Saturday, December 22, 2007

Start pouring the Grasshopper, the kid is coming home!

Last night's game was a predictably frustrating affair, was it not? After scoring a single precious goal, the Oilers skated around the ice thinking about post-game shortbread cookies and eggnog, only to have New Jersey pot a quick pair in the third. It was inevitable. Andy at BoA is right, the Oilers are a team of one-and-a-half lines, with its top line accounting for 41 per cent of all of the goals scored.

Secondary scoring, as in getting 5 to 10 more goals, just isn't there. The rookies, offensively speaking, are overrated contributers to the team (less than .50 ppg) and shouldn't be expected to do much heavy lifting anyway. Jarret Stoll and Raffi Torres should be able to form the basis for a solid second line, but they haven't. So here we are... with 6 regulation wins in 36 games. I'd suggest moving a defenceman for an actual NHL-proven veteran winger, but the NHL doesn't really have real trades anymore apparently, thanks to the salary cap. To get a better idea of what kind of team the Oilers truly are, I was going to use their GF and GA to plot projected Pythagorean standings, but I figured that would be too depressing. But who knows, maybe this team will win another 10 shootouts?

Meanwhile! I'm coming home tomorrow (parachuting directly into West Edmonton Mall for some Christmas shopping) and looking to catch up on what's new in Edmonton. Apparently the cool kids don't go to the Black Dog anymore (I got an e-mail telling me that the place is overrun with "baseball caps"). But other important questions remain: do they still serve perogies at Northlands? Is Bryan Hall still on 630 CHED, successfully blurring the line between content and yelling about Tony Roma's ribs? Has someone finally built a Hudsons mothership on the old Esso sand lot on Whyte? Have people figured out that Chianti's has terrible food? All this and more, starting tomorrow.

In the spirit of Edmonton, I thought I'd dredge up this old ITV clip from the year Sam Gagner was born in. Ah Lesley MacDonald, with your puppy dog eyes and pouty lips, I could just ... you know... uh... I think I lost my train of thought.

14 comments:

Colm in Belfast said...

My sources in Edmonton tell of a new public house called The Empress. Apparently it caters to those who hanker for the Niinimaa-era Black Dog.

Andy Grabia said...

It's true. The Empress is the new Dog. Funny how quickly that got around.

I'll be watching the game at BP's, Mike. Lemme know if you get in in time.

Simon said...

Yeah, I'll vouch for the Empress. Although I was at the Dog on Thursday and it wasn't bad. Fish and Steve were still there, so that's gotta say something.

Holy Christ that ITV clip took me back. I had forgotten about the dancers and the cheesy synth music.

mc79hockey said...

I, for one, like baseball caps.

Eyeris said...

It's not so much the baseball caps but the Underdog DJ who plays crappy music, LOUDLY, to nobody's enjoyment but himself. What a prick.

Andy Grabia said...

I had forgotten that Ron Burgundy worked for ITV.

K said...

Where is the Empress at?

Drinking pints of Keith's on the Dog's roof during summer is one of my all-time favourite things I miss from living there.

K said...

That and a late-night run to the Funky Pickle after picking up some off sales from the Commie.

nathan said...

Despite all I've read on this blog about the general suckiness of Oilers PPV I went and ordered it...and you were all right. So far I've learned that of all the people throughout history Garon would want to meet Bono?? and that Gene Principe is a stuttering fanboy of William Petersen from CSI. At least the Oil are ahead with a goal from Penner, finally showing some effort....also many bloody Oil penalties.

nathan said...

Oh yeah, referring to a few posts ago...who would you want from the penguins for Roloson?

Steve said...

I had forgotten that Ron Burgundy worked for ITV.

I was about to make exactly the same point. But now that you have, I'll just agree that Chianti's does suck. Fiore, however, is delicious, despite being, as far as I can tell, run by the same people.

Steve said...

Oh yeah, referring to a few posts ago...who would you want from the penguins for Roloson?

Is Conklin available?

young d said...

Thanks to Mike for that old ITV clip. That brought me back.
If I'm correct, MASH just ended, didn't it?

I really didn't like Ross McLaughlin much. You can sure tell Ron Burgundy was not a fictional character at all. Every city had one. Ours was Ross. We still have Mike Sobel, though, pancake makeup and all.

Here's where slick Ross ended up.

http://www.wjla.com/pageloader.html?js=wjla&page=talent&pagename=ross_mclaughlin.html

Note in his bio that he was "nationally-recognized as the "Troubleshooter" in Canada" Yep. The whole country.

HBomb said...

That is one nasty moustache on Ross McLaughlin. Wow.....nowadays, that is the walking definition of the term "molestache".