Saturday, April 21, 2007

Never too late to say you're sorry

There's finally a reason to pick up a daily newspaper in Edmonton: the Edmonton Oilers have bought full-page ads in both of our daily rags to apologize for the abomination that was the last ten months.

Admittedly, I'm not quite sure what to make of the apology, signed by one Patrick Laforge, who evidently found time between fielding complaints about our arena to express his remorse for what could charitably called a rusty coat hanger abortion of a season. It is a nice bit of class for the organization to acknowledge the flying shitstorm we've been through, but it also does a pretty thorough job of claiming that management takes responsibility for the situation while very clearly outlining why exactly it was not management's fault at all. For instance, they blame "unplanned roster changes" (might as well read "fuckin' PMS-y bitches") and players who "never got on track," but don't really mention, you know, "management inaction" or "trading a franchise player for prospects and nepotism."

Laforge also spends about half of it saying that, if you can believe this, he doesn't think all this talk about how shitty Edmonton is is warranted (Pat Laforge: he's not going to win any awards for saying this). He essentially calls anyone who doesn't want to live here a pussy ("you can't take a little fucking snow?! You're a hockey player, bitch!"), and then praises our work ethic and blue collarness and such (thought: precisely how many people who actually qualify as "blue collar" can even afford to go to Oiler games? Actually, I guess rigpigs do have money flying out their ears, nevermind).

It's a nice gesture, I guess, though frankly, if they're really sorry, I want to hear about payroll raises and see at least one big free agent signing/trade. Oh, and quit asking for public money for your fucking building.

UPDATE: From today's Edmonton Journal story on the fan reaction to the apology, this gem:

"If plans for a new downtown arena go ahead, it could help Oilers managers attract star talent and free agents, Nichols added. Mayor Stephen Mandel is expected to unveil a committee this week that will study the idea of replacing Rexall Place with a $400-million building in the city's core."

I thought there was something missing from yesterday's apology. I'm getting mighty fucking sick of Cal Nichols.

Entirely unrelated update:

BoA got hit by trolls on the comments from Matt's last gameday post, and boy oh boy is it ever worth reading. The piece de resistance, in my opinion:

"calgary--->the crown jewel of alberta"

I want to meet the person who wrote that.

10 comments:

pickles said...

just think how entertaining/appalling it would have been if penned by the master of tact, cal nichols? i'd love to hear his take on the whole pronger thing. oh wait...

Anonymous said...

if this their way of apologizing for 07-08 in advance, i'm totally jumping ship.

bruce, long-time oil fan

Anonymous said...

I can't believe you used a non-Happy Bunny image, when there are so many which could apply...

1, 2, 3, 4.

Anonymous said...

I've been an Oilers fan since 1983...

Aged 30 LOL...now I realise that the only effing way the Oilers will ever SERIOUSLY contend for the cup will be to tank for a few more years...

I say let's go for the 1st overall pick for the next 2 seasons at LEAST...

The best way? Keep MacTavish etc...LMAO

hunter1909

(I'd happily post this on any other board but I keep getting banned for some odd reason)

: p

Anonymous said...

If there are as many spelling mistakes in the paper versions of the apology as in the version currently on the Oilers' website, signed 'Patrick Lagorge'...ai yi.

LittleFury said...

With that shitty spelling it could have written by a Calgary Flames fan!

Andy Grabia said...

Is there a link to that Nichols' quote?

Andy Grabia said...

Found it. Sorry.

mike w said...

2007: The year of hearing way too fucking much about Patrick LaForge, and not enough about the team on the ice.

Something's wrong here.

Is that guy who rammed a pie in Ralph Klein's face out of jail yet?

PS: Come one Detroit, Calgary is on the ropes: finish them off in the 2nd OT!

mike w said...

FRAAAAAANNNNZZZZZEEENNNNN!!!!

He he!