Friday, June 1, 2007

Muscles or douchebaggery? You decide.

In case you missed it, the screeching slumber party enthusiasts over at Hot Oil have undertaken a weighty summer project entitled Unrestricted Free Hotness, in which they offer a team-by-team breakdown of the 2007 UFAs and pose the question: could this man make the Oilers hotter? The latest entry covers off the Washington Capitals, who even in free agency have nothing to offer. On Donald Brashear:

As you can see, this notorious enforcer knows how to look hot, even when he's ruining McSorley's career, cheap-shotting some sucker, or sharpening his stick into a shiv. On the other hand, he's apparently kind of a dink. What wins out: muscles or douchebaggery? You decide!
Sure, one could point out that Brashear isn't actually a free agent until 2008-09, but the heart, you know, she makes her own contract terms. Check out their previous instalments on the Phoenix Coyotes and San Jose Sharks.

CHRIS'S TIDBIT NOOK
• Have you been watching the Stanley Cup Final this year? The Senators look fucking doomed. I mentioned while watching Game 2 on Wednesday that if Anaheim absolutely must win the Cup, at least we can hope that CFP suffers some kind of career-ending injury along the way. My girlfriend actually looked kind of disappointed in me. Maybe it's one of those Mars vs. Venus things those comedians on Evening at the Improv are always talking about.

• In the comments to the previous post, an anonymous commenter brought to our attention that TSN's Bob McKenzie is saying we should look for Kevin Lowe to make a 'big splash' between now and July 1st, as he'll be looking to add a couple of top-six forwards and a quality defenceman via trade. Why does that worry me so much? I feel like I'm watching a fat kid trying to pull himself into cannonball formation off the high diving board and realizing mid-jump he's headed for a partial belly-flop at best.

• Have you heard the new LCD Soundsystem album yet? Best goddamned disc of the year, mark my words.

6 comments:

pete said...

I feel like I'm watching a fat kid trying to pull himself into cannonball formation off the high diving board and realizing mid-jump he's headed for a partial belly-flop at best.

Wait, you're a Leafs fan too?

Alana said...

That's what I get for trusting "Jamie Fitzpatrick" for my list of 2007 UFAs -- lying fuck.

sacamano said...

Are LCD Soundsystem anything like the C&C MusicFactory? Because if so, I'm gonna blow out the speakers on my Walkman with their new cassette tape.

kirsten said...

According to the list of UFA's, 3/4 of the NHL signed two year contracts after the lockout.

I second the career ending injury, but then we'd have to hear about it for years to come anyway.

Anonymous said...

Douchebaggery, I choose you!

Yup, Pronger looks set to accomplish what he states on that terrible TSN ad where his hopes and dreams are not conveyed at all by his drab delivery.

Scarlett said...

I along with several female friends wish, no pray, for career-ending injury for the devil. We'd even be happy with a life-ending injury. So mars vs. venus...nope!