Monday, December 18, 2006

An open letter to NHL owners...

Please, no. Not Frank D'Angelo.

Do you really want to see this blathering, hair-plugged egomaniac at your next Board of Governor's meeting? I assure you that this dink will become the next Bernie and Lonnie Glieberman, embarrassing the league with Ben Johnson "I Cheetah All of the Time" theme nights or perhaps introducing Steelback Lady Dancers in the aisles. I mean, dudes,
even the CFL didn't want this guy.

I hear NBA owner/dot com billionaire Mark Cuban has "renewed interested" in making a bid for the team. Pick him. If the league is going to turn things around in the US, who do you think is a better candidate? (hint: it's not the turkeyballs pictured above, to the right)

And isn't Gary Bettman's renewed interest in keeping teams in their original markets absolutely touching? Of course, in the 1990s when Winnipeg, Quebec, Calgary and Edmonton either moved to the US or looked like they might, these were the "market force realities" of the new NHL. God forbid, a Canadian in 2006 buys the team and moves them north of the border. Ha!

(Actually, I'm kind of kidding. Pittsburgh has had problems, but they at least have some of the ingredients for turning the team around: budding superstars, some history, and likely a cozy new deal on a privately funded arena).


I guess the Kitchener-Waterloo Penguins will have to wait another couple of years for a team like the Florida Panthers to be put up for sale.

12 comments:

The Puck Stops Here said...

I don't think Frank D'Angelo is a serious candidate. The Pens are in a desperate situation. The Isle of Capri decision is Wednesday and their likely owner pulled out. They need somebody to parade as a potential owner. D'Angelo never actually has to buy the team and he can fade away when somebody legit is found. He is just a convenient guy when the NHL needed somebody to speak for Pittsburgh.

mike w said...

you promise?

young d said...

So a shameless self-promoter (I mean he puts himself in his own tacky ads) gets his name and picture mentioned over and over to the hockey-loving, beer drinking set just by announcing his intention to buy a hockey team.
He's already gotten what he really wanted.
Attention. And thousands in free advertising.

Anonymous said...

Can we expect a bid from Phil of Phil's Used Nails?
The last six letters of my word verification are CSIraq. Honest.
"Ahmoud, did we get the samples back from the lab yet?"
"The toxicology report shows the victim had an IED shoved so far up his rectum it came out his left nostril."
"But were you able to lift any prints?"

Elly said...

The Pens are going through some dark times right now, and while they have before (holy crap, have they), it's a scary idea that they might be pulled from Pittsburgh. D'Angelo has said the magic words to get his foot in the door with Pittsburgh fans: He wants the team to stay in Pittsburgh. Of course, he can make a fortune off of naming rights (Steelback Center has a nice ring to it), and promote his beer at obnoxious prices, but the Pens would still be where they belong, in Pittsburgh. He may not be the best choice (and I may be ill if I see dancers in the aisles), but if the arena deal falls through, we may be forced to take what we can get.

Of course, if the Isle of Capri gets the slots license, then Pens fans can take a little breather and let some of the pressure roll off our backs.

Graham said...

when I was living in Toronto, I never saw Steelback beer (or any of its derivatives) anywhere, not in bars or beer stores. Has anyone actually drank it?

Jameso said...

Oh, jesus, I have. And I regret it. It really does come in plastic, screw-top bottles, and it really is as bad as you think. Used to be able to find it in any beer store in Kingston, and a few in Toronto.

mike w said...

Oh, wait. They didn't get the Casino. Poor Pittsburgh.

joninabox said...

PM and company, stop spending so much time at Savoy and make some posts! The Oilers lose 7-6 and no witty post decrying the cruelty of the hockey gods? Bah.

Jim said...

I miss this blog. :(

Colby Cosh said...

D'Angelo is obviously a marketing genius. After all, it's not like Pennsylvanians are infamously stubborn to the point of fanaticism about their favourite local beers or anything. A simple arena-naming-rights deal should have everyone switching from Yuengling and Rolling Rock to Steelback Tango in a fucking heartbeat.

The Puck Stops Here said...

The fact that the Pittsburgh Penguins are now officially "off the market" without even waiting to see if Frank D'Angelo makes an interesting bid shows they don' consider him a serious candidate to buy the team.