Sunday, April 29, 2007

"No Feaarrr!" he screams, chasing a tennis ball into the corner

Well, unsurprisingly, Covered in Oil has kind of ran out of steam as of late when it comes to updating the blog (what, were you expecting us to get sports boners for the Vancouver Canucks?), but hockey is still close to our minds. Today, in a rare alignment of hockey gods and planets, your CinO correspondents will all be playing street hockey today, either in Edmonton or Toronto.

As someone with the mind of a professional athlete, and a 5'8 body of a non-athlete, street hockey is my way of expressing my special feelings, usually channeled through long bouts of puck-hogging and cheap Darcy Tucker shots to Chris!'s ribs. I look forward to another Frank Miller's 300-esque battle on the tennis courts today, complete with Persian Sun-King transsexuals...

In the meantime, has anyone noticed that Andy Grabia has repeatedly torn a new asshole from EIG's ongoing campaign for a new arena? I mean, it's an endless trail of freshly torn assholes! Somehow we've gone from October's "trial balloons" to City of Edmonton "Feasibility Committees" stacked with dudes from EIG, with the mayor openly talking up a taxpayer-funded $400 million retail/restaurant/parking facility that will magically revitalize downtown in a way that, say, Edmonton City Centre cannot. I was so enraged that I actually wrote letters to the paper, something I haven't done since I sent stalker mail to the Edmonton Sun's Graham Hicks when I was a teenager.

So thanks again, Andy: for writing 20,000-word screeds that keeps my indignation taut, centred and focused.

Also: un-retire, you tit.

PS: I am inordinately proud of the Golden Gretzky, seen above, a trophy I designed for our Hungover Street Hockey League (HSHL). One Todd McFarlane doll + gold spray paint = champagne dreams.

14 comments:

Pleasure Motors said...

Damn. A trophy. I'm going to have to work on that.

Allan said...

I've got that covered.

sacamano said...

That's funny, he also roused me to fire off a letter to the editor, copied to Paula Simons.

She didn't answer, and they didn't print it.

Scarlett said...

I say post those letters online! Let's see em!

Andy Grabia said...

I was too hungover to attend street hockey today. I was worried PM would Iginla me in the ribs, and I'd vomit all over myself. But if I had known Allan was gonna bring a trophy...

mike w said...

Ah man, I just got one from Gary Lamphier and it's a doozy!

Chris! said...

Are you going to print it, Mikey?

DRZ said...

Yeah, Mike... you can't throw words like "doozy" around idly...

mike w said...

Well, I've got another e-mail from Gary, regarding the Journal's ownership stake in the team and their endless column inches of arena boosterism -- with nary a quote from an opposing viewpoint in sight.

Here's a taster:

"if full disclosure is your golden rule for quality journalism, I'd suggest that every scribbler in the country would have to attach an addendum to everything they write disclosing their personal investments, political contributions, spousal entanglements, etc ..... don't think that's about to happen anytime soon ... example: I know of one (now former) Globe biz writer who is married to a prominent exec at a high profile investment dealer ... yet I don't remember this writer ever mentioning that in print, for some strange reason ...."

I merely suggested that transparency and disclosure is always a good idea when there's a conflict or interest.

But a Globe business writer didn't do it once, so never mind.

LittleFury said...

Gary Lamplighter is a dink.

As for road hockey, thanks to all who came out. I'd like to do it up again in a couple of weeks. Let's say May 13?

tothebank said...

Mike - quit being a tease. Are you going to hold back on posting the whole letter in the hope of keeping an open dialogue with him? Or will we get the full meal deal?

Scarlett said...

Yeah we need to hear the whole thing. Cause seriously, that teaser of yours in a doozy.

Feynman and Coulter's Love Child said...

Full disclosure may not be a key to quality journalism, but earlier this month Parliament Hill reporter/blogger David Akin decided he was eschewing facebook groups to avoid losing the appearance of partiality, so it seems to be something several journalists care about.

Allan said...

As for road hockey, thanks to all who came out. I'd like to do it up again in a couple of weeks. Let's say May 13?

I'll be there.

I guess it'd probably make more sense to email.