Monday, February 4, 2008

Well, we're fucked

Guess whose polychromatic, first-line-centre eyes will soon be watching a doctor perform season-ending shoulder surgery.

If you guessed Olli Jokinen, you can just fuck right off.

Yep: Horcoff is done for the season. Here's hoping Cogliano or Gagner mounts a late-season bid for the Calder, because failing that, we're going to need the draft lottery to keep Steve Stamkos out of the hands of the Ducks.

You people like curling? Because there's no way I'm paying attention to the Oilers for 30 more games.

[Edit: I saw the story before I realized Mike from Ottawa mentioned it in the previous post's comments. Regardless, thanks for the link.]

[Further edit: someone hold me.]

51 comments:

LittleFury said...

This is the end
Beautiful friend
This is the end
My only friend, the end

Of our elaborate plans, the end
Of everything that stands, the end
No safety or surprise, the end
I'll never look into your eyes...again

Sob.

d said...

Starts typing up ad to sell Mar. 22 tickets

The Human Torch said...

Holy fucking shit.

Could these last two seasons have been ANY worse?

Loxy said...

How many losses did we close out last season with?

Eyeris said...

This whole team is fucked
Too bad our draft pick is moot
There's a gypsy curse

Andy Grabia said...

That picture is from the overtime winner gainst the Sharks in 06, isn't it? That was only 21 months ago.

Kirk said...

Whoa whoa whoa. Calm down on the panic button. Let's not forget that we recently acquired Curtis Glenncross. He might find his touch if he shifts over to centre...

*sigh*

I need a drink.

Katie O'D said...

First he's stuck on this hopeless team, and now he's broken. My life hurts just thinking about the poor guy.

heed said...

being an oiler fan is almost as enjoyable to waking up to kick in the nuts every single morning. almost...but not quite. ughh...

Sean M. said...

So, how many games until Schremp is called up?

David S said...

It gets worse boys. Souray's shoulder is pretty much fucked too. He's trying to rest it so he can get back in (probably due to the obligation he feels - ya think?). From what I've seen in his last few interviews, he knows he's only delaying the inevitable.

Aaaand - Hemsky isn't firing on all cylinders either. He's been playing hurt for a while.

Be thankful we've got an arena controversy to talk about (at least Andy does anyways), because there's only so many ways you can talk about how fucked this team is now. Shit - Lowetide almost forgot about a game thread last week or something. THAT's when you know its pretty much gone down the shitter.

Colm inBelfast said...

I can hardly wait to read the stories about how the 1-27-2 finish can be blamed on the injuries. And then nothing changes in the off-season. And then this all happens again next year.

sacamano said...

Fortunately, I do like curling.

LittleFury said...

I can hardly wait to read the stories about how the 1-27-2 finish can be blamed on the injuries.

Well technically, that would be true.

With Horcoff, we'd be looking at least a 2-26-2 stretch.

And then nothing changes in the off-season. And then this all happens again next year.

You have to stay the course. Not cut and run. We'll stand down when they stand up. We're fighting them there so we don't have to fight them here. Ughhhhh....

Chris! said...

I'd like to imagine that Kevin Lowe feels even just a little bit stupid for throwing away our top three picks on the Penner deal with a team this bad. And for signing Souray to sit injured in the press box and likely cost us one of Pitkanen or Gilbert in the off-season.

Quelle disastre.

Jorge said...

You guys had a first line centre?

Scarlett said...

I'm with sacamano...I like curling too! But curling replacing Oilers hockey is not what I like.

Eyeris said...

I think I'd rather follow blog posts on the US sub-prime mortgage crisis than the Oilers.

Rex Waverly said...

Well, then....

Does anybody know where I can go to get a good deal on some sturdy rope and a three-legged stool?

Pleasure Motors said...

That picture is from the overtime winner against the Sharks in 06, isn't it?

Sure is. I don't have the gumption to look this up, but I assume that by the end of this season, the Oilers will have had the worst two seasons following a Finals appearance in league history.

I'd like to imagine that Kevin Lowe feels even just a little bit stupid for throwing away our top three picks on the Penner deal with a team this bad.

I'd like to imagine someone at the Journal or Sun calling him on that.

Doogie said...

What's the difference between six-time Stanley Cup champion Kevin Lowe and six-time Stanley Cup champion Bob Gainey, both of whom attempted to rebuild on the fly to satisfy hockey-hungry markets?

Gainey's sixth Cup came as a GM.

And look where his team is now.

Funny how that works.

David S said...

Headline at CBC sports online...

"Goal-starved Iginla needs dose of Oilers"

For fucksake.

mike w said...

I just watched Georges Laraque crash into a guy, bringing him down to the ice, and then flip the guy over with one arm, all while smiling.

God I love that guy.

David S said...

Too bad MacT doesn't.

Prus said...

"I think I'd rather follow blog posts on the US sub-prime mortgage crisis than the Oilers."


Actually they're the same thing really. In both cases a bubble grew too big (one case house prices, other hubris) and then the inevitable result (one case rates "resetting" the other K-Low's bumbling) leads to disaster......hmmmm maybe they'll let me write my paper on this

mike w said...

Anyone see the latest Norm MacDonald-voiced Bell commercials?

Apparently the beavers are getting mad pussy now.

Chris! said...

Holy shit, 5-0? Apparently, Horcoff was holding us back.

That, or rumours of Joseph's death were not, in fact, greatly exaggerated.

Alex said...

No kidding. 5-0 against the Flames. In the summer when we're looking back at our shitty season, this might be the high point.

Pleasure Motors said...

In the summer when we're looking back at our shitty season, this might be the high point.

Oilerdämmerung?

MetroGnome said...

Ow. My pride...

grease trap said...

Yeah, it's a real beaver party.

hmmm...so much HD, lots of fast downloads...Time for new furniture!

MrDeddy said...

Hey, there's still the possibility of a late season surge; the team's got heart and pride and... aww, who am I kidding?

Anonymous said...

The title bugs me, why swear? Its SO juvenile! Cheapens your blog to the point of wondering whether you are one of "those" type of fans...

"those"- a hockey fan who annoys everyone at the game by yelling shoot at every point, and talks about what he would do if he was GM.

Chris! said...

Have you ever even read this blog??

Pleasure Motors said...

God forbid somebody should act juvenile while discussing a game.

LittleFury said...

Anonymous cocksuckers who have the fucking nerve to fucking run their cunt mouths about language on blogs really make my asshole clench up.

David S said...

Like that Fury guy says.

Fucking anonymouse fucks. Fuck.

grease trap said...

Shoooot!

Simon said...

Anonymous cocksuckers

What's wrong with cocksuckers? Is that somehow a bad thing?

Anonymous said...

Name: Mike Mono

Status: Annoyed at Edmontons unexplainable plentitude of trashy foulmouthed rednecks. Seriously, why make up a name like "little fury"? Would that somehow lend credence to my point? You guys are so PATHETIC, I saw earlier someone boycott this blog, and i'm out now also.

ps. Just to close on a classy note, i'm happy about Katz. You are all jerks, but at least deserve to have some stability and pride of ownership...

David S said...

Oh jeezuz.

LittleFury said...

You guys are so PATHETIC, I saw earlier someone boycott this blog, and i'm out now also

Since we're sharing, I just took a really great dump: you know, the kind that makes you feel like you just slept for 12 hours.

ps. Just to close on a classy note, i'm happy about Katz. You are all jerks, but at least deserve to have some stability and pride of ownership...

Fucking rights.

Chris! said...

Thanks for reading, Mike Mono! Your contributions will be sorely missed.

MetroGnome said...

I saw earlier someone boycott this blog, and i'm out now also.

Anyone here ever work retail? Ever had one of those gigantic asshole customers who "threatens" to take their business elsewhere and you laugh in their face...?

Yeah, I was oddly reminded of that for some reason.

Chris! said...

Apparently, no one ever explained to Mike Mono that boycotts only work when there's potential income loss at stake.

Still, it's for the best.

mike w said...

What about all of those cyber dollars we've received under the web table?

Dennis said...

Mike W: Those Norm things make me sick but check youtube for some of his appearences on Dennis Miller's radio show.

Gold

Shovels said...

2 wins in a row without Horcoff with 9 goals scored. I'm sure the faithful will welcome back any fair weather fans that gotten over their broken ankles.

Mattstro Disastro said...

[i]What's wrong with cocksuckers? Is that somehow a bad thing?[/i]

You should almost always know who's doing that for you. Really.

And no talk of stealing Stamkos! He's a Leaf-to-be, dammit!

Anonymous said...

I'm with Sacamano and Scarlett, I like curling but would rather be watching a good hockey season.

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