Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Canucks name Luongo captain, let others actually handle the captain-related stuff

Yes, so: what do you call a team captain who doesn't get to wear the "C," is unable to take ceremonial faceoffs, can't skate to centre ice to argue calls with the refs, and basically won't be doing anything captain-related whatsoever except muttering vaguely inspirational platitudes to a dressing room full of AHLers and real, live, actual captain-eligible players who can't figure out why the their team would name a goaltender captain when the NHL's Rule 14D explicitly prohibits it?

You call him Roberto Luongo — or Bobby Lou if you're an insufferable ass cheering for a doomed team.

Canucks Board has the "logistics":

Details: Though he cannot 'officially' wear the C, he is 'named' the captain. They have officially put him down as the captain, but Lui cannot take the ceremonial face-offs, wear the "C" on his sweater or argue calls.

Alternates: Ohlund, Kesler, Mitchell. Ohlund will be taking the ceremonial face-offs and Mitchell will do the discussions with the refs.
Shameless publicity exercise? Or is Luongo really the best guy for the job despite the handicaps of his position?

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Best comment so far, from Lord Bob:
As part of their continuing effort to give their best player meaningless titles, I've been informed by a reliable source that the Canucks also plan to name Luongo their first-line right wing before the new season.

30 comments:

Kent W. said...

Love it.

Will C-A-P-T-A-I-N be stitched on his chest?

loudog said...

Am I the only one finding this funny? Great player... but a goalie Captain?? cmon...

Earl Sleek said...

Luongo's got a lot of character, though. Not everybody would willingly play in Vancouver for millions of dollars a year (apparently).

Lord Bob said...

As part of their continuing effort to give their best player meaningless titles, I've been informed by a reliable source that the Canucks also plan to name Luongo their first-line right wing before the new season.

DMFB said...

Seems to me like sucking up to the only reason your team won't be a complete laughingstock.

As in, "Sorry, Roberto, for basically tanking this team into one that was just as bad as the one you left before, but hey, you're the only goalie captain, so that's something, right? Right?"

Nucks Forever said...

Hey all you Oiler fans are just jealous neither of your goalies even hold a candle to Louie !
Man it's gonna have to suck for you guys to watch Louie mop the floor with your team 6 times....OUTCH !!!
But seriously all you guys are just reinforcing why he should be captain, best choice period!

Lord Bob said...

But seriously all you guys are just reinforcing why he should be captain, best choice period!

By saying how he is literally forbidden from fulfilling the responsibilities of a captain, we are making the case for him to be the captain?

How post-modern.

Also, if I were Mattias Ohlund, I'd be losing my shit right now. "Sure, you can be captain. You can't wear the C or get any of the glory or credibility, but you can do all the work."

Nucks Forever said...

By saying how he is literally forbidden from fulfilling the responsibilities of a captain, we are making the case for him to be the captain?

How is he being forbidden? It just happened didn't it ?
Anyway all these ceremonial things like arguing with refs etc., when have they ever changed anything? The real leadership is in the dressing room and on the ice.

doritogrande said...

nucks forever:

Oh yeah? Well our captain can beat the snot out of your captain!

Not only because he's got all that padding to get around, but his hair's too greasy.

Lord bob: Not only that, but he's going to be the third skater out for the shootout.

Temujin said...

When I heard this on the radio today, my hand slapped my forehead.

and basically won't be doing anything captain-related whatsoever except muttering vaguely inspirational platitudes to a dressing room full of AHLers and real, live, actual captain-eligible players who can't figure out why the their team would name a goaltender captain...

I have no response to this, since it's exactly what I was thinking. You just put it perfectly into words.

I'll still call him Bobby Lou though, because I am an insufferable ass. And I don't think they are entirely doomed.
4-0 in the pre-season, baby. It means something. Really.

kinger said...

I think the question we should all have on our minds is who will Luongo pass the cup to?

4-0 BABY, UNDEFEATED! YEA!

GMCN Innovations said...

Since Luongo is already signed in past the Olympics, Gillis had to come up with another brilliant and franchise-saving idea to get/keep a star in Van.

I can see the motive behind doing it, but it just doesn't seem right. Just thinking about it gives me that eery feeling like when I'm leaving the house and I think I've forgotten something, but I've done the checklist: keys, wallet, cell phone. What the hell am I missing?

bish said...

I still don't understand why there had to be a press release for this.
They couldn't have just had a team meeting about it? Or, better yet, just let it be an unsaid thing in the room? Your best player is always going to be a leader no matter what letter you slap on the jersey. Especially when your 3rd and 4th line has 100 nhl games under their belt combined.
Mike Gillis is looking more and more desperate every day, and I for one really enjoy it.

Doogie2K said...

How is he being forbidden? It just happened didn't it ?
Anyway all these ceremonial things like arguing with refs etc., when have they ever changed anything? The real leadership is in the dressing room and on the ice.


Rulebook? Hello? Are there really only six intelligent Canucks fans on the entire Internet? The only official duty of the captain (and his alternates) is to argue with the fucking refs! Everything else, including the dressing-room and media shit, is ceremonial, because a half-dozen people can do the dressing-room and media shit.

4-0 in the pre-season, baby. It means something. Really.

Spoiler to an upcoming post: it doesn't. I can prove it.

Bruce said...

Just thinking about it gives me that eery feeling like when I'm leaving the house and I think I've forgotten something, but I've done the checklist: keys, wallet, cell phone. What the hell am I missing?


Pants?

GMCN Innovations said...

Bruce, well then what pocket have I been putting my stuff into. Wait a minute....ewwwwww. Anyone wanna buy a slightly-used set of keys, wallet or cell phone?

Today's Word Verification is 'senxfu'. It's borderline dirty.

Baroque said...

It strikes me more as the same kind of thing when a company can't actually give you a promotion, or a raise, but they give you a newer and snazzier title and espect your self-esteem and productivity to shoot up because you are now "valued" as a "member" of the "team."

"Sorry we can't get you more offense to make your job easier, but here is the ceremonial captaincy!"

I don't have a problem with it. I do think that he should take ceremonial faceoffs, though, just because it would be a funny picture.

Temujin said...

Not so related, but best Headline of the Day

Bwa ha ha ha ha

5-0 in the pre-season.

kinger said...

6-0!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

bish said...

I wonder if these Canuck fans will be as stoked when they go 2-9 in the first month. I'll guess we'll just wait and see.

crapsie said...

I don't know what must be more distressing for a Canucks fan... the fact that it has been some 50 or so years since an organization hasn't been able to find a capable forward or defenseman who can be entrusted to perform the duties that are required by and outlined for a Captain, or that their chosen captain is going to fly down to Florida at game 74 to usher in 'Bobby-Lou's' second baby amidst Vancouver's first 3-game winning streak of the year. Real gamer that Bobby Lou.

Muller said...

Only in the Canuck organization would something like happen.

Doogie2K said...

4-0 in the pre-season, baby. It means something. Really.
=====
Spoiler to an upcoming post: it doesn't. I can prove it.


And here's the proof. Behold, the power of the preseason!

Rod said...

Uh, Crapsie? 6-0. Yeah, it's pre-season, so spare me the reminder. Or is it better to be 1-4 in your eyes? Heh.

And Luongo's family is with him in Vancouver now, so no need to leave town.

Doogie2K said...

Uh, Crapsie? 6-0. Yeah, it's pre-season, so spare me the reminder. Or is it better to be 1-4 in your eyes? Heh.

It is neither better nor worse. It simply is.

Temujin said...

And here's the proof. Behold, the power of the preseason!

I'm certainly not going let something silly like facts and history get in the way of a good gloat.

What a monster post that is. Seems like an awful lot of work just to analyze something we all know is meaningless :-)

All kidding aside, that's some impressive work there. I had forgotten about the roaring start the Sens had last year. They tore through the preseason and looked unbeatable for the first month of the season until the wheels started to come off.

Doogie2K said...

I'm certainly not going let something silly like facts and history get in the way of a good gloat.

And were I in your position, I'd do the same. Humans are lovably predictable like that. ;)

And while I know that we know it's meaningless, I've found in the past that it's good to have something to point back to, in the event that you need it. Besides, verbosity comes naturally to me; tracking down preseason stats is hard.

Doogie2K said...

Oh, and thanks for the kind words, too.

the weaz said...

Joey Moss can't take cerimonial face offs, can't argue with the refs... and he is the MAN the Oilers dressing room, let's give him the 'C'.

Slomo said...

I had some Roberto Luongo at the Olive Garden last night. Delish!