Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Edmonton Oilers: The Movie

This post is may be skirting on Hot Oil territory, but I had to do something while waiting for my perogies to boil, so whatever (when I look back at what I did with my twenties, I may have to shake my head with utter regret). Anyway...

Colby Cosh's joked about a Louis-Ferdinand Celine scree
nplay for the Oilers' season, and it got me thinking about who would star in Edmonton Oilers: The Movie. After some actor doppelganger searching, I came across a recent Oilfans thread about the same topic, and some of them were so good (especially Horcoff) I had to rip them off. (Although I still claim credit for Hemsky, Schremp and Reasoner). Unfortunately, I couldn't find a decent MacT (Lee Majors?).

In his film debut, Chad Kroeger as Ryan Smyth.

The dude from Goonies as Shawn Horcoff.

A small, fair-haired child as Ales Hemsky.

Shaggy from Scooby Doo as the lovable Daniel Tjarnqvist.

Keanu Reeves, sporting a cocked eyebrow for the entire movie, as Ethan Moreau.

Viggo Mortensen as batshit Defenceman Jason Smith

Karate Kid's Chad McQueen as Raffi Torres, the LW struggling to regain his self-esteem.

Peter Saarsgard as the hothead rookie, Robbie Schremp.

Annnd... last but not least, Hilary Swank as Marty Reasoner, the hockey
player with a special secret!

17 comments:

Andy Grabia said...

Dude,

Don't forget Chad McQueen as Raffi Torres. Watch The Karate Kid over again. EXACT SAME GUY.

An Ryan Smyth has to be played by Mick Foley.

Andy Grabia said...

Sorry. This link might work better.

mike w said...

Damn. That is good. Consider it added.

Anonymous said...

Ted Danson as Mac T?

http://tv.zap2it.com/tveditorial/tve_main/1,1002,271%7C85818%7C1%7C,00.html

-Leriger

Loxy said...

Mmm... Hilary Sw.. wait a second.

Colby Cosh said...

I always figured Rob Lowe would be perfect as the smarmy, in-over-his-head special teams coach. As a bonus, we know he can skate.

sacamano said...

When my wife first moved to Edmonton she thought it was the funniest thing that you could order pyrogies at Oilers Games. Now that we have moved out of the Ukranian Heartland of Hockey, however, she is missing those lovable little anti-atkins carb blasts.

Steph said...

...wait you can really order pierogi at Oilers games? Why on earth don't the Red Wings do that?

(PS that Hilary Swank resemblance is a little disturbing.)

Andy Grabia said...

They don't call this place Edmonchuk for no reason.

pete said...

batshit, crazy-eyed, sunken-jowled Vincent Gallo as Jason Smith -- not Viggo.

That is all

Anonymous said...

I don't like the Chad Kroeger as Smytty thing. Chad could never come across as a decent guy.

I'd even go for the Mick Foley thing before Kroeger.

Although...if you look up the guy who played Danny Amatulo on Fame - particularly in season 1 and 2.... his name is Carlo Imperato. Check it out...

Good stuff though! This was funny.

Showerhead said...

I have suggested Viggo as Jason before and am glad to see someone else likes that one... also, I've always kind of seen the stoned guy from Fast Times at Ridgemont high to resemble Ryan Smyth - I suspect the weed helps his hand-eye or something...

case said...

DATA and SMID are coincidentally four letters each. mr.nedved has the fragility of mr.burns.

Jorge said...

We did the same thing when the Flames went on their run. Sadly, all we could come up with definitively was:

Martin Gelinas - Dennis Quaid

Anonymous said...

http://imdb.com/gallery/ss/0302585/fubar_new_3.jpg.html?path=gallery&path_key=0302585&seq=13

smyth on the left

Anonymous said...

For a similar take on tv/athlete go to a blog called indeed, indeed. Feb. 5th (page 4)
It's the NBA v. The Wire
and it's hilarious, assuming you have a passing/vested interest in either/or.
fucked if I know how to provide you w/ a link, but it's worth the 5 sec. it'll take you to find.

Dave said...

Hilarious post. I'd cast Owen Wilson as comical fuck-up Matt Greene.

Also, I think Melissa Etheridge could pull off a pretty decent Roloson.