Friday, June 22, 2007

Introducing the newest Oil droplets

Sixteen teams took a look at Alexei Cherepanov's wispy mullet, and his tight, black thespian t-shirt underneath his utterly Russian blazer and said "no, thanks." They also openly sniffed at Angelo Esposito, the human piece of 18 year-old garbage that dared to not play like a Top 5 pick last season. If either do much in the NHL, there will be a lot of teams eating crow, including the Edmonton Oilers.

So what did the Oilers get?

6th Overall - Sam Gagner

From ISS: Sam is a tremendously gifted player. His offensive skills are unquestionable and he has been a top point producer at every level that he has played. Shows very good puck control at a high rate of speed. Linemates benefit from Sam's excellent anticipation, vision and passing skills, often being set up in excellent scoring positions. Like other young players, at times will cheat on the offensive side of the puck, however he is dependable if game situation clearly requires strong defensive play. Does not have great size, must continue to work on core strength.

Okay, not bad. I'm not going to pretend that I've watched the London Knights all season, but if Lowetide likes him, then I like him. From what I've seen, Gagner's got a great set of hands, but on the other hand I wonder if playing on a stacked Knights team with Patrick Kane glosses over his weaknesses, a la Robbie Schremp. And will the name Voracek forever haunt the Oilers faithful (um, adding to a growing list that includes Pronger, Smyth, Comrie, and anyone that isn't Jesse Niinimaki, etc)?

15th Overall - Alex Plante

From ISS: Without a doubt one of the biggest draft wildcards. The number one attraction of this player is his combination of outstanding size and skill. He is blessed with a genetic gift and a relatively high level of skating and puck skill for a player this big. Plante is an intense player who is mean and not afraid of playing along the boards or competing physically. He has a good stride and his agility is improving. This has led to a definite improvement in his overall play and a climb up our rankings.

The Ryan Smyth pick. Instead of Cherepanov or an Esposito, they Oilers went out and grabbed a huge 6'4" 225 lb Western Junior defenceman of the stay-at-home variety (bonus points for the great hockey name). Slated to go anywhere between 16th and 72nd, we may have drafted Matt Greene 15th overall. Or maybe he's Jason Smith's replacement. Or he could merely be a Francois Boot. Fuck, I hate drafts.

21st Overall - Riley Nash

From ISS: There is a strong feeling of comfort when a team considers drafting a player like Nash because you know what you're getting - a good, honest player willing to work hard and give a consistent effort every night. He fits the mould of a "late-bloomer" and with continued attention to small details he will continue to improve. Nash was a stellar performer for the Silverbacks, leading them in regular-season scoring with 84 points and also in the playoffs with team high 11 points. Is a potential prospect for Team Canada at the IIHF U-18 World Championship in Finland.

A little confusing. The Oilers traded down 9 spots with Phoenix for the 21st pick, so they could draft another Alberta boy that may have still been around 30th overall -- to be fair, this year's draft was already pretty loosey goosey when it came down to predicting player selection, even in the first round. Either the Oil know something we don't, which is why they have paid scouts, or they're clueless. And unless you live in Salmon Arm and follow the BCHL, you're likely going to see this guy for the first time at the U-18 tournament in Helsinki if he makes the team. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to pray to Jesus to make this team good again.

Draft Day Highlights

- The firesale continues: Nashville trades away quality starter Thomas Vokoun to Florida for a 2008 first rounder and two second round picks. Word is Jordan Tootoo is available for a box of Old Dutch Salt and Vinegar Chips.

- The spectacle of a freshly fired Doug MacLean on TSN, making whimpering noises ("Give me a break! I was just fired!") and otherwise grovelling for a full-time gig at the network ("I gotta say , I may be done with managing -- I'm really enjoying this!")

Draft Day Lowlights

-
Looks like Jim Balsillie is getting jerked around again for daring to move a failing franchise to a market it deserves. God forbid the Nashville Predators move to Hamilton, especially when there's 6,000 season tickets to be sold in Las Vegas.

- Having to work tomorrow, I'm forced to stay at home on a Friday, commenting on the weight, height and overall physical attributes of boys born in 1989.

31 comments:

Darien said...

Well, at least the oilers grabbed early and often in the draft (more often than early). Who knows?! Maybe Lupul will have some wingmen now...

...for the bars I mean.

garnet said...

Another legacy player like Nilsson; I think this something that Lowe takes notice of -- if your dad ever played with/against him in the NHL. Why oh why couldn't he have grabbed Paul Stastny, then? Now I'm gonna dream that we drafted Jaden Boot, the son of ...

reggie jr said...

hahaha COILERS flunked out again. i mean, wtf?? u guys had the chance at cherapanov and esposito, and you picked riley and fookin alex plante??? who da fuck was even talkling about these 2 dead bolts before today??? stupid COILERS.

if the e.i.g. had any balls/brains theyd dump k-blowe like a bran muffin

oilers misfortunes continue to be the delight of my day. shadenfrude at its best. 8-D

Alana said...

I'm convinced that reggie jr is performance art.

reggie jr said...

just got back from reading the chorus of whiney little cOILERS fans in the comments of LT and BOA. ahahahahahahahah im literally wiping away the tears.

enjoy alex "boot" plante, deadmonton!!

*holds back laughter*

*cant hold it anylonger*

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Chris! said...

Wow, I think reggie jr. is actually retarded.

Maybe we should have been nicer to him about the whole illiterate thing.

reggie jr said...

nice chris. i cant wait for iginla and phaneuf to destroy the coilers second line of lupul-schremp-o'mara (plante-greene on D) next year.

:D

Chris! said...

I just can't think of any other explanation as to why you haven't figured out that we're laughing at you.

pdan - the p is silent. said...

Reggie I'm sure is a loser, virgin living in his parents basement ... only explanation.

Anonymous said...

have u considered that i dont care if u laugh at me?? so i make some typos. big effn deal... im lazy, so whwat.

bottom line: if i have to 'take one for the team' (in this case calgary) by letting coilerville yukk it up on the oiLOLogosphere, so be it. i think wed all galdly take me being a laughing stock as long as it means that the cOILERS continue to live in abject misery.

glad u can distract urselves from one of the worst and poorly managed draft days for any major team in recent nhl history by giggling like schoolgirls whenever i bring the OBJECTIVE TRUTH to your blogg.

reggie jr said...

whoops that was me above i didnt sign in. sorry

Jesse said...

I'm working on a theory that reggie jr. is actually Andy Grabia. Think about it...he seems to have shown up to reinforce our beliefs about flames fans right around the same time Grabia "retired".

As much as I dislike the flames, could anyone really be that unfortunate? Then again, a friend of mine once saw someone wearing a flames jersey with Crosby 87 on the back, so maybe.

reggie jr said...

ridiculous crack pot "theory". didnt grabia retire months ago??? after the flames were mis-coached into a dissappointing 1st round plyaoff loss??

i started posting here and on boa because you guys are badly in need of a good dose of objective realty

Chris! said...

Shit, reggie jr. That's really benevolent of you, bringing us THE TRUTH for free like that out of the goodness of your own heart. I didn't realize you were such a philanthropist.

And actually, we're not laughing at you because you write like a six-year-old; we're laughing at you because your opinions are childish and dumb.

Anyhow, seriously, thanks for coming out.

Darien said...

I did like the "dumping Klowe like a bran-muffin" though.

pdan - the p is silent. said...

Now that Keenan is whispering in Sutter's ear, watch the Flames go down in, er, well Flames.

reggie jr said...

go ahead and continue to live in your fantasy world, coilerville. im refering to the magical place that exists within the boundries of imaginaition where i'm andy grabia and lupul + prospects/picks is going to get you wayne redden and a lump of gold squeezed outta my ass checks and juvenile fan fiction about the history of the "falmes" passes off as pulitzer prize material.

u peopel really are a piece of work.

Mattstro Disastro said...

I believe that would be WADE Redden.
Good on you Oilers, for getting your hands in up to the elbows in this draft. If reggie gets you down, stop by the Leafs forums sometime and listen to the masses who were crying "GET A NEW GOALIE" as they change their tune to "WHY DID YOU GET ANOTHER GOALIE?"

Pleasure Motors said...

Actually, reggie, if you'd really like to read pulitzer-worthy juvenile fan fiction, might I suggest that you start with these?

mike w said...

Reggie, you are on the wrong blog.

May I suggest? ---> www.hfboards.com.

Stan the Caddy said...

"This crowd here tonight is evidence that hockey is strong south of the border" (paraphrase) Gary Bettman

Hmmm, try venturing more than ONE STATE south of the border, Gary.

I have a feeling he's going to use the draft attendance as an argument to move the Preds to KC. Sometimes I wish there was some crazy guy out there that would asassinate that little prick...

oh wait. Reg? Would you mind taking your objectivity to NYC? I'm sure you've got a gun hidden somewhere under your bed.

Doogie said...

I don't know if we should be asking whether the Oil drafted Matt Greene II at #15. I think we should be asking if they drafted Brad Winchester at #21.

mike w said...

I'm sure Bettman thinks the Iraq war is going swimmingly, too.

Colby Cosh said...

We know Nouri al-Maliki wasn't high on the Central Scouting lists but he's a classic two-way prime minister with tremendous upside.

reggie jr said...

maybe iraqs not going well but atleast the usa got rid of a brutal tyrrant and on balance i dont now how u can argue agaisnt that. getting more democracy in the world vvs letting a tyrant kill and murder his peopel is a pretty simple equation to me.

u people are just monday morning qBs

Paul said...

SInce no one has pointed this out to Reggie yet, Clagary aslo had a chance to draft Esposito and traded down so as to not pick him.

Also mike, only 15 teams wiffed the mullet and decided "no," as Edmonton did so twice.

mike w said...

The less we "point things out" to trolls, the better.

McLea said...

May I suggest? ---> www.hfboards.com.

You really have to mix it up trapezoid. How many times do you think you've used this exact same line? 20 times? 30?

I just hate to see all your creative talent go to waste.

mike w said...

They pay me a commission.

McLea said...

Ha. Touche.

The Sieve said...

Whoever this reggie jr. is, he's a glutton for punishment. Wow. I would have left in tears long ago.