Friday, February 2, 2007

Rod Phillips: "Ice Finger roofs it on Kari Takko, glove side!"

Looks like the CinO boys have been tagged in what is the blogger equivalent of a chain letter --this time for "If I were a NHL Hockey Player." Aside from eating a granola bar in my pajamas, I have nothing better to do (unlike NHL me, pictured right, winning the Lady Byng trophy), so here it goes:

Team: Edmonton Oilers
Uniform Number: 44 (I always wear it -- nothing to do with Chris Pronger).
Position: Centre
Nickname: Winners, Winty… um, what else? Snowman, Ice Finger, Tiger Tits, The Kaiser, Turkey Balls, Lord Tweedsmuir, The Brow, 88 Keys, Flat Top, Ribs Mocco.
Dream Linemates: Petr Klima at LW, Blair MacDonald at RW.
Rounding out the PP: Paul Coffey and Boris “Bobo” Mironov.
Job: Floater, extremely averse to skating up the middle because I don’t want to get hurt.
Signature Move: Not being able to stop and crashing into the legs of opponents.
Strengths: Passing, bringing a general sense of “classiness” to the bench.
Weaknessess: Skating backwards.
Injury Problems? My traps, delts, and lats sometimes are sore from “bringing it” at the gym.
Equipment: Mike Foligno styled helmet, Cooperalls, Gretzky’s Titan 2020 hockey stick from the 1980s.
Nemesis: Tim Hunter and Darcy Tucker
Scandal Involvement: Illegal betting ring/humping Janet Gretzky
Who I'd face in the Stanley Cup Finals: I’m trying not to worry about that. I just have to focus on being prepared and giving 110 per cent.
What I'd do with the Stanley Cup after our victory: Fill it with medical supplies and be greeted in war-torn Sudan like a goddamn hero.
Would the media love me or hate me? They’d hate me because I’d sneak into Rogers Sportsnet Studios and, on live TV, sneak up behind Mike Brophy and give him a sleeper hold until he died. Then I’d look at Jason Portuondo and go, “What!? What are YOU looking at, motherfucker?”

I tag Black Dog and D-Lee, if they haven't been tagged already (and are man enough for the challenge).


Black Dog said...

You be on.

Black Dog said...

You be on.

Jordi said...

And I thought no one would pay attention to it!

"classiness" to the bench? What does that involve? Putting a tie over your jersey?

d-lee said...

I've completed the task and tagged up. Thanks