Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Gentlemen, start your doubling over in pain, clutching your groins

Oilers at Wild
6pm, Sportsnet, Ched
Relative Humidity: 46%

Not to be too negative about the Oilers prospects, or anything, but I am just not looking forward to this game at all.

I guess we haven't even played all that badly in the last few games, though we sure are settling that good forwards vs good defence debate kicking around BoA at the beginning of the year: turns out scoring is pretty hard when you spend most of your time getting tooled in your own end. Manny Fernadez is also apparently the Marquis of Save Percentage lately, going a fairly ridiculous .939 over the past four, which is great, considering scoring is something we've decided to do every second week, or something.

I'd like to say that there are some positives going into this game, but I really can't see any, though that's probably because I'm in the moody, emo teenage years phase of Oilers devotion right now, the kind where you draw little dotted lines across your wrist that say "Cut Here For Legitimate Number One Defenceman" above them and whine about how nobody really loves Joffrey Lupul. Really, I suspect my feelings towards the Oilers are going to say on the negative side of the Happy Times register until Lowe makes some sort of trade, or we start pulling wins out of our ass despite our obvious deficiencies. (I'm not picky, I'll happily take undeserved wins.)

Before I go, though, I will say this: 45 games into the season, Jussi Markkanen has started exactly six, and our current position in the standings probably won't change that trend . His numbers aren't spectacular, but it's a pretty low sample size. Anyway, on the off chance we do fall ass backwards into the playoffs (again), it's a good thing our team-carrying, 37-year-old number one who has never played in, never mind started, more than 50 games in his career will be completely worn down.

Now pardon me while I go listen to Panic! At the Disco and play with my Nightmare Before Christmas posable action figures.

Prediction: Oilers win 1-0 on another goal from Jan Hejda. My threats to swallow all the pills in the bathroom are widely recognized as nothing more than pitiful attention-getting, as I have no medicine of any kind in my cupboard, and I live alone.

PS The Sacamano picture is partially to suggest "Wild" and partially to celebrate my victory in the first round of the Hot-Off.


sacamano said...

Fantastic -- this clearly indicates that I have the liberty to post your nude photo everytime I want to present connotations of:

Our exposed defense
Our stripped down offense
Our ineptitudes revealed
The facts laid bare
The naked truth
Our unadorned trophy cabinet
Our barren win column
Our flabby first passes

This is going to be fun -- I may have to get back to some sort of regular posting gig just to put these things in action.

Pleasure Motors said...

Flabby! I, oh--uh. Damn.