Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Real Orchids, Covered in Gold

In case you haven't heard, there's this new search engine out there called Cuil (a stupidly unintuitive, unpronouncable moniker that they want you to refer to as "cool"). Created by former Google engineers and sent live yesterday, this spry young newcomer debuted with a web index of 120-billion pages, more than triple the index maintained by their former employers, while using a fraction of the server space — pretty fancy-sounding stuff that the creators hoped would position Cuil to take a bite out of the big G's search empire. Today, that seems an even more laughable claim than it did a day before, as millions of users went to check out Cuil and realized that it, well, sucks as a search engine, if relevancy is important to you.

Go ahead. Click on that link and see what comes up. The results are often baffling. Which is not to say they aren't interesting — after all, if I hadn't tried to search for Covered in Oil using Cuil, I never would have learned about this online gift shop run out of Knoxville, Tenn., and its amazing gold-slathered flowers:
A beautiful real cymbidium orchid preserved and covered in 24kt gold. Each is unique and around 5 inches in length, width, and depth with 5 petals. Each is gift boxed and delivered with your message. As with all of our gifts. Your satisfaction is guaranteed, or your money back. $55
I'm really not sure what parameters I would use to determine my satisfaction level with an orchid covered in gold, but I'm sure goldiness and orchidicity are in there somewhere. The free included message is certainly a nice touch, though. I bet Sam Gagner would really appreciate one of these delivered to his home. (Possible note ideas: You are my golden child? Here's hoping you blossom into a No. 1 centre?) Not on my $55, though. You guys go right ahead. (Hot Oil ladies?)

3 comments:

mike w said...

First post!

I took a look at cuil, or "kewl" or however it's pronounced, and it sucks.

Doesn't the Google campus have a ping pong table for every four desks? I'd never quit that shit.

uni said...

Don't forget the free sodie pop, I hear they have free sodie pop.

Lord Bob said...

I played bass back in the '80s for Orchids Covered in Gold.