front of the jersey, and the purple and black colour scheme is the best they've ever had. Now, to find some players.