Sunday, December 2, 2007

The miraculous return of Fernando Pisani



Yep. That's as close to pornography as hockey clips get.

After losing over 30 lbs to Colitis last summer, local folk hero Fernando Pisani is returning to the Oilers lineup tonight against Anaheim (apparently the Oilers only ever play Anaheim, Minnesota and Colorado this season). This is tempered by Ales Hemsky (knee) and Geoff Sanderson (back) sitting out for this road trip, but it's truly incredible that Fernando is even playing and not, you know, retired.

The Oilers have been dismal at even strength this season, which is why they only seem to win from shootout luck, occasionally great goaltending and tightly-rationed powerplay goals. Plugging Pisani into the lineup makes this team better. Patrick Thoresen, who has spent all year with the Springfield Falcons basically just scoring points (20 in 23 GP), also draws in tonight's game as a much too-belated call-up. And to the extent that he plays softer minutes than Pisani, he's also a good even strength guy. Here's hoping we score more goals than we let in!

PS: I am taping the game. If any Oilers fans in Toronto see me later tonight, don't tell me the final score. In fact, don't even look at me. I will be able to see it in your eyes.

12 comments:

Deebs said...

Is anyone going to comment on the what, how and why of George Parros? I guess I'm somewhat out of it, but I had never seen the dude before and was pleased to find out he wasn't just participating in Movember. The stach is for keeps! My wife's comment was "Who let this guy out of the beer leagues?" Anyone know what warranted his two ejections?

Nice to be riding the win wave for a while!

Hicks said...

I think he told Pisani he wanted to be his love monkey, but was rebuffed harshly by the referee and was admonished to make his way to the dressing room to calm his raging, er, 'manhood'.

Yeah, that's it.

Pleasure Motors said...

My wife's comment was "Who let this guy out of the beer leagues?"

Parros should be wearing Cooperalls.

The Stanley Cup photo he has on his website is like a Nascar fan stole the Stanley Cup.

Andy Grabia said...

All I know is dude has an economics degree from Princeton, which makes him perhaps the strangest choice for enforcer in the history of hockey. I wonder if he's examined the economics of getting punched in the face on a nightly basis versus using that degree to get a nice, non-punch in the face job.

another mike w said...

In addition to a Princeton degree, Parros is also tri-lingual... There's got to be a made-for-TV movie in there somewhere.

Speaking of drama, please transfer the title of 'Most Desperate GM' to Brian Burke. Witness his jettison of Bryzgalov for nothing. Nothing, no picks, nothing. How about his inability to get a decision out of Niedermayer and Selanne? And the latest: his whining about lack of trades and inability for teams to cover part of a traded player's salary.

And how is Burke feeling today after losing consecutive games -- and losing them badly -- to a team run by Kevin Lowe?

Time to shut up, Burkie-boy.

d said...

I just love that clip so much. Welcome back, Pisani.

Doogie said...

And how is Burke feeling today after losing consecutive games -- and losing them badly -- to a team run by Kevin Lowe?

How did this not occur to me until just now? Burke must have been having the piss-shakes last night.

Hands up, those of us who seriously thought we'd win the season series against Anaheim, especially with two smackdowns of this calibre.

Julian said...

I could watch that clip for days and get goosebumps like tennis balls every time.

Kirsten said...

The Stanley Cup photo he has on his website is like a Nascar fan stole the Stanley Cup.

Haha, I hadn't seen that before, but it's so true.

Pleasure Motors said...

From Parros' website: "Was a three-time member of the ECAC All-Academic Team." (That division includes Brown, Dartmouth, Cornell, Harvard and Yale.)

From Wikipedia: "known to be an avid fan of the rock band Night Ranger, with their smash hit 'Sister Christian' being a staple in his pre-game songlist."

From an OC Register article: "While in college, Parros had a fantasy hockey team called the All-Star Mustaches. He and his brother, Jeff, would hold mustache-growing contests."

I know he's a Duck and all, but I think I just found a new favourite player.

Andy Grabia said...

I know he's a Duck and all, but I think I just found a new favourite player.

Exactly. I really enjoy the guy. I believe they also sell Parros mustaches at Ducks games. Where the hell is Earl to clear all this stuff up for us?

Anonymous said...

If any Oilers fans in Toronto see me later tonight, don't tell me the final score. In fact, don't even look at me. I will be able to see it in your eyes.

You needn't have worried: had you been able to accurately glean "(team that won) won by (final score)" from anybody's eyes, you would have rejected it as unrealistic.