Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Dear Kevin Lowe...

A collection of reaction from around the Internet to the news that Mr Heart and Soul is now Mr Alexei Yashin's left-winger.

"The FUCKING ISLANDERS!!!! For who? Garth Snow?
Fucking FUCK!!!!!!!!
" -the drizzler, a few posts apart on the BoA comment string that will never die

"The tables have turned, an islanders GM is now making our's look like a fool" - mvprimate, hfboards

"Kiss the playoffs goodbye for another 2 years. I'm sick of this." - hockeyplayer01, Oilfans

Lowe may not make it out of Rexall alive tonight." -skoobz2001, Oilfans

"No excuses this time. Lowe f**ked up. Large"-the normally loquacious Dennis, over at MC79

I hate you lowe (sic)" -HemskyFreak83, hfboards

Getting loaded drunk tonight. " -BDHS, BoA comments

Simple, elegant, depressed. The Oilers fans I know and love are back.

"Break out the flannel and Nirvana cassettes, kids: it's 1993 in Oilerville all over again." - J Franchuk, lover, friend, Risk player, via e-mail

Particularly poignant.

"Well that should remove all doubt that Edmonton management is cheap. Maybe Comrie was right all along. Fuck you Muckler." -dc in yow, BoA comments

You know a deal is bad when fans start ragging on past Oil management. Anyway, indeed, fuck Muckler right in his fucking face. Burnett, too.

"this deal only works if the prospects pan out. A big if, and if they do, we can expect the cheap cunts at the EIG to let them walk at the earliest opportunity." -littlefury, BoA comments

Littlefury might have to consider upgrading his screen name.

"If Lowe gets Smyth back as a UFA this summer, this move is genius. If he doesn't, he didn't get enough." -Mark Spector, National Post

"Perhaps they have a gentleman's agreement that they meet his trade demands only if he is rented out for the rest of the season (saves some money and they get a few great prospects back in return). Could it be or is this wishful thinking?" - anonymous commentor on Chris!'s post

The five stages of Oiler fan grief:
1. Denial: TSN must have the wrong Smith. Kevin Lowe did not trade Ryan Smyth for prospects and a pick. Gord Miller is stupid.
3. Delusions of Grandeur: Lowe didn't actually just give away our franchise player for prospects after dumping money on flash-in-the-playoffs role players earlier this year, it's all part of his master plan to get things for Smyth then sign him again. Why, I bet the old dog is also working on signing Sheldon Souray and Andrei Markov for $2mil a piece this summer, and trading Matt Greene and Joffrey Lupul for Sidney Crosby. You clever devil, Kevin Lowe. Start planning the 2008 Cup parade, boys.
4. Depression: Edmonton is never again going to sign/resign a UFA player who scored more than 40 points last season for as long as am I'm alive.
5. More Depression: We better fucking learn how to draft and develop people. Oh, wait, we still don't have an AHL team. Sigh.

"Unfortunately it doesnt seem like Smyth will be back next year but I do see Lowe spending a lot on UFA's this summer" - Jaz, hfboards

Right, just like he did this summer. And the one before that. The one thing I haven't seen mentioned in all the trade talk, from either the pro or con side: Smyth was an expensive UFA, sure, but he was one who wanted to play in Edmonton, which would make him about the only one of those in the NHL up until he got traded.

"Thank you Kevin Lowe for trying to get a fair deal done as long as possible. Thanks for not letting a key player getting away for nothing." -RSN2004, Oilfans

Edmonton fans can officially no longer accuse Calgary fans of drinking management Kool-Aid. How long before our infrastructure money is building Robert Nilsson a dressing room stall, again?

"If Smyth really wanted to stay in Edmonton, he would have taken $20 over 5 years. Any player that forces a trade because he wants to test the free agent market can't use family as an excuse. How much money does his family need?" -Hibernia, Oilfans


Speaking of which, what's Kevin Lowe's salary?

"While on the one hand some Oilers fans might be distressed that this trade was made today, I want those same fans to be assured that the Oilers will use these excellent young players and our own deep pool of young talent in a new plan for this team." - Patrick Laforge, to TSN

How do you spell "rebuilding less than one year after missing the Cup by one game"? F-I-R-E K-E-V-I-N L-O-W-E. Alternatively, N-O M-O-R-E N-E-P-O-T-I-S-M.

Anyway, though, this is my favourite comment on the whole debacle, and it came yesterday:

"Oh shit. We're doomed. The latest from Eklund: 'Rumor: Ryan Smyth Very Close to Signing'"- mike w, comments in his post from yesterday.

I have a second favourite comment, this one from hfboards. The whole post is a thing of beauty, really, and I recommend reading it here (scroll down to s7ark). In the middle of an immensely elaborate theory involving trade-and-sign deal outlined above, he drops this nugget:

"So [Lowe] picks a team with a rookie GM known for some boneheaded moves and makes him an offer. He doesn't rip him off because Lowe is a politician and has his eye on Bettman's chair eventually (hence no Okposo)." -s7ark, hfboards

There's drinking Kool Aid, and then there's drinking semen. Wow.

Also, Matt's take at BoA is well worth a read, if not directly quotable. My general thoughts exactly.


Andy Grabia said...

You have a few to choose from on our site.

Pleasure Motors said...

I'm still going through those. Jesus, 270+ comments...

Anonymous said...

Would it be harsh enough to say that Lowe is a stupid fuck-tard? After sending Mess' jersey to the rafters tonight, maybe the Moose could squeeze out a juicy turd at center ice for us... the turd's leadership will get the Oil into the playoffs!!! Betchya the Sabres win the cup and we're forced to watch Conklin lift it up.

Oil Fan in Winnipeg

Pleasure Motors said...

Betchya the Sabres win the cup and we're forced to watch Conklin lift it up

Oh, man, I hadn't even thought of that possibility until now. If that happens, I think I'm done watching hockey.

Coluch said...

A gargantuan plunge of almost 200 points in the Dow that occurred around 3 p.m. Eastern time was likely triggered by so-called NHL trading, in which people feel suddenly depressed when awesome players go to crappy teams.

the official press explanation:
"A gargantuan plunge of almost 200 points in the Dow that occurred around 3 p.m. Eastern time was likely triggered by so-called program trading, in which computers are set to automatically sell when prices reach a certain point, experts said."

But we know why it really happened.

Eyeris said...

Betchya the Sabres win the cup and we're forced to watch Conklin lift it up.

Way to make this depressing day even worse. I'm going to bite off somebody's nose if that happens. Even if I'm not on Whyte at the time.

Coluch said...

Hey, what if the Isle squeak into an 8th place finish and win the cup with Smytty?

Wouldn't that just be the knife in the chest moment..

Tyler said...

I was surprised to learn that there was a post on my site. I gave my man Dennis the keys and never even thought that there'd be something there today.

mike w said...

>Wouldn't that just be the knife in the chest moment..

Ah well, I could cheer for that.

mike w said...

Also, nice PhotoShop job, Pleasure Motors!

Kyle said...

If you want a rant you should check out my post today. I'm totally disgusted and disillusioned.

Anonymous said...

I wouldn't worry about not having a farm team; KLo is working diligently to turn the Oilers into an AHL juggernaut!

Anonymous said...

the whole tightass EIG can go fucking fist themselves. I'd better not hear the words 'small market' for the next 2 lifetimes. Money sits on trees in northern AB.. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

mike w said...

>"Getting loaded drunk tonight. " -BDHS

But he says that every night. Then again, it's been a long season.

Anonymous said...

Fuck you kevin lowe u moron prospects!! fuckn prospects what the fuck does that mean fuck u!!