Saturday, October 11, 2008

Looking to make a quick buck

Is there a lot of money in getting hockey players to sign hockey cards and 8x10 glossies? There must be. I walked by the usual gang of parasitic middle-age nerds blocking every entrance to the Air Canada Centre on my way to work today, with their Sharpies and clipboards in hand waiting to accost Dominic Moore or whoever. "There's Nick Kypreos!" one called out, and sure enough there he was, walking by briskly talking on his cell phone, although I was amused to see that he was left alone I guess the signed Kypreos glossy that I saw on eBay is overvalued at 10 bucks and not worth the collectors' time.

All of this leads me to think about the fact that I work two floors down from the NHLPA. When I rode the elevator with Glen Healy this week, should I have hit him up for beer money in the form of a signed O-Pee-Chee, re-sale value $24.30?

No. You know why? Because I am a thirty year-old man. And a proud one at that. It's the same reason I didn't say a word to Craig MacTavish when he sat next to me for an entire flight from Toronto to Edmonton, even though I was this close to blurting something out about playing Zack Stortini on the powerplay.

We are through the looking glass now, people

Not much to say about the Oilers on the eve of their season opener, except that with the demotion of Mathieu Roy and Robbie Schremp the Oilers set roster is almost exactly what most predicted it would be before training camp even started. Unlike last year, I'm sure Schremp will be back with the club for a string of games within two months.

Nothing cooler than the colour black, apparently

The newly relaunched NHL site is actually pretty spiffy but the best feature is being able to see every goal a player has scored starting from last year. Suddenly it's easier to make a case for a player's quality of goals scored, not as a stat or anything, but just as a means of scouting a player's production (all goals are good things, but some are truly better than others). For instance, as everyone should know, that turd-bag Darcy Tucker is a useless hockey player, and it's all laid bare when you watch the video highlights of his 18 goals last year. At a glance:

2 random ping-pong shots off his ass and leg when he wasn't looking
1 on a long pass that gets by a Rangers' defenceman caught snoozing, probably because his team was up 6-0
4-5 rebound stabs at the puck as a late, late trailer on plays created by linemates
1 during a two-man powerplay advantage
2 lucky/highly accurate shots from terrible angles along the boards
1 Empty netter

But hey, what do I know? Good luck with the Colorado Avalanche this year, Darcy, old pal.


mcmatterson said...

Agree with you about the Kypreos/Healy, but I would have had a reeeeeally tough time not talking to MacT.

mike w said...

Indeed. Plenty of other people talked to him, so I just left it at that. He was a super nice guy, too.

Anonymous said...

If I was sitting next to him for an entire flight, I'd probably be able to resist the temptation for most of the way but finally, just after the captain announced that we were descending into Edmonton, I'd have to ask how much he hated Joffrey Lupul, why in the fuck he was playing Smid over Hejda and how in the hell it is that such a bright well spoken man can't fix the PP.

Also, I'm either surprised to learn that he flies coach or you fly first class.

Black Dog said...

Mike is first class all the way. If he were a sports organization he would be the Montreal Canadiens.

Doogie2K said...

I've mentioned before on this here series of tubes that I graduated from high school a bit early (four years, actually). It was the cause of a lot of attention growing up, of both kinds, and there were times when both just wore on me. Then Mom would point out how Wayne Gretzky got/gets hounded for autographs and interviews everywhere he goes in the hockey world, indicating that (a) there's a price to pay for being good at what you do, and (b) I didn't have it that bad, really.

The point of that anecdote is to say, because of that, I don't really bother with famous people. I've encountered quite a few on the U of C campus since moving to kinesiology: I've had classes at the Olympic Oval, run into Cindy Klaasen, Clara Hughes, and Danielle Goyette a whole bunch (one time almost literally), and actually had the ice time after Hayley Wickenheiser's pro team during my hockey class. Never stopped, said anything, or asked for anything, because my reasoning is, they're just being themselves, trying to do a job, or in a couple of cases, just having a coffee with a friend. Now, maybe they actually don't mind being bugged for autographs and answering silly questions and stuff like that, but the way I see it, if it's not a specifically designated opportunity for such (e.g. Olympian meet-and-greet), I'm going to leave them alone, because I have to think that if I were them, I would want that.

Lord Bob said...

How do you think MacTavish felt sitting next to the great Mike Winters for an entire flight but knowing he shouldn't say aynthing?

Anonymous said...

I bet he was thinking the whole time "Can I say 'Wanna go fuck behind a dumpster?' without making an ass of myself?"

D2K - Four years early? Fuck. Well, I get your screen name now. How'd that happen? Were you doing summer school and such?

mike w said...

I bet he was thinking the whole time "Can I say 'Wanna go fuck behind a dumpster?' without making an ass of myself?"

Man, you have a long memory.

Marchantfan said...

mike, you must remember how deep the affection for PH is among a certain deeply sick population.

"I got the AIDS!" "Again?"