Monday, April 2, 2007

More Boos from Booville

Anyone catch that Edmonton Sun story on Toby Petersen being nominated for the Bill Masterton Memorial Trophy?

It's your typical heart-warming number about a small kid with diabetes overcoming adversity, eventually realizing his life-long dream of becoming a NHL hockey player. The effect of such a piece is to make one's insides fuzzy and tender, but as an Oilers fan I'm still left with a nagging thought: for a player who has no business in the NHL, Toby Petersen's dream is my nightmare.

Don't let his banal, vanilla exterior of goodwill and humility fool you. Toby Petersen is a bloodthirsty,
scavenging hockey jackal cleaning up on the sloppy carrion that is the Oilers' horrendous 2006-07 campaign. Watch the suck graph go skyward as Petersen's single digit ice time minutes slowly climb to a season high, gag-inducing, 20 minutes a night! Watch him as possibly the worst and most inexplicable powerplay specialist in NHL history! Marvel at his 14 points in 61 games!

I might be hard on the guy, but the day that he's barely cracking the fourth line again will be the day that the Oilers don't suck anymore. The fact that he's been so visible is less a testament to him than it's a knife-twist revelation about how bad the Oilers are playing. As for the Masterton Trophy, I'd rather nominate Ethan Moreau for overcoming shoulder surgery just in time to voluntarily partake in a bag skate for no other reason than he's a psycho.

28 comments:

LittleFury said...

How 'bout them Oilers, eh?

Whooo.....


oo...

.

Anonymous said...

I see Peterson a lot whenever I happen to come across you're sad-ass team of losers. So why are you pickin on him, the fact that he is playin well, playin hard and to boot with a past like that is inspirin? You're team is sad and WAY over-rated with everyone healthy. Havin guys like Toby there makes Edmonton have some redeemin quality. Kinda like Rudy. Later buddy... You seem to have quite the life :)

epinonymous said...

It's called the letter 'g'

D. said...

Yeah, how about them Oilers.

Cough.




Cough. Cough.

Darien said...

There's always next year right?...

No...

LittleFury said...

Is the difference between "your" (possessive) and "you're" (contraction of "you are") so very hard to understand?

mike w said...

So why are you pickin on him, the fact that he is playin well, playin hard and to boot with a past like that is inspirin?

When I first read this, I thought it was supposed to be a rap in the manner of Grandmaster Flash.

ggggggg said...

Hilarious post. Kudos on the magic wand bit, too.

Anonymous said...

I can't believe you did'nt use the word "hankerin". Thats a good redneck word is'nt it?

Anonymous said...

I agree with you entirely, mike w. i have this horrible feeling that the oilers will re-sign him too.

-Konstantine

Mrs Gertrude Inkpen said...

Your Jokin, arncha?

Black Dog said...

I was at some pub the other night and made the exact same point about Moreau to a couple of old broken down barflies sitting on the stools next to me.

That's funny.

mike w said...

I was at some pub the other night and made the exact same point about Moreau to a couple of old broken down barflies sitting on the stools next to me.

Pure coincidence. I don't remember anything said from that night other than "tiger balls."

CrazyCoach said...

Way over-rated?

Yeah, that's why Toby Peterson is playing on this team. He's the king of over-rated.

Diabetes? Until he breaks a Russian's ankle with a slash, he ain't no Bobby Clarke!

Anonymous said...

Guys, don't place all your mis-guided anger on poor Toby Pete.

The guy was gonna be in the AHL the whole season until Moreau went down. He might have gotten a quick stint when we sent Thor down for a refresher course, but with Stoll getting injured he probably would have also been the first call-up.

Poor Toby Pete can't possibly be expected to replace Stolly or Chopper, I mean the guys like 5'9 with skates. If Joffrey freakin Lupul had half the work ethic of Toby Pete, he'd be a way way way better player.

Go Toby! Just don't come back next year, Thor's ready to replace you.

-ChrissyT

Chris! said...

I was at some pub the other night and made the exact same point about Moreau to a couple of old broken down barflies sitting on the stools next to me.

YOU SNOOZE YOU LOSE, MCLEAN

Jonathan said...

Toby Peterson's not that bad....
He's a decent penalty killer, and a legitimate fourth line forward... it isn't his fault that Craig Simpson feels he's a powerplay ace.

The biggest thing is he's playing over his head, but at least he's trying. I'll take him over Lupul/Nedved, and unlike JF Jacques, he occasionally gets a point. Beating up on him is like ripping Bryan Young and Sebastian Bisaillon new ones for nothing more than being put in a situation where they can do nothing but fail.

So do something nice- more Lupul bashing!

Black Dog said...

Tiger balls.

Hee.

I forgot about the story I wanted to tell you about the chimp I saw at the Tampa zoo.

Remind me next time.

Tyler said...

I don't remember anything said from that night other than "tiger balls."

Sirs. I propose that the next joint mc79/bdhs/CiO roadtrip is to the zoo for the purposes of scientific investigation.

Black Dog said...

I don't know if alcohol and zoos mix is the problem.

James said...

Petersen isn't the problem.
Petersen is the symptom.

Don't treat the symptom.
Treat the problem.

That is: get some fucking NHL-calibre HOCKEY PLAYERS IN THE OFF SEASON, KLOWE.

MMMKAY THANKS.

LittleFury said...

if it's of any small consolation, the Red Scum (Mason-Dixon edition) are out , making this the first year in NHL history both SCF finalists failed to make th eplayoffs the following year.

Lord Bob said...

if it's of any small consolation, the Red Scum (Mason-Dixon edition) are out , making this the first year in NHL history both SCF finalists failed to make th eplayoffs the following year.

Woo! Parity!

Actually, this only makes me more irritated, particularly when I remember Cam Ward stealing the Stanley Cup finals from a better team and suddenly turning into the Black Hole of Carolina now that it doesn't matter.

Of course, there are Detroit, Anaheim, and San Jose fans probably saying the same thing about Fernando Pisani right now. That makes me feel a bit better.

Lord Bob said...

Of course, there are Detroit, Anaheim, and San Jose fans probably saying the same thing about Fernando Pisani right now. That makes me feel a bit better.

Just to clarify myself, I'm not trying to say Pisani's had a bad year. He's had a very good, Pisani-esque, best-damned-third-liner-period year. But if you're a casual fan of a hockey team that's not the Oilers, you're probably going to look at his 15 goals or whatever this year and yell "DAMN YOOOOOOOOU".

Lady_Byng said...

Toby. Oh boy.
I hope he doesn't get re-signed.

NEWS FLASH: THE OILERS HAVE CALLED UP ROB SCHREMP.

http://www.edmontonoilers.com/news/index.php?id=1061

kate said...

yep. they have recalled schremp. holy frick.

joninabox said...

Let us recall great tales of Schremp cocktails and Pouliot-atoes! The season is saved!

mike w said...

Thanks, Lady Byng.