Monday, September 10, 2007

The Game That My Heart Skipped

I was supposed to be making my way down to Clare Drake for the ol' Rookies-Bears game, but I didn't. I could give excuses, but let's just chalk it up to c'est la vie and move on.

Based on the last year-and-a-half of Oilers life, though, I can make some educated guesses about what happened, so here is an entirely fictional yet highly probable recap of the major events of tonight's match up.

-Sebastian Bisaillon had a goal and a powerplay assist while playing 9:47 of the first period, went back to the dressing room and demanded a trade to the Vancouver Canucks' training camp.
-Slava "The Truck" Trukhno scored two goals in the first two periods, went back to the dressing room and asked for a fresh water bottle, and was promptly traded to the University of Saskatchewan Huskies for some promising young talent.
-Ryan O'Marra broke his toe while trying to make sure his skates were on tight enough.
-Andrew Cogliano is dead.
-By the third period, the fourth line and half of the defense were made up entirely of NAIT Ooks.

Seriously, though: was anyone there?

PS: As a happy aside, Sam Gagner doing something awesome. As an unhappy aside to the happy aside, how many goddamn times is that stupid song going to be used in hockey highlights videos?




UPDATE: Andy over at BoA has a substantial (and substantially more accurate) recap of the game up here. Sounds like a game well worth missing, which probably makes it a decent preview of the Oilers season to come.

31 comments:

grease trap said...

I'm no math pro, but those percentages don't add up. By the end they add another 100% ?!? How does this make sense?

Anyay, that Gagner's got jeu.

grease trap said...

Yes, that's "Anyay"...as in, "I'll take any yay I can. Fukkin EIG. Fukkin Lowe. Fukkin typos."

fever4flames said...

So i was at this game (proudly wearing a flames jersy of course). here's the run down:

MINI-COILERS only got one goal--from colin macdonald, no less.

O'MARA got around a half-dozen penalties that were all stupid. serious momentum killer. was NOT impressed.

Trukno and vitaly karushnakov were totally invisible and didnt show up with there game faces.

cogliano was a total bust and made some sloppy mistakes. he got manhandled by the golden bears, too. the groans of COILERS fans around me whenever he fumbled the puck made me giggle softly.

dubnyk was mediocre as expected, but glenn fisher was actually pretty decent.

And yes, even the mini-coilers' d was hapless.

fever4flames said...

oh yeah, and SAMWISE GAGNER showed up to accept some kind of photograph honor and a handjob from cal nichols, but didn't dress up.

WTF. i could hear some audibly frustrated edmonton fans question why he wasnt in the lineup.

jon said...

By the by fever4flames I was there and I overheard you talking with your friend. You don't know anything and should probably stop embarrassing yourself by speaking so loudly in public.

Anyway, I put up some of my comments at LT's blog if you guys are interested.

fever4flames said...

what was i saying that was so embarrassing?

i don't believe you, for what it's worth.

Rod said...

You don't believe Jon? I wasn't there, and I find it totally plausible based entirely on your "contributions" around Oilogosphere--especially your evaluation of Pitkanen's potential. Pure asshat in action.

Besides, only the fevered would expect Gagner in the lineup tonight. The kid just played 8 games in two weeks. Four of 'em half way around the world, reportedly at least a couple with an injury. Not exactly surprising the MVP from that series didn't play tonight.

mike w said...

PM, you sonnaufabitch.

2-1 loss for the Oil. And Colin McDonald scored a beauty.

BC Tory said...

Hi, kinda off topic, but I'm looking to start a Canadian hockey blog- one blogger for each team- and I have vacancies with a couple of teams, the Oilers being one. I was wondering if you wanted to contribute some of your postings to this blog. No original material required, whatever you write here you can repost there.

Tyler said...

Given that this is the second such offer I've seen in two days (although the first one is intriguing...), I think it's worth pointing out that we're into the second generation of hockey blogs: guys who ask other people for their posts so that they can put them up on their own blogs. We're through the looking glass people.

sacamano said...

It's just the kind of offer I've been waiting for! The whole reason I got into this blogging business in the first place was to make other people money.

Chris! said...

"what was i saying that was so embarrassing? i don't believe you, for what it's worth."

Me neither. I couldn't possibly imagine a great hockey mind like fever4flames saying anything stupid.

McLea said...

So i was at this game (proudly wearing a flames jersy of course).

I hate people like you.

Anonymous said...

I was waiting in the ticket line outside the Clare Drake arena. My friend nudged me and montioned in the direction of one of the fans in line. "There always has to be one dipshit who wears a flames jersey to games like this," he stated.

LittleFury said...

I was waiting in the ticket line outside the Clare Drake arena. My friend nudged me and montioned in the direction of one of the fans in line. "There always has to be one dipshit who wears a flames jersey to games like this," he stated.

So fever4falmes has taken internet trolling into the real world? Wow. Is it just me or do many Calgary fans define themselves more by their hatred of all things Oil than by their support of the Falmes? I know it's been discussed before (mudcrutch had a post on the subject this summer), but it's such a strange phenomenon. Reminds me of Canada's relationship with its own better known and more successful neighbour. I suppose that just how inferiority complexes work.

grease trap said...

More successful financially, you mean.

I'm just guessing.

Lord Bob said...

This conversation reminds me of the time when I, during the Oilers' last playoff run, was wearing my Oilers jersey and ran into a guy wearing a Flames jersey.

This was in a book return line at the University of Victoria, by the way. In the middle of an afternoon so hot the roads were melting.

The Flames were still in the playoffs at the time, so as we gave each other shit, I was wondering whether we were both losers, or if neither of us were. Deep down, though, I knew the answer.

therealdeal said...

-Andrew Cogliano is dead.

That comment was sincerely funny enough to be the highlight of my day...which brings me to Lord Bob's last point...

fever4flames said...

Hey guys. ive started a blog. let me know what you think and please add me to your blog roll. ill add covered in oil once i figure out how to work blogger. thanks

http://fever4flames.blogspot.com/

mike w said...

Hilarious. A Flames blog where the first post is all about the Oilers.

Tyler said...

Actually Mike, it looks to me like the first post is the one called "Welcome To My Web Blog", although that's wrong for other reasons.

Chris! said...

Clearly a joke. What sort of self-respecting Flames fan would put the flaming horse in his blog banner?

Great stuff nonetheless.

Julian said...

I'm a big fan of the blog subtitle :
"celebrating the endearing record of the calgary flames since 2007."(sic)

I just can't see how "endearing" is the correct word there. One Stanley Cup does inspire sympathy for some, I suppose.

sacamano said...

Was his typo of "Falmes" in his very first post intentional? If so, I love it. If not, I love it even more.

Let us never say that Reggie Jr. had no impact in this life.

Chris! said...

My life has been strangely empty since Reggie Jr. so abruptly disappeared.

mike w said...

Funny, I am almost certain they are the same person.

LittleFury said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
LittleFury said...

It's poetry. The disregard for conventional sentence structure, grammar and punctuation evokes the avant-garde work of ee cummings, though fever4flames (or is it falmes?) takes it to a new level by casting aside spelling as well. And how can one not hear the echoes of Wordsworth's The Prelude in the following declaration:

"its never been a more exciting time to be a calgary flames fan and alive."

It's literary genius, I tells ya.

MetroGnome said...

Thanks to Sacamano for posting that Reggie Jr. thread from BoA:

"Too cute by half, chris. TOO CUTE BY HALF"

Jesus is that ever funny. You just can't make that kind of shit up.

Chris! said...

"TOO CUTE BY HALF"

I still don't really know what that means. But at least he spelled it right.

MetroGnome said...

I don't either, but he was so emphatic about it. People emphatically declaring nonsense makes me laugh.

Is it possible that "Too Cute BY Half" could be this blogs new subtitle?