Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Calgary Falmes: the new evolution revolution

Nothing screams "class!" like a pair of flags on a man's shoulder. And while I'll admit that there isn't much to improve on with the Calgary Flames' latest sartorial innovations, I would like to offer a few humble suggestions of my own, for next year:

Geography is huge this season. While it doesn't get much better than having a couple of clashing, oversized flags stitched on to a jersey like a pair of swimming achievement badges on a kid's backpack, I still would like to see "Calgary, Alberta, Canada, North America" spelled out over the crest in a nice green Courier font. That way, when Calgary is on the road in the States, spectators might be inspired to look Calgary up in Wikipedia and be surprised to learn that it has a semi-arid, continental climate.

Ah, I see you've noticed a new innovation: arm patches featuring the City of Calgary's official flag (that's right, the official flag). I was going to put the city's coat of arms in the armpits, but that would have been too gaudy.

Can you say ARMPIT PIPING!? This fall's must have, and almost assured to never look dumb or outdated. You snooze you lose, Original Six teams!

You're probably wondering about the logo. Marketing wizards told me that kids love merch, almost as much as adults, so I've introduced lovable mascot Harvey the Hound to the traditional Flaming C, making the team more approachable and friendly, especially to four-year olds.

Actually, the toughest decision was choosing between the new Flaming Harvey and the popular Flaming Horse logo. This was a tough one, but I had to go with my gut and after consulting with numerous focus groups I went with the Hound. The Hound is new. Always do new.

So there you have it. Can't wait to see if the Edmonton has the balls to get their merch on later this month when they unveil their own new Reebok Edge jerseys!

28 comments:

Daniel K said...

I'm waiting for the Spider-Man style armpit webs.

mike w said...

Shit, you're right. That stuff sells like crazy.

sacamano said...

Can we stick a stetson or bolo on that dawg? Or is Heritage yesterday's news?

David S said...

No Calgary merch would be complete without "World Class" plastered on it somewhere. Perhaps repeating all along the hem, like a cheesy ass lanyard.

Roll 'em!

sacamano said...

I'm not sure whether or not that 'Whispers of the Night' video is new, but darnit is it ever catchy.

ZOZ said...

On the back, I think they should have a stylized cartoon of each player's face - that way, when they're turned around you'll love 'em even more!

o<

McLea said...

Oiler fan sure is insecure this season.

Chris! said...

Shit. McLea totally called us out, you guys. Shut down the blog.

Chris said...

I see one glaring omission - where is the globe patch or the clarification in green courier font that the Flames play on planet Earth. That could be very confusing to the Visitors and American fans.

MetroGnome said...

Okay, now I REALLY hope the new Oilers jersey is hideous...

Baroque said...

Maybe they can put a Mercator projection on the back, with a big arrow pointing "You are here (for home games)" to Calgary.

Might work even better than a globe!

Art Vandelay said...

Does the Milky Way Galazy have an official patch?

Chris! said...

"Okay, now I REALLY hope the new Oilers jersey is hideous..."

Given that only two or three teams have released jerseys so far that aren't a step backwards on the design front, I'd say it's likely that the Oilers will get it wrong as well.

But will it be backpacker flag patch wrong? I doubt it. Though I am a little worried that try to cram that damned gear comet into the fray somehow, while still keeping the original crest and the rigpig shoulder patch.

Has anyone seen any leaks at all?

Prus said...

I was going to give a nasty reply but then i found this:

http://www.pictogame.com/game.php?game=q4FrjTrHE0P8

Anonymous said...

I think on Sept 16 at the end of awarding Joey Moss Cup, they will unveil the new Oiler jersey.

At least this is what Kevin Lowe allauded to when speaking on the morning show of Magic 99.

See Magic 99 website
Kevin Lowe stopped by the Magic 99 studio to chat with Rob about all things hockey, including the Oilers of course! If you missed it Thursday morning, check out the interview on Rob's blog.

stan mikita said...

Ok, we GET IT that you dunderheads dont like the show of patriotism on the calgary journal. BFD as the kids say.

ill bet u my left nut and a macs coffee that the new coilers jersey is even worse.

Keegan said...

The Calgary Journal?????
Dunderheads???

You really should bet your left nut somewhere sometime, less likely you will be contaminating the gene pool....

Colm in Belfast said...

Rob Christie has a blog?

mike w said...

Well, it's offical: the new jersey will be unveiled Sept. 16 at the Joey Moss Cup.

Anonymous said...

Ok, we GET IT that you dunderheads dont like the show of patriotism on the calgary journal. BFD as the kids say.

Well, patriotism is the last refuge of the scoundrel.

Rod said...

This isn't exactly on topic, unless you count "ugly" as being related to the discussion...

The Oilers TV schedule has been published, and it's fuuuugly. 14 damn PPVs this season. 15 if you count that pre-season one, but I presume someone screwed up the table (they probably meant to show each broadcaster with their respective background colour).

Regular season totals breakdown like this:
48 on Sportsnet
14 PPV
13 on CBC
6 on TSN
1 "no TV"

To me, 14 PPVs is extremely steep. For one, that's more than their HNIC appearances. If the PPV were HD broadcasts, I might see it differently (since Sportsnet can't provide HD on the regional networks yet). As it stands though, not good at all. The PPV game count keeps going up, as does the rate per game. Seems rather appropriate the PPV games are highlighted green.

McLea said...

To me, 14 PPVs is extremely steep.

Nothing irks me like people complaining about pay per view. First of all, you spoiled brats get to see 67 games for free. 67! So boo f-ing hoo. Second of all, all you have to do is put together a group of 3 to 5 people, and the games cost pocket change to watch.

I've never understood this. Guys will go to the bar and spend $6 on a beer, but they won't shell out a few dollars to watch a hockey game. Or they will, but they'll bitch and moan about it all season. Seriously guys, it's a few bucks a game. Let's try to keep this in perspective.

Andy Grabia said...

Nothing irks me like people complaining about pay per view..Seriously guys, it's a few bucks a game. Let's try to keep this in perspective.

You know what is free? Blogger. Nothing irks me more than guys who come around talking shit but don't have the balls to start their own blogs and face the heat. Not you, Mclea. Your blog is awesome. Everyone should read it daily. But those other people. Seriously, guys. It's free. Let's try and keep this in perspective.

Rod said...

As usual, mclea jumps in without bothering to read, or maybe he did, and completely missed the point. If they're going to charge us to watch, then give something. In particular, something other than the craptastic "commercial free" line (it's most definitely not commercial free--it's just that every ad is an Oilers ad).

Make the PPV worth something. Produce the games in HD. That's a feature we can't get through Sportsnet. Show the post-game press conferences. Take some advertising, and lower the fee (or eliminate it). Something. If they can't do anything beyond what they put out and charged last year, then leave the games to Sportsnet. As it is, it's simply not worth it.

Compare the Oilers PPV situation to the Leafs. 20 games will air on LeafsTV, with commercials. All 20 will be HD productions. The subscription cost is $2.49 per month for the channel individually, or it's part of sports themed packages. Oh yeah, all Leafs pre-season games are also carried.

So, let's play with those numbers a bit. The hockey season is seven months, so that's $17.43. Another $2.49 for all the pre-season games. Not a fair comparison? OK, subscribe for twelve months--that's $29.88. About a $1.50 per regular season game, with the exhibition games thrown in for free. That's barely more than two Oilers PPV broadcasts. In HD to boot.

Tell me again that Oilers PPV is worth it. C'mon mclea, let's try to keep this in perspective.

MikeP said...

I *wish* I got 67 games for free. They're blacked out here, so I'm stuck with CBC. Maybe I'll get to listen to Simpson, at least.

But I have LeafsTV! Maybe they'll have riveting news about Mats Sundin's latest girlfriend! Or perhaps Darcy Tucker's latest BM! I can't wait!

Ross said...

Did anyone notice the solid orange practice jerseys in the first pictures from rookie camp?

Rod said...

mikep, check into NHL Centre Ice. It's not intended for following the local team(s), but it's well suited for your situation--your favourite team is across the country. It's available for around $200, and that'll get you pretty much every NHL game that's televised, except for the local team(s). For viewers outside the Oilers region, that should mean a those 67 Oiler games, possibly more. If the opposing team is broadcasting, you'll probably get the PPV games too. The only "no TV" game is in Minnesota. If the Wild carry that one, you'll get it too. Oiler fans in Alberta, Saskatchewan, and Manitoba are out of luck though since NHL Centre Ice will black-out Oiler games in those regions (to ensure the local rights holder gets the benefit of our eyes...).

All in all, you're in a better position to watch the Oil on TV than I am. For about the same money as 14 Oiler PPV games, you get the entire league, except Leaf games. I *wish* I could say the same.

Stan the Caddy said...

you'll probably get the PPV games too

If you live outside of Edmonton, your CI subscription includes all the PPV games (possibly using other feed). For $200, I've found it well worth the price.

*Tip: If you can, subscribe to the Super Sports pack for the duration of the regular season. It usually comes out to be the same thing, plus you get all the stuff that you'll probably never watch(NBA, NCAA, NASCAR)