Thursday, November 1, 2007

Thems the breaks: Oilers lose Greene for two to three months

It just wouldn't be a real Oilers season with another ludicrous rash of untimely injuries, and so far this year is turning out to be a doozy: 13 games in, and Edmonton is already icing a team that is forced to do without Ethan Moreau's leadership, Fernando Pisani's timely scoring, Sheldon Souray's comically inaccurate slapshot and Joni Pitkanen's uncanny proficiency at joining the rush just in time to his team offside. Key components, all, and missed they sorely are.

And now, news comes today that a third defenceman from our so-called top four will be booking himself a few months of rehab time, as the team announced that Matt Greene — pictured here advertising the length of his penis in millimetres in an attempt to impress any metrically inclined girls in the area — will be out for two to three months nursing a broken left ankle suffered in Tuesday's game against Detroit.

Check out the video here if you think you'd enjoy watching someone's limb flop around like a tube sock full of Jello. I'm ashamed to admit that I do, a bit.

This, of course, sucks, in that the light had seemed to go on for Greene in the past few games and the dude was actually playing pretty well. It also winnows down our defensive stable of nine purported "NHL-calibre defencemen" to the six-pack of Denis Grebeshkov, Tom Gilbert, Steve Staios, Dick Tarnstrom, Ladislav Smid and Mathieu Roy. Hell, Roy's even debatable, unless we're talking about a Scott Ferguson/Christian Laflamme-calibre of NHL calibre. I don't think we should be, so more like five. And let's not look at that list for too much longer before we start wondering if Grebeshkov and Smid have earned that title, either.

So our nine defencemen have been reduced to five plus a tweener, and suddenly, our depth doesn't seem so deep. Basically, we're one bruised finger away from a phone call to Allan Rourke, and dammit, I don't want to be one bruised finger away from calling Allan Rourke. Allan Rourke is a red flag. He's smoke and a hot doorknob. His presence means trouble.

Once upon a time I would have expected Lowe to start thinking trade at this point, especially with Atlanta sniffing around as vigorously as they apparently are. As it stands, this team needs a defensive conscience that stretches beyond Steve Staios and Tom Gilbert, and who's it going to be? Seriously. Mathieu Roy? That gets a big yikes from this guy over here.

As commenter Jonathan pointed out in yesterday's post, at least this means MacT can't scratch Tarnstrom anymore. Unless, of course, he's a fan of smoke and hot doorknobs.


Black Dog said...

This just in - Oiler coach MacT professes fetish for hot doorknobs.

Wherefore art though Bisallion?

Chris! said...

If this post leads to nothing more than Allan Rourke being given the nickname Hot Doorknob, it will all have been worth it.

He's this year's Bisallion, for sure. Harbinger of sorrow, and all that.

The Human Torch said...

Hooray. We're fucking dead.

I mean, we were fucking dead BEFORE Matt Greene's ankle went all bendy-wendy, this just brings us one step closer to doom.

How much longer will it be before Lowe, Mactavish, and Huddy have to strap on pads and jerseys themselves just so we have enough bodies for a starting NHL lineup?

the Prez said...

I'm offering the same solution this year as I did last.

Anonymous said...

This team already has the excuse "we got injured".

Ever notice how good teams rarely get a lot of injuries?

There is something wrong with the Oilers vaunted training system, or coaching, or whatever. I don't undrstand everything there is to know about running a sports team, but the culture endemic to the Oilers(old boys network, perpetual whine machine "we don't have any money - we have a great future even though we missed the playoffs, suck now and traded away our entire draft picks for the year"...

Seriously, who in their right mind would actually want to come and play on this team?

Hell, even Ryan Smyth wanted to leave.

Simply put, this team is fucked. As in totally.


Cam Fraser said...

Prez: on the radio on Wednesday, either Gregor or Corey Graham was suggesting the same thing. Apparently the Mangler is tearing it up in Locomotiv...

T. said...

Didn't he and Grebs play together last year? Maybe it'd work out well?

Steve said...

The Oilers aren't allowed to have anybody else under contract, are they?

Lord Bob said...

Ever notice how good teams rarely get a lot of injuries?

I think cause and effect is the wrong way 'round there. Of course teams that aren't injured tend to be good: they have all their good players on the ice for the longest period of time.

It is a lack of injury that causes success, not success which causes a lack of injury.

Chris! said...

hunter1909: I hardly think that the Oilers' training staff can be blamed for a case of ulcerative colitis and a couple unluckily broken feet. Don't necessarily disagree with what you're saying, though.

Steve: Last I heard we had 49 under contract and room for one more. But I haven't really been keeping track.

Steve said...

I thought Gagner was number fifty.

Also, Lord Bob, I agree with you. But good teams also have better depth, so you notice their injuries less.