Friday, November 30, 2007

And now for a strident letter to the ombudsman...

I have an irrational disdain for Jian Ghomeshi, the ubiquitous CBC "personality" and standing reminder of how truly thin the talent pool can seem in Canadian media. I won't even go on about his days in the lesser-Barenaked Ladies band Moxy Früvous, or how he wore navel-high stone wash jeans and had ass-long poodle hair (the 1990s were rough on a lot of people) and basically looked like a lot of other creepy dudes at the time that were trying to pick up chicks on York campus by showing off how "sensitive" they were.

Nope, what I'm talking about is his unbounded employment at our moribund national broadcasting network, the CBC. Insomuch as there is a CBC program that has tried to be youthful, "edgy" or "hip," Jian's likely either hosted or reported for it, presumably because he sometimes wears a leather jacket. Aside from being a ratings killer, this guy is also a cad. The real reason I hate him is that anytime I actually hear him speak or do an interview, he sounds self-involved, vain, vaguely insulting and shockingly incurious. He will stop an interview dead cold if a subject gets his first name slightly wrong just to correct him. After airing a taped interview with Ben Affleck, Ghomeshi will poke fun of him with George Stroumboulopoulos just to make himself look clever. He will say things like "I love Vancouver with a heinous passion. I love its beaches, its grass, its lovingly depressed rainy days and of course its countless beautiful lovers, just walking the streets with nothing to live for but the music and the dancefloor." Enough said.

Now, I don't want to be a Negative Nellie by any means. This kind of angry sputtering is something I'd usually keep to myself and some truly lucky friends. And yet, paths have been crossed and I feel compelled to speak out. You see, the CBC has taken to showing in-house ads during Hockey Night in Canada for his new radio show "Q" ALL OF THE TIME.

Think I'm kidding? How does every single commercial break sound? How about twice in one commercial break? It's ridiculous once you start to notice it or hate Ghomeshi as much as I do. Indeed, it's so ridiculous that I even got annoyed enough to even do some research, people. And guess what I found? Of all commercials broadcast during HNIC, Jian Ghomeshi leads the pack by a country mile.

Using a sampling of one hour of HNIC, I counted nine Jian Ghomeshi commercials, which was about 4 more than any other commercial, which roughly accounts for a solid 5 minute block of Jian Ghomeshi for every hour of hockey. That works out to an absurd 8 percent of every hockey game spent listening to this dude pitch his crappy radio show ("...join me on a journey through arts, culture and entertainment"), a high toll no one should have to pay.

It's interesting to note that all other commercials were in-house ads for other CBC shows (The National, The Hour, etc) except for the lone paid advertisement, an ad for the movie Beowulf, which was also repeated ad nauseam. I guess the regular season isn't much of a draw: where would the CBC be without the playoffs, beer, Ford Trucks, Canadian Tire and Tim Hortons? I've read that the CBC has doubled it's ad rates from 2004, and I can only assume they're ridiculous since no one is buying. And so, to the CBC, a kind suggestion: lower your ad rates and start broadcasting real ads, ads that do not feature Jian Ghomeshi.

14 comments:

uni said...

God, I thought I was the only one that wanted to whip beer bottles at the screen every time that douche comes on.

He so full of himself that it's amazing he can get past a mirror without molesting himself. Dude is so worried about sounding/appearing to be cool that he wouldn't notice something interesting if it fell out of the sky into his bedroom Donnie Darko style.

However, on the suggestion of other here I've turned it into a drinking game. Everytime Q or Beowulf, Little Mosque on the Praire, or Henry adverts come on. I don't think I've made it past a Saturday sober since.

Rock Deputy said...

take a close look, guys. he's got a 5 o'clock shadow AND his shirt has a skull on it. that's some serious street-cred.

I think it's pretty clear that he's on the forefront of all that is "edgy" and "hip".

And his show is on CBC - the authority on all that is edgy and hip!

Art Vandelay said...

More irritating than George Stephalococous?

David S said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kxhy9-6cnxM

uni said...

That's a classic montage david s. Also I need to start containing my indignation and grammar check before I comment. I sound like an illiterate monkey on my 1st post haha.

Devin said...

He tried to hit on my girlfriend at the Junos one time. Poor guy didn't stand a chance (he's about 5'5"). Turbo douche.

Bill Needle said...

Turbo douche... heheheheh

Little Fury said...

It's interesting to note that all other commercials were in-house ads for other CBC shows (The National, The Hour, etc) except for the lone paid advertisement, an ad for the movie Beowulf, which was also repeated ad nauseam. I guess the regular season isn't much of a draw: where would the CBC be without the playoffs, beer, Ford Trucks, Canadian Tire and Tim Hortons? I've read that the CBC has doubled it's ad rates from 2004, and I can only assume they're ridiculous since no one is buying. And so, to the CBC, a kind suggestion: lower your ad rates and start broadcasting real ads, ads that do not feature Jian Ghomeshi.

I doubt it's their rates so much as it is the byzantine CanCon advertisng regulations and the CBC's own mandate to promote Canadian "talent."

dstaples said...

Couldn't agree with you more. Why is it that some media personalities make the tip of my boot itch?

Anonymous said...

I always thought it ironic when the CBC uses the Grey Cup or HNIC to try and promote its television fare (Mercer Report, Little Mosque, etc.) when the people who are currently watching CBC are the same people who never ever want to watch any of their other shows, while the die-harders who do watch all these other CBC programs are the only people in the country who aren't watching at the time of the ads.

Baroque said...

Huh.

I get CBC in the States, and we don't see those ads. They go the coffee - Ford trucks - Canadian Tire - beer - cell phone route here.

(And I crack up hearing the stupid "This is Our Country" country music song on an ad for trucks on a Canadian station.)

penaltyshots.ca said...

See! How bad are we all missing Frank D'Angelo now?

You are telling me that:

Frank D'Angelo really knocked it out of the park with shoddy commercials featuring single entendres about how his beer cans looked like big penises to dumb blondes, how he's best friends with Phil Esposito, and most bizarre of all, appearances from disgraced runner Ben Johnson, looking like he really needed the cash. Of course, D'Angelo appeared in all of the commercials, in one ad even dressing up as a kind of Japanese sensei for some reason, which was about as subtle as Mickey Rooney in Breakfast at Tiffany's," wasn't better than this.

p.s. I have never had a steelback beer (I live in S'toon) so I have no opinion of the quality of their grog, but I loved the commercials.

Chris O said...

He doesn't deserve to have stuck in the 90s as his claim to CanCon fame.

chrissy said...

Don't worry everyone!!

Trust me Jian stock is going down!!

Lets look at it this way...

The mans brand equity is just as bad as Ford Cars!!

Not many people in their 20's or younger knows who the guy is.

Going from a national TV show than bumped down to radio is a real kick in the ass for a media junkie.

Trust me....his ego was killed when Q was launched.

Remember....

T.V. killed the radio star.

Give him another year or two...than you can say goodbye!