Thursday, March 22, 2007

The Cherepanov Push: 70 points or bust

Through Friday

Goddamn Oilers can't even lose correctly. If you're going to break the stupid streak, don't do it against the team fighting the Flames for the last playoff spot. Actually, why did you even break the stupid streak: number 2 overall, fools! That's all that's left to fight for! And when the Jackets were getting so close to overtaking us. Thanks for nothing, Lupul: how do you expect us to celebrate your goals when we can't even get into the playoffs?

Here's a look at the record each team needs to pass the Oilers in the standings and (essentially) guarantee us the number one overall pick.

Oilers - 69 points

  1. Columbus - 1-6-1
  2. LA - 2-5-0
  3. Washington - 2-4-1
  4. Chicag0 - 3-4-1
  5. Phoenix - 4-4-0
  6. Philadelphia - CAN'T PASS A TEAM PLAYING DANNY SYVRET 25 MINUTES A NIGHT
What is this? Combining the awesome powers of Chris!'s "Race to the Bottom" with James Mirtle's loose playoff predictor, the Cherepanov push is a rough guide for figuring out just how close the Oilers are to their first first-overall pick since Blair Chapman.

29 comments:

joninabox said...

Damn, if only it was that easy. Unfortunately, I figure the Oilers will win at least 2 or 3 more games this season. We can't even lose properly!

James Mirtle said...

Clever... I like it.

Alana said...

That's the spirit, Mike!

garnet said...

Does Blair Chapman have a son?

Andy Grabia said...

Is there someone in the draft from Edmonton, or someone who is related to an EIG owner, scout or current member of management? Because if so, you can totally count on that first 1st rounder being used on that guy. It would be worth a look, and likely a funny post, if you guys cared or had the time.

Pleasure Motors said...

That's the spirit, Mike!

Why do I even bother?

Chris! said...

I know. I get called Mike half the time, too.

Black Dog said...

Me too.

(Heavy sigh)

Although its certainly helpful with the ladies!

And Marc Andre Bergeron!

Alana said...

HA! Sorry, PM! I left that comment very early this morning and I was only half awake. I'll buy you a beer next time you're in TO to make up for it.

Anonymous said...

His wife would hate it in Edmonton anyways...

Doogie said...

May the draft lottery be the Oilers' next win.

Pleasure Motors said...

His wife would hate it in Edmonton anyways...

But see, that's the beauty of drafting: they're not married yet. With any luck Don Wheaton has a daughter just itching for a soft young Russian, and he can come back here and coach in 20 years, too.

Vic Ferrari said...

I just checked hockeywivesdb.com. No Wheaton. What's the story PM?

Darien said...

Don Wheaton's daughter would hate it in Edmonton anyway...

Pleasure Motors said...

Oh, sorry, I thought this was a better-known fact: MacT is married to Denny Andrews' daughter. You might recall Denny as the dude what used to dress up as a cowboy to pimp F150s. (Not to bring up old wounds, but how's that for irony, anyway?)

garnet said...

Oil just called up Nilsson. The future is now?

mike w said...

Schremp must be steamed.

Loxy said...

Does that mean we're gonna see Peterson on the blueline?

Darien said...

Petersen is going to score goals.. sorry, tober-loners - even after he takes Roloson's job.

Anonymous said...

Sure feels like the oil are done... forever...

Anonymous said...

Oil is playing Minnesota tonight! How excited are we? Me? I'm REAL excited! Especially after the way they beat Vancouver. Score prediction 3-0 Edmonton with Petersen getting all three tober-loners and his first career shutout.

Shane said...

The other issue is this: Even if you finished dead last, you've only got a 25% chance of getting the first overall pick thanks to the goddamn draft. When there are two great prospects in the pool you're golden... (Eric Johnson/Jordan Staal type year) but if you only want Cherepanov, you gotta hope you pull a horseshoe out of your ass IN ADDITION to sucking a dead man's balls for the rest of the season. Amazing.

Alan said...

It's actually about a 50% chance, I believe. The last place team has a 25% chance of winning the lottery, but the 2-5 teams collectively only have about a 50% chance of winning it.

Since you can only move up 4 spots if you win the draw, if any team 6-14 wins, then they can't take your #1 spot.

joninabox said...

Alan is correct. You can find all the exact figures at this website:

http://www.geocities.com/rmccleary97/entry_draft.htm

Chris LaBossiere said...

As much as anybdy, I hate what is happening to the Oilers, but at least Calgary leads the "Loser" list on Google Trends.

http://www.richfulllife.ca/my_weblog/2007/03/google_trends.html

mike w said...

JESUS. Washington loses again. The push for the bottom is harder than the push for the playoffs.

Anonymous said...

i can't believe i'm listening to the det/columbus shootout... have we really sunk this low?

Julian said...

I can't believe we've only been passed by two teams since we started this whole month-o'-losing streak.

Anonymous said...

I can't believe Rexall place sold out again.