Sunday, October 12, 2008

It begins


So, the NHL season officially gets underway tonight, which is to say it's the first real Oilers game of the season. Now it's for real boys, leave it all on the ice, make your mommas proud, rah rah rah, et cetera.

As always, the beginning of the season carries with it many questions, such as...

-How long before MacT fires up the blender? I'd wager a frosty one on him letting the boys play for the first period, but after that, all bets are off.

-How long before Steve MacIntyre gets brutally exposed as the 28-year-old career minor-leaguer he's been to this point? As a corollary, how many bones in my face could he break/how far back would I fly if he were to take issue with me impugning his abilities as hockey player? In order, I'd say the first shift he plays, six (the ethmoid, lacrimal, mandible and three nasal), and about 12 feet.

-How long will the lines last, in the pre-blender, depth-chart sense? I don't give the third line long at all: they just looked bad through a lot of the pre-season, as could be expected when you have 2/3 of the line playing out of position. That said, I don't think the top two lines will change much until MacT decided to split up the kids, which I'll give about 15 or 20 games. Not that they aren't dynamite together, just that I think the best use of this roster probably involves shifting them through the lineup somewhat. Or at least not playing Fernando Pisani at centre.

-Further, is there really any proof to the whole "Moreau's on the third line becaue of optics" thing? It seems too convenient to me: back in the day, I seem to recall this team had no problem stuffing Kelly "Original Heart and Soul" Buchberger on the fourth line; is MacT really that concerned with egos, and for that matter, is Moreau really that sensitive? I'm more willing to chalk it up to some kind of paranoia about throwing the kids onto the third line on MacT's part.

-Who will win the Hot Off? I say if it's not Cogliano, there is something wrong with the Oilogosphere: pictures of his face could be sold as industrial-strength panty remover.

-Will the old-school jerseys convince Edmonton fans/management that the new ones look like ass? And further, will this be the season the average pot-bellied hockey fan realizes the streamlined jersey demands an increase in size unless you want to look like you're expecting twins? We can only hope on both counts.

-How long before the Oilers play "Rich Girl" by Hall and Oates on the PA? Seriously, the fans want to know.

Anyway, I've finagled my way into the press box once again, so feel free to return for a liveblog full of snide commentary and comments on the pre-game press meal at about 6pm, provided of course you're not up to your neck in turkey and drunk uncles.

GOILERS.

25 comments:

mike w said...

You are the Northlands burger of my heart.

GOIL

grease trap said...

I'm a drunk uncle!

Lord Bob said...

I'm just drunk.

Chris! said...

I sure hope our pal Kristine doesn't mind the fact that I'm going to spend three hours glued to her TV during tonight's Thanksgiving/housewarming party.

mike w said...

You sure she has regional Sportsnet?

I'm PVRing it just in case.

mike w said...

Ah, being a Oilers fan in Toronto.

Lord Bob said...

Is it just me, or did Pleasure Motors set some sort of ignomious record by deleting his own liveblog?

That, or did he offend the wrong guys and is currently on the bad end of a tuning-up from Daryl Katz's goons?

Baroque said...

It must have been that last taunt about taking the final ice cream sandwich. :)

mc79hockey said...

I wonder if the Oilers have some sort of a policy about liveblogging games from their press box or if LaForge just found out that a representative of a group that has railed against his "general smarminess", said things like " I thought Laforge was canned at first, which would have been delightful, but I guess he's still in the mix..." and "[Lowe will] seem much less like a pimp than Patrick LaForge when shilling for a new arena", made reference to "Pat LaForge-minted "we want what's best for the city" drivel", called him a "snake oil salesman that's laid out some real nose-stretchers about the team's finances and the Oilers "dire" need for a new arena" and complained about him "shilling his flex packs on PPV".

Or maybe he just got bored.

Loxy said...

Still, to delete it? Maybe they sent MacIntyre...

Lord Bob said...

So, Chris, is Covered in Oil hiring while Pleasure recovers in hospital from the Oiler-induced beating? :P

Lowetide said...

They probably brought in Dennis Hopper and not the Easy Rider Dennis Hopper, the Blue Velvet Dennis Hopper.

Temujin said...

Those Oiler jerseys are amazing. And Dustin Penner is now on pace for 164 goals this season.

Loxy said...

And Pleasure Motors was never heard from again.

casomas said...

our highest goal scorer from last year is on the 3rd line. as much as chubs disappointed us last year... he had a smytty like ability for goals garbage. undefeated! goil!

DMFB said...

I'm alive. That's all I'll say.

T. said...

I was at the game but it seems I may have missed something big here!! Wha' happen'??

Lord Bob said...

Sounds to me like somebody took Pleasure Motors's ice cream sandwich...

mike w said...

or if LaForge just found out that a representative of a group that has railed against his "general smarminess", said things like " I thought Laforge was canned at first, which would have been delightful, but I guess he's still in the mix..." and "[Lowe will] seem much less like a pimp than Patrick LaForge when shilling for a new arena", made reference to "Pat LaForge-minted "we want what's best for the city" drivel", called him a "snake oil salesman that's laid out some real nose-stretchers about the team's finances and the Oilers "dire" need for a new arena" and complained about him "shilling his flex packs on PPV".

Funnily enough, I said all of those things not DB.

Kirsten said...

Cogliano gets a big not so much in my book, so I won't be voting for him.

Marchantfan said...

So... I have the update from 5:20pm with the shot at Terry Jones in my feed reader, but the post is now missing. What's the deal? Has CiO joined the "in the tank for the Oilers" media?

Lord Bob said...

Look for the upcoming series "The Edmonton Investors' Group: Greatest Guys in Edmonton's History", not to mention the shocking expose "A Downtown Arena: Why Jesus Would Want One:,

andy grabia said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
raventalon40 said...

Who will win the Hot Off? I say if it's not Cogliano, there is something wrong with the Oilogosphere: pictures of his face could be sold as industrial-strength panty remover.

Quote of the (young) season.

doritogrande said...

I don't live in Edmonton, has the Journal reported any bodies fished out of the North Saskatchewan yet?