"You really don't think my ample power play time inflated my stats in 06/07?"
Poor Rachel Hunter: if only she would have waited a month or two, she could have got an engagement ring almost two-thirds bigger than the one her mildly concussed boytoy dropped on her former-supermodel finger.
Word from the land of movie stars and swimming pools is that Jarret Stoll just got a nice little raise, signing a contract worth $14 million over four years. So, in a little over two months in LA, Jarret Stoll has got engaged to a former supermodel and received a million-dollar pay raise: Raffi Torres, meanwhile, has been reduced to doing cocaine of the ass of a lowland gorilla with Jack Hanna.
Anyway, you have to wonder what, if anything, LA GM Dean Lombardi is thinking here, throwing Jeff Finger money at a dude who spent most of last year putting his skates on the wrong foot and trying to order hot dogs from the bench, or whatever the fuck it was Stoll was doing to manage a whopping 15 points at even strength last year. (Fun fact: Marty Reasoner, who played slightly easier minutes than Stoll with far worse teammates—and who has all the offensive prowess of lobster bisque—scored 22 points at even strength last year.)
Sure, Stoll had a flash of usefulness in 06/07, proving to be a fairly solid second-line centre who could do some damage on the power play—that is, if by "do some damage" you mean "stand motionless waiting for a one-timer and let loose a cannon of a shot, if the balsa wood stick he insists on using doesn't disintegrate on contact"—but the last two years have seen some fairly serious injury trouble and some fairly serious outright sucking, which you would think would make a GM somewhat hesitant to drop gobs of cash on a guy for a decent term.
Granted, if Stoll regains his form—if you can even call it that, since he really only managed it for about a season and half—this will be a perfectly reasonable contract, but why in the sweet hell would Lombardi take that kind of chance? There's a very real possibility he just locked up a shitty third-line center who can only score on the powerplay for four years and $3.5 mil: I don't care how many awesome young forwards you have, your long-term prospects are not rosy if you insist on making these types of gambles.