Sunday, June 29, 2008

Colour me hesitant mauve

Now, as a straight-up trade, Jarret Stoll and Matt Greene for Lubomir Visnovsky (pictured left, using his Slovakian charm to get himself out of a speeding ticket, or something) is of course incredible, the kind of trade the Oilers always used to be on the other end of, happily gobbling up middling players with question marks or unproven youngsters with potential (say, when was the last time we made that kind of trade?) in exchange for a proven but possibly declining veteran.

But things will follow this. Joni Pitkanen is probably gone, and I'm not sure how I feel about that. Actually, wait, no, I really love somewhat chaotic, flaky Finnish defenceman, especially 24-year-old ones who are capable of skating an entire lap with three effortless, platonic strides. Also, thanks to Wikipedia, I just found out that Pitkanen is supposedly spelled Pitkänen, because apparently Joni Pitkänen is not the kind of man who tells you he's awesome, he's the kind of man who rips your intestines out with his penis and uses them to spell "I'm awesome" on your motherfucking grave. With umlauts. I'm really not happy about that.

Basically what I'm saying is, this deal in and of itself is fine, but I won't know if I'm happy or not until I see what follows. I think there's a slight danger that Visnovsky might be declining with age (and he's now the second expensive, offensive-minded 30+ defenceman we have locked up long term) but he'll probably be pretty good for the duration of his contract. I might be happy if the roster stayed roughly the same (if that's even financially possible), but then a whole lot of things would have to go right up front: we'd almost be like a much more slick, European version of the Flames (sans the goalie, of course). And if Joni really müst go, whoever comes back had better be able to both play hockey and shred a guitar like it was a finely aged parmesan.

(PS Hat tip to Lowetide for the news.)

5 comments:

Simon said...

Basically what I'm saying is, this deal in and of itself is fine, but I won't know if I'm happy or not until I see the antecedent.

I hate to be that guy, but I don't think you mean antecedent. I would hate for you to blow an opportunity to get laid by using the word antecedent in a sentence wrongly.

Antecedent is something logically prior and previous to something. The antecedent of the Stoll/Greene - Visnovsky trade was Stoll being washed up. The consequence will probably be Pitkanen leaving.

I'll stop being that guy now.

DMFB said...

Everyone's a fucking critic.

Anyway, thanks for catching that: it's fixed.

Black Dog said...

You big brained college kids and your 50 cents words.

Me like trade.

mike w said...

Trade good. [gnaws on a drumstick]

Jamie said...

I was a tad disappointed that Covered in Oil missed the opportunity to herald the arrival of LUBE!
This guy (http://bergmanscores.blogspot.com/) managed to get it right... he even used the same pic as you.
Better get your minds back in the gutter, boys.