Sunday, October 19, 2008

I like to watch



Ahhhhhhhh. Yes. Yes. You just keep doing that, Steve MacIntyre. No, it's okay — don't be shy. Listen, I'm going to turn down the lights and go sit down in that armchair in the corner, okay? Just pretend I'm not even here. You don't mind if I smoke, do you? No, you don't mind. You just keep doing your thing. Yeah. That's nice. That's real nice.

Look, people, I'm not going to lie to you — even 12 hours later, my nips are like the business end of a Pro-Twist 7 x 7/16 Pan Head watching this clip. That right there, folks, is some genuinely satisfying Boyd-smashery. I can take or leave his pursuant waltz with Falmes "tough" "guy" Curtis Glencross David Moss Brandon Prust, but those first few sublime seconds in which MacIntyre takes Dustin Boyd's mind and throws it into the stands like a wadded-up Teen Burger wrapper ... this is what it feels like when doves cry. And it sounds like my heart was not the only one sent a-flutter by last night's gleeful display of public thuggery:

“That was a wicked hit on Boyd,” Oilers coach Craig MacTavish said. “It was an inspirational shift. The momentum changed somewhat at that point. He built an instant relationship with the fans. That was Relationship Building 101 by him.”
Indeed. I know that's how pretty much every meaningful relationship I've ever been in has started. Anyhow, I have a feeling there's a new nickname in there somewhere. The Counsellor? Life Coach? The Bad Friend? I defer to the wisdom of the mob on this one.

And now, some Bonus Thought Nuggets, dumped piping hot from the dripping deep fryer basket of my brain into the oil-stained cardboard container of your, uh, eyes:

• Strudwick: In danger of becoming this year's Cory Cross? He knows his role and does a lot of little things right out there, but own-goals are great fodder for a wild-eyed fanbase still searching for a new defenceman to run out of town.

• Penner: Would fitting his helmet with a rack of ribs dangling on the end of a stick help him keep up with the play? For the $15 it could cost, seems like a low-risk, high reward experiment. I'd say we have at least three or four games before he figures out that he can easily reach the ribs with his hands.

• Pouliot: Hit with the same magic bolt of lightning that temporarily gave Jarret Stoll superpowers in the post-lockout season? Nice clutch of games to start the year. If he played for the Kings, MAP would be signing a five-year, $25M contract extension right now.

• Calgary: Are you sucking it yet?

18 comments:

andy grabia said...

I love you guys.

mike w said...

Chris is back!

teebeeplayer said...

i love it when you talk sexy...

Doogie2K said...

Hit with the same magic bolt of lightning that temporarily gave Jarret Stoll superpowers in the post-lockout season?

Wasn't that bolt of lightning wearing #34, too?

Garnet said...

Your eros-soaked prose is just what some visitors must surely be expecting from a blog with a name like this. So keep it up, I guess.

BenJammin said...

As for nicknames how about the Love Guru? Care Bear (as opposed to Huggy Bear)? He certainly sent Boyd to the Kingdom of Care-a-lot. The Love Doctor? Dr. Filibuster? Okay, I'll stop now.

doritogrande said...

RE Penner:

I think he'd much prefer a burger from the drive-in in Winkler. Damn those are great.

Scott said...

The nickname cries out from his initials:

Le S&M.

the weaz said...

I like to call him SMACKentire.

Chris! said...

I gotta say, I find S&M very intriguing. Both as a nickname for Steve MacIntyre and as a way to achieve orgasm.

But I'm also strangely partial to Lord Bob's offer of "Coin Laundry" from the thread in last night's post. He's bigger than a Coke machine, and there when you need him!

Very fitting.

raventalon40 said...

Screw the Coke machine analogy, he's the entire freakin' Coke factory!

mcmatterson said...

The bad friend link made me reopen the June 2006 compartment in my brain. Both good and bad.

wuzzles said...

"I Like To Watch"

Always makes me think of Chance, The Gardiner :-)

Rock Deputy said...

In keeping with the Laundry themed nicknames:

Permanent Press
Spin Cycle
Dark Load
The Softener
Front Loader

this seems to be working its way back to S&M...

mike w said...

I prefer:

The Safe Word.

marriedtotheoil said...

That hit had a serious wire-fu element to it. How did he end up airborne and sideways above the ice?!

Doogie2K said...

That hit had a serious wire-fu element to it. How did he end up airborne and sideways above the ice?!

SmackIntyre Magic

Hey, there's that S&M again. Gahdam.

raventalon40 said...

How about Big Mac? Or does that conjure up too many images of greasy patties and sesame buns?