Monday, January 29, 2007

Some witty trade-related headline that doesn't use the word "wind"

The first major-ish move of the 2006-07 comes courtesy of the Calgary Flames, who TSN reports have traded Jamie Lundmark, a fourth-round pick in 2007 and a second in 2008 to the L.A. Kings for Craig Conroy. Conroy's having a dismal year with the Kings (16 points, minus-13 in 52 games) but it's still a pretty good move, I think. Lundmark, a former ninth-overall pick in 1999, has failed to produce his alleged scoring talents for two clubs now and I can't see why it wouldn't be more of the same in L.A. And Conroy will obviously bring more to the table in terms of depth. If Conroy can regain the form he showed in his solid 05-06 campaign (22-44-66, +13), the Flames will be laughing.

… And speaking of comedy, check out TSN.ca's front page for this story from the Toronto Star, which suggests both the Flames and Oilers are sniffing around Darcy Tucker — you know, because everybody knows he's so fucking great and my god what kind of team wouldn't want him. While the Flames end of things might make sense, there's no goddamned way the Oilers should be even thinking about adding a UFA forward. Not with our problems being so obviously on the other end of the rink.

While I assume this is bunk, I swear to god: if this rumour has even an inkling of truth to it, I'm going to steal a car, drive to Kevin Lowe's house and throw him directly into the centre of the sun. Then I'm going to use his e-mail account to offer the Kings whatever they want in exchange for Lubomir Visnovsky.

17 comments:

mike w said...

Is there any player I hate more than Darcy Tucker?

My mind is telling me "no."

Good deal for Calgary. I always liked that Conroy fellow, and I'm sure he'll have an easier time being reunited with Jarome Iginla.

Et tu, Kevin Lowe?

Anonymous said...

The Shayne Corson Experience wasn't bad enough? Now we need his cousin or brother-in-law or drinking buddy, or however they're related?

Scarlett said...

Is Lowe that stupid? I'm scared of that answer.

Tucker? Yeah he's an ass, but isn't he injured right now too (do we even know when he'll be back)? Plus why would the Oil give up anyone for this rat, who is a free agent at the end of the year and has repeatedly stated his love of the Leafs and only the Leafs. We went through this with Peckerhead last year.

mike w said...

Indeed, there are a lot of similarities between Peca and Tucker, especially when it comes to their enormous self-regard.

I'm pretty sure that Tucker doesn't want to move out West, and from the not-so-subtle hints Peca has dropped about his experience in Edmonton, I'm sure he's painted a pretty picture for his teammates.

If we get Tucker, I may have to burn my Oil silks, put a pipe cleaner down my dink hole and then blow up the blog.

PS: I have a Toronto friend that named her cat after Darcy Tucker, and the cat is a fucking jerk. Coincidence?

Jim said...

I'm pretty sure that Tucker doesn't want to move out West, and from the not-so-subtle hints Peca has dropped about his experience in Edmonton, I'm sure he's painted a pretty picture for his teammates.

Post-trade? What sort of hints? I have to admit, I have barely followed Peca's media coverage after he signed on with Toronto.

Doogie said...

If we get Tucker, I may have to burn my Oil silks, put a pipe cleaner down my dink hole and then blow up the blog.

Don't blow up the blog, if only so we can still periodically see lines like this. My fucking God.

mike w said...

>Post-trade? What sort of hints?

Well, when he was here the dude kept talking about how he found it hard for his family to "adjust" to Edmonton, the city. He also started talking about leaving the team in December, after only a few months on the team.

In a local Toronto broadcast this year, he was asked about how Edmonton fans in the playoffs, and he gave an exasperated, unironic "they're nuts" kind of look.

May not seem like much -- but I think the proof is in the pudding.

Andy Grabia said...

Is there any player I hate more than Darcy Tucker?

My mind is telling me "no."


You are forgetting Chris Chelios, obviously.

Andy Grabia said...

Scott Howson was scouting the Flyers game on Saturday, as well. Probably still looking at Pitkanen.

Jim said...

I'm surprised that no one's mentioned the idea that Tucker is meant as a replacement for a departing Ryan Smyth.

What a crap-ass trade-off that would be.

And I wonder where the hell Castor, Alberta is.

Duke of Spook said...

You guys are lucky to even be mentioned in the Darcy Tucker sweepstakes. The city will shed tears of blue and white the day he departs, with suitcases full of hard work and determination. If you're lucky enough to get him, a ray of aggressive sunshine will be cast into the otherwise grey Edmonton sky.

Andy Grabia said...

I'm putting it out there right now: if we pick up Tucker, I may never cheer for the Oilers again. That's how much I hate that guy.

Mr DeBakey said...

where the hell Castor, Alberta

I don't know,
But I think they have Oil there.

Art Vandelay said...

How hard does a guy have to work to tap in the cross-crease feeds from Sundin on the PP, and go minus 9 at even strength (or wherever *ucker's +/- sits as of tonight)?

Anonymous said...

Darcy Mothertucker.

No fucking way.

Duke

cynical joe said...

I'd love to see the Oilers get Tucker, then my hatred of the Oilers can go from red-hot to white-hot, and the Oil will nudge out in front of the Dallas Cowboys as the most hated team in North America not named NY Yankees.

alan said...

where the hell Castor, Alberta

C'mon. It's the home of the Castor Raiders, one of the best team sports names ever.